


Bird with a Broken Wing

by RubySoho



Series: Bird With A Broken Wing [1]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: ALL THE GOOD STUFF, Adventure, F/M, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 04:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 48,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15834150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubySoho/pseuds/RubySoho
Summary: Everyone in the Last City and beyond knows the story of the Guardians, the soldiers whose path was set in the stars long before the Collapse. But what if the Light lived, burrowed away, in one of the living? What if her destiny came to claim her?And what if she changed everything?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This has been kicking around on multiple computers for over a year, so thanks to a lull at work I'm going to post it. Hope you enjoy!

_The inferno raged around them, belching smoke into the night._

_“Where are the others?” Ger rasped._

_“Right behind you.”_

_“Any idea what’s happened here?”_

_“’Fraid not. That’s for you to find out.”_

_“Hook me in.”_

_Ger took a tentative step into the chaos, hand outstretched, as his Ghost wired in the comms. His fingers were burning through his gloves, but it didn’t seem to be getting worse._

_“...at’s happening, boss?”_

_“Stay close,” Ger said. “Both of you. Watch for – “_

_Something slammed into his leg. His gun was in his hands before he’d even fully registered the impact, Arc energy sparking in the pads of his fingers._

_“Light!” He barked. His Ghost immediately obliged._

_He nearly dropped the rifle._

_The child squinted at him. Skinny arms and legs, hair braided, body wrapped in what looked like animal skins and covered from heat to to in soot._ _Before Ger could say anything, the barrel of a gun appeared at his shoulder. The little girl let out a thin wail and promptly wet herself._

_“It’s a kid, Takaala!” Ger snapped, knocking the gun away._

_“Don’t be ridiculous, Ger.” Algoth said. “Nothing could have survived this. You can smell the burning - “_

_“That’s plenty.” Ger cut him off. Before he could overthink it, he released his helmet with a hiss and pulled it off._

_“Have you lost your mind?” Takaala gaped._

_“Where’s your family, little one?” He said, ignoring the Warlock._

_“Ger – “_

_“P-please,” she said, visibly quivering._

_“Ger, that’s – “_

_Please don’t k-k-kill me.”_

_“Ger, I think she’s a Nightcr – “_

_“Enough!” He snapped over his shoulder. The child wilted, eyes flicking between them._

_“It’s alright.” Ger said quickly. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way and took a tiny step towards her._

_She didn’t move._

_“Where’s your family?”_

_Wordlessly, she pointed into the depths of the inferno. Ger felt his guts plummet. And speaking of guts, he thought, she was clutching at her abdomen, white knuckles visible through the soot coating her hands._

_“You hurt, little one?"_

_“Magpie.”_

_“Magpie?”_

_“That’s my name,” she croaked. “Magpie.”_

_“Huh.”_

_As gently as he could Ger plucked his Mark from his hip, ignoring Takaala’s noise of dissent behind him._

_“Can I see?”_

_Magpie’s trembling hands were coated with blood, dried and fresh, as she lifted them away from the dark spot near her waist. Ger folded the Mark once and once again and handed it to her._

_“Here,” he said. “Press that on, and don’t let up until the bleeding stops. Can you stand?”_

_Magpie shook her head and promptly burst into tears. Ger’s decision was made for him._

_“We’re going,” he said sharply to his Fireteam, ignoring their mutinous expressions. He snapped his helmet back on and scooped Magpie into his arms, where she howled and thrashed as though he’d set her ablaze._

_“Can you shut her up?” Takaala muttered irritably into the comms as they started to walk. “She’ll give us away if we’re not careful.”  
“You’re all heart, Takaala.”_

_“If you think I’m going to - “_

_“I’ll fight you,” Magpie said suddenly, with a surprising amount of venom for a child. “If you try to kill me, I’ll fight you. I’m not scared.”_

_“Why on Earth would we try to kill you?” Ger said._

_“Because you’re a Guardian.” She said, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world._

_“So?”_

_An explosion rattled the air around them and Magpie shrank back into his arms._

_“It’s getting heavy out here, boss.” Algoth said grimly into his ear. “We need you._

_“I’ll be with you in a second,” Ger said heavily. He lowered Magpie gently to the ground and she grabbed his hand, tiny fingers curling around his own._

_“It’s not safe here, Magpie.” he said gently. “Are your family evacuating?”_

_“What’s that mean?”_

_“Leaving,” he said grimly. “Heading to where it’s safe.”_

_“I d-don’t know,” Magpie hiccuped. “I don’t know where M-Mama is.”_

_Ger felt an iron fist of misery clench around his heart. The village burned around them._

_Trying not to let his face betray him, he looked for shelter. The land outside the City wall was notoriously mountainous and wild, but his immediate surroundings were flat and tilled. Farmland. How had they never spotted farmland?_

_“How well do you know the countryside, Magpie?” He said slowly._

_She shrugged, one thumb in her mouth._

_He knelt so he was level with her head. “I need you to find somewhere to hide, kid. You hear me? Fast as you can. Keep still, and don’t come out until it’s quiet. Do you understand?”_

_She nodded and took a couple of hesitant steps forward, before stopping with a contemplative look. She peeled the Mark away from her side carefully and offered it to him._

_Ger chuckled and pushed her cold little hands back. “Keep it. Remember we’re not all monsters.”_

_Her face split into a wide smile, the first Ger had seen._

_“Thanks, mister,” she said, and took off into the smoke. Grief unfurled in Ger’s chest. She was tiny. Alone._

_And what were humans doing out here anyway?_

_“Alright team,” he said down the comms, fighting to keep his voice steady. “What’s our - “_

_The burst was so violent it narrowed his sound, his vision down to a pinprick, slamming him into the ground, forcing the air from his lungs. Scrabbling among the dirt for his weapon, Ger hauled his breaths in. Dirt scratched his eyes as he blinked, trying to find clarity in the chaos._

_When he found it, he would have given it up again in an instant._

_Six enormous metal legs. One monstrous body. Fallen everywhere, screaming into the night._

_No sign of Algoth or Takaala._

_A horrible, grinding noise next to him made him jump. His blood froze. The flickering, blue eye of his Ghost gazed at him from the dirt._

_“I’m sorry,” it said faintly, and flickered out._

_Ger looked up to meet the turret of the Walker as it turned, impossibly slowly, to face him._

_Run fast, little one, he thought grimly, as fire took over._


	2. I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos! I've really fallen in love with Magpie through writing this fic, and I'm hoping you'll all feel the same way.

**FORTY YEARS LATER**

Magpie launched herself over the edge of the cliff. Her hands barely grazed the stone, catching tufts of grass and well-worn ridges. She knew the rock face better than she knew the surface of her own body, every slight undulation in carved by her own fingertips over decades until she could scale it without thought.

Which was just as well. Right now there wasn’t time to think.

A stream of bullets peppered the rock. Her grasp slipped; she lunged furiously for a handhold but her fingers closed around smooth stone. The ground came up fast and she landed harder than she’d intended, stumbling into the undergrowth and throwing herself onto her front.

She was exhausted, she was starving, and it was showing.

She lay still, panting, as yells filtered down from the cliff. Anger exploded in her tired veins, flaring and dying like an exploding star. She couldn’t even hunt these days without running into a pack of Guardians. They danced on her life the way they had danced on the remnants of her village, the bastards.

Her hand went unconsciously to the cloth knotted around her neck. 

_Keep it, kid. Remember we’re not all monsters._ She had wanted to believe.

_Help me help me_

As quickly as it had arrived her anger ebbed away, leaving a vacant, empty space where she suspected her soul might have been. The bleak, washed-out aftermath of a tidal wave. She cycled through grief, resignation, the desire for vengeance, but none of them really touched her any more. Not after forty years. 

Numb and hungry, she flipped onto her back with a heavy sigh and let her eyes drift closed. 

___

The air was warm. She felt heavy, somewhere between sleep and consciousness. The breeze lifted her hair slightly, making her shiver as it hit the sweat on her neck. There was a loud explosion in the distance. Undergrowth crackled around her.

Voices.

In one movement she rolled into a crouch, completely awake, perfectly still in the undergrowth. She held her breath; attuned to every molecule of air, she could almost feel the movements of the forest on the surface of her tongue, racketing through her ears. 

“...secure the perimeter. Kill any you see on sight.”

“Yes, my lord.”

_Kill on sight._

Magpie’s heart started to thump harder in her chest as she

_they’re killing us no please stop_

crept forward with practised precision, testing her steps briefly to make sure they were sound. Her hand went to the knife at her belt, fingertips buzzing above it, ready to go when her adrenaline snapped.

_help me_

She knew Guardians couldn’t die, but they could feel pain. She could be gone before they even knew she was there. She was a Nightcrawler, born with cold wind and colder sunrises in her veins. The Wilds were her home, her beast. 

Fury and venom and fear fought for dominance in her chest. It was always kill on sight with them, the bastards.

_help them they’re killing them ger where are you_

The leaves thrashed in front of her and something grabbed her wrist impossibly tightly; there was a terrific crack and pain shot up her arm, blinding her. She lashed out unthinkingly with her other hand, and her fist connected painfully something hard.

Whatever it was dropped her back into the mud, but before she could scramble to her feed she was hauled up unceremoniously by the scruff of her neck. She roared and lashed out with both legs, until she caught a look at her assailant and promptly dried up inside. 

“Who the hell are you?” He demanded.

He was enormous, well over a full head taller than Magpie with arms the size of her abdomen and thick armour that made him look like a monster. His face was completely obscured by a colossal horned helmet, with one horn snapped off at the base. Bile and acid at the base of her gut as she dangled, helpless as a stuck fish.

They were surrounded by identical, gun-wielding soldiers. Entirely metal. 

“Let me go,” she rasped. To her surprise, he obliged. They stared at each other in silence.

“Why are you here?” He said suspiciously when she didn’t volunteer any information “Only Guardians are to leave the City boundary.”

Magpie swallowed painfully past her dry tongue.

“Go on, then.” She said bitterly. “Put me out of my misery.”

There was a long, tense pause. Magpie stared unflinchingly into the faceless helmet of the Guardian.

“Listen, whoever you are,” he said. “I have authorisation to secure this area for arena use - ”

“Kill me then.” She was shouting now, thumping her chest. “Kill me like you did my parents, my people, you cowards, you bloody awful cowards - “

The Guardian promptly grabbed her by the front of her jacket so forcefully he knocked the breath out of her.

“What are you?” He snarled.

“I’m the last one.” She said bluntly.

"The last one?"

“This is my home. You took everything away from me one night forty summers ago.”

“I’m going to –“

“Oh, catch me and see if I care,” Magpie snapped, and before he or his robot comrades could respond she launched back herself into the undergrowth. Shouts followed her and she swerved from side to side in case they started to shoot, but the voices faded in the wind.

The pain in her wrist eventually brought her to her knees, and she examined it gingerly. Bright purple, swollen, excruciating. She spat on the ground. How was she supposed to hunt with a broken wrist?

She couldn't be bothered to consider it. Slumped against a tree trunk, the heavy splatter of rain began on the leaves above her head. She was hungry, she was tired, she had nowhere to be.

_Mama, are you there?_

It’s your Mag-Pag. I’m lost, Mama. 


	3. II

His bad leg throbbed insistently, he’d failed to get his arena, Cayde-6 wanted to speak to him, and when he returned to the Tower there was a familiar Titan hovering awkwardly next to his desk. All in all, Lord Shaxx was not having a good day.

“What is it?” He said wearily. The Titan – Braco, he thought his name was – jumped. He was paler than radiolarian fluid, and Shaxx was visited by sudden desire to grab him by his shoulder plates and shake him until he got a grip.

“C-Cayde said I should speak to you, Sir.”

“And what exactly does Cayde want?”

“He said I should ask you if you’d train me. One on one.” Braco said quickly, as if he thought this information might be more palatable that way. Shaxx felt his fist clench.

It was easy to visualise Braco in the Crucible. Sweat beading on his pale face, eyes screwed up in anticipation of a bullet. Trembling with fear, frozen in place. He was perpetually leaning to one side, as though he half-expected to be forced to run for his life at any moment. Shaxx knew, rationally, he should be sympathetic to the anxieties of Guardians. It wasn't an easy life. He knew that as well as anyone.

Unfortunately, he wasn't feeling particularly rational.

“You know, Titan,” he said. “When I look at you, and I remember that every punch a Titan throws comes with intention and purpose, a little part of me dies to see you care so little”.

“I - “

“I have people like you who can win wars, Titans who could build all seven columns and shake the pillars to their core. I have tried to train you in combat, the Vanguard have given you opportunities in the field. What use is a Guardian who won’t fight? Who weeps at the first sign of aggression?” 

What little colour was left in Braco’s face drained away. He clearly didn’t think anyone had seen his little performance in Exodus Blue that morning.

“What do you think the Crucible is, Titan?”

“It’s...your arena?”

_His arena. His life’s work. His distraction._

“I’ll tell you what it isn’t,” Shaxx said, pushing those thoughts away. “It’s not a game. It’s not a nursery. It’s war. Nobody’s going to hold your hand in the field. I’m certainly not going to waste my time doing it here.”

There was a long silence.

“I’ve never failed, Guardian,” Shaxx said finally, his voice harsh. “All these years. I’ve taught arrogant Hunters and Warlocks who think too much and I’ve never failed. I’m not about to start now.”

_His revenge. His atonement._

“Do better. Earn it. And you can tell Cayde next time he wants me to pander to someone to ask me himself.” 

Braco almost sprinted out of the hall, stumbling over his own feet as he went. Shaxx could have sworn he heard a strangled sob as he left, and he drove his fist into the desk with a grunt.

He’d never failed. There would never be another Twilight Gap. 

Nobody else would lose what he had lost.

*

_The fire had been burning forever, swallowing up the ground before dying slowly into embers and stray flames. She’d stayed until it was quiet, just like Ger told her, watching wide-eyed until the heat made them dry and scratchy._

_When the only sound and movement was the last of the flames she took a step out into the field. And another._

_She was a Nightcrawler, Mama had reminded her just the other day. No matter how many times the City dwellers spat on them, shunned them, kept them out, the bravest and most noble thing to do was live. To keep going._

_Another step. And another._

_The village was gone. Burned out husks of wood and dirt houses, a funny smell that made her wrinkle her nose. There was nobody there._

_“Mama?” She called out in a wavering voice, and coughed violently as the hot air seared her throat._

_Nobody answered. No hand came round to claim her._

_She padded on. The Matriarch hut was a shell, the market stalls nothing but charred splinters, but it was the totem in the centre of the square that made her whimper with fear. She’d loved to run her fingers along the carved lines and symbols, tracing the faces of the spirits. Now it was blasted away from the base, jagged wood sticking out of the ground like ugly teeth._

_A series of loud bangs made her squeak and she fell to her knees trembling._

_“Mama?”_

_Be brave be brave be brave be_

_She inched around the charred remains of huts and saw the heavy outline of figures through the smoke. She froze._

_Guardians._

_Magpie hesitated. Ger was nowhere to be see, but she recognised the armour of one of his friends. Takaala, was her name? She hadn’t been friendly, but maybe she knew where Ger was…_

_Mind made up, she crept through the smoke, mindful of Takaala’s mood when they’d first met. But the Guardian was laughing now, laughing and waving one of the torches from the crumbled village gate, sparks bursting into the air like fireflies. She was shouting at someone under the shattered wood of the markethouse, and - yes! There were screams and banging noises from underneath. Magpie’s heart leapt in her chest. Someone was in there, alive, she wasn’t alone, they were to be rescued…_

_She started to run towards them, full of hope - maybe Mama was there! - but before she could make her way out of the shadows Takaala threw her head back with a roar of triumph, monstrous in the flickering firelight._

_Magpie watched in horror as she dropped the torch. It thudded down the pyre, bouncing once, twice, before flames roared over the wood. There were no more screams after that._


	4. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely neglected to mention when I posted this that the main setting of this story is between Dark Below and The Taken King.
> 
> Thanks for all of the kudos/comments so far. You fuel me.

_The nights are cold and she can feel the darkness seeping under her skin. Dark dark dark, like the creeping edges of evil that still hold most of Earth._

_She prays for death, but in the same breath rejects it. Hope is gone. Spite and stubborness fuel her. Nightcrawler she may be, but she cannot accept that the same darkness that spawns the Fallen flows through her veins. She’s as human as most of the Guardians. Or at least as human as they used to be._

_The Matriarchs used to sing songs of their origin, of the way the Guardians had turned them aside in the early, ancient days, of how their Ghosts had corrupted the moment they saw them. All a story, she knows now. Ger has shown her that much. That knowledge doesn't help her. She doesn’t know where she came from, she doesn’t know where she’s going._

_Death beckons her, and she grits her teeth against it. She loathes her life, but she loathes the Darkness more. It's a battle she fights when her limbs hurt and her soul aches and she wonders what the point is. She will endure. For Mama, for her people, for Ger, her fleeting friend_

Magpie came to with sweat running down her back. She could still hear the screams as the wood crackled, the smell of the desecrated village. It'd been a long time since she'd dreamed of it.

She hadn’t meant to fall asleep. The burnt orange of sunset dappled light through the trees and the night stretched out in front of her, dark and all-consuming. Her wrist felt tight and unnatural as she shifted uncomfortably in the leaves.

It was only spite that got her onto her feet. The burning desire to live just because she already was. Her only victory, bitter and boring and frankly _exhausting_ as it was. She lived for her people, more than herself.

Her head spinning in time with her throbbing arm, Magpie gingerly picked her way through the undergrowth towards the cliff. She couldn’t hunt like this, not when she needed two hands for the bow. How long did it take a broken bone to heal? She thought longingly of rabbit, or deer. Stalked, hunted, roasted over an open fire, tender and 

_Fire. Smoke. Death. Gunshots. Laughter on the wind, screams, words in Atraxis floating on the wind towards her. Help me help me they’re killing us no please stop_  
Her head hit the ground before she even realised her legs had given way and lights popped in front of her eyes as the world turned on its axis.

Bloody Guardians she thought hazily, and then yelped as a searing heat blasted through the still evening air, burning her hands and tightening her skin.

It was happening again. That big bastard from earlier must have come back for her. Shit shit shit.

Exhaustion forgotten, Magpie bolted, launching herself at the cliff with a moan as she instinctively grabbed the rock with both hands. She knew the rock face, but she knew it two-handed, and she was slow and ungainly as she as good as lept her way up.

She managed to force herself over the cliff edge, landing on her bad wrist in the middle of a thorn bush. She bit her lip until she could taste blood and scrambled to her feet, not stopping to pull out the thorns that tore at her skin.

She looked out over the Wilds and her legs promptly gave way, landing her back into the thorns.

_An enormous metal creature, monsters spilling out into the huge hole it had made in the dirt, the village destroyed, Mama gone, fire raging, making a  
terrible grinding noise as it fired a rocket shot into the sky. The Fallen roared, a sea of noise and banners._

It was only when she looked for the inevitable onslaught of Guardian ships streaming from the City like locusts that she realised the Fallen weren’t facing the City.  
They were facing the open Wilds. And her. And the Alaris.

Magpie muttered a word Mama would have thumped her for, heart thumping in her chest. The fear flushed through her, making her lightheaded.

The Alaris...they wouldn’t be any match for a full Fallen assault, and she doubted the stubborn old coots would listen to a Nightcrawler. But she had to try. They were the last of the old tribes, the old way.

Gritting her teeth against the pain that vined through her wrist every time her feet hit the ground, she took off without looking back. She’d deliberately adopted the land on the outskirts of the main Alaris settlement, thinking it might be prudent in the event of another attack, and she was thankful for it now. Her lungs screamed and she could taste the rawness in her throat. When the village boundary appeared as a pinprick of flame on the horizon she could have sworn hours had passed before it seemed to get any bigger.

Out of desperation she began to holler, the strain cracking in her voice. By the time the guards came into view she could tell by the blades in their hands that it had worked, although she didn’t find it particularly encouraging.

“Back where you came from, Nightcrawler.” One of the guards spat at her.

“Put…them down,” she wheezed, holding her hands up. “Does…does it look like I’m here to f…fight?”

“I don’t care what you’re here for,” the other sneered. “We’ve been ordered to kill on sight. You’re lucky we’re both feeling merciful today.”

Kill on sight. It was always kill on sight with everyone, as though her very presence was toxic. The familiar burst of resenment started to kindle in her chest. I should just leave you, you bastards, you can sort out your own lives, like I had to sort out mine

“There’s…Fallen army…advancing.” Magpie panted, hands on her thighs as she gulped down air. “You need to mobilise. Barricade. Maybe evacuate.”

“Sure, so you can some come in and raid us?” The bigger one snorted. “Do we look like we came down in the winter, Nightcrawler?”

“I’m not – I don’t care about your supplies – “

“Sure you don’t, you’re skinnier than an old maid and meaner than an alley cat.” 

“They’ve got an army, you stupid – “

“You come one step closer to us, freak, and I'll cut you down where you stand."

In the middle distance a cloud of birds took flight. There wasn’t time. She jogged back a few paces.

“Alaris!” She roared. “Your village is about to be under Fallen attack. Ready your weapons if you’re brave or stupid, but get your families and – “

The punch caught Magpie by surprise; for a second all she was aware of was the low that knocked her to the ground and the pressure between her shoulder blades. She opened her mouth to tell the guards how idiotic they were, but her throat was full of liquid; she coughed and painted the ground scarlet. Something sticky was rolling down her back. Above her, the furious guard’s face swam in and out of focus, the scarlet spear end angry in the sunlight.

“The only good Nightcrawler is a dead Nightcrawler,” he said, and spat in front of her.

Magpie felt her head drop, but the impact felt like it was happening to someone else. _I’ve lost_ she thought simply as the world narrowed, and everything slipped out of her grasp.


	5. IV

_Scanning_

_Data_

_Data.fail_

_Scanning_

_Scanning_

_Data_

_Data.fail_

_Scanning_

_Data - wait_

_data.data.data-female.human.????._

_“Guardian? Guardian! Eyes up, Guardian! Wake...”_

*

“...up...Wake up!”

Her insides lurched. Searing pain was splitting her head open. She rolled over onto her front and vomited with a groan, bile and spit burning her throat.

And she could have sworn someone was talking to her.

Stomach churning, she let her head thud back onto the ground. The dirt was hot and the air smelled like death

_mama_

and explosions rattled in the distance. Her ears felt like they were packed full with water. God her head hurt.

Weakly, she cracked an eye open and yelped as a piercing blue light dazzled her. 

“Sorry,” said a hurried voice in her ear. “But you need to get up. It’s not safe here.”

“Go ‘way.” She mumbled.

“But – we need to go!”

Magpie shrugged her shoulders ineffably, and then froze.

Her shoulders. A shiver ran up her neck. Her shoulders, something to do with her shoulders

_the blow that knocked her to the ground and the pressure between her shoulder blades_

_her throat was full of liquid_

_something sticky was rolling down her back_

Magpie opened her eyes and rolled onto her knees, numb to the roiling of her stomach.

There was nothing left. The ground was scorched as far as she could see. The Alaris village had disappeared.

“Where am I?” she said. “Where the village?”

_And who the hell am I talking to?_

“Gone,” the strange mechanical voice said sadly. Magpie looked over her shoulder and found herself looking at a little grey box about the size of her fist with a bright blue

_light peering over Ger’s shoulder, strange and artificial against the fire and fury_

“Guardians,” she spat, scrambling to her feet in spite of her spinning head. “Always the Guardians. Did you burn this village down too? Huh?”

The little box managed to look confused. 

“You can’t - “

“Do not tell me what I can and can’t do,” Magpie hissed, snatching it out of the air. “I’ve just woken up after drowning in my own blood, the entire Alaris village has disappeared and now I’ve got a Guardian on my ass. I’ll do what I want.”

“Okay look. “The box said urgently. “I’m supposed to tell you that you’re a Guardian of the last City, and I’m a Ghost – your Ghost – but...I don’t understand. Something’s gone wrong.”

“You’re cracked.” Magpie said bluntly. “My Ghost?”

“I wouldn’t have been able to bring you back if you weren’t.”

“Bring me back from where?”

“You were dead,” the Ghost said nervously, whizzing around her head. “I don’t understand – you were dead, and I brought you back. But you shouldn’t remember.”

Magpie could tell her jaw was hanging slackly as she listened, but she didn’t care.

“This is mad,” she said faintly. “This is messed up. Is this like when your life flashes before you when you die? Was mine so miserable that I get a weird dream instead?”

There was a loud bang nearby. Magpie jumped.

“I’m sorry,” the Ghost said. “But I have to do this. You’ll thank me later.”

“Do - ” 

Her breath was ripped from her by a strange weightless sensation. Every atom in her body seemed to float apart from itself; Magpie opened her mouth to cry out but her mouth was everywhere and nowhere at once.

And then with an unpleasant popping sound everything flew back together and her legs crumpled beneath her. She hit solid ground with a rather undignified grump, and briefly wondered if she was going to be sick again.

“Are you alright?” a voice said, concerned, somewhere around her left ear. “A transmat can be quite uncomfortable if you've never experienced it before.”

“Transmat?” she gasped, mouth against the ground.

“Matter transport technology. Developed by the City in the Golden Age to transport objects around the solar system.”

Magpie opened her eyes.

Crowds of people mingled with the occasional Guardian, chatter and noise and smells rising in the air. Streets made of brick snaked away, with flags and fabrics hanging from the windows. Everything surged with purpose, and the air was hot and pungent.

“We’re in the City Core.” The voice carried on, when she didn’t ask. “Just outside the Consensus. It’s as far as I could get us, but we’re safe here - ”

Instinct kicked in. She shot into a gap between two buildings, sprawling next to a pile of fabrics. She retched as the dust and smell of state sweat cloyed at the back of her throat and groaned, sweating.

“Is…everything alright?” Ghost asked. Magpie snatched it out of the 

“Why did you bring me here?” She whispered furiously. “Are you mad? They’ll kill me!”

The Ghost cocked its head to one side. How was it doing that? It didn’t have a head. Was it a head?

“Who?”

“These people - “

She froze as she gestured out at the streets. With her bad wrist.

“Oh. Simple fracture. Didn’t take much to fix.” Ghost said proudly.

Magpie just stared, flexing her fingers. She wasn’t hungry anymore. Her muscles had never felt so good.

“Listen,” it said, in a gentle mechanical voice. “I know there’s a lot you don’t understand. It can’t be easy to be resurrected – “

“You don’t know a thing about me,” she said without looking up. “I’m a Nightcrawler. We were shunned by the Light and forced to live outside the walls. The Guardians burned my village.” She looked up fiercely. “I can’t be one of them. You’re wrong.”

There was a long silence.

“Look” Ghost said eventually. “Let’s go to the Tower. If I’m wrong, I’ll take you home and let you live your life in peace. Deal?”

_Home._

Home was scorched grounds and razed buildings. There was no home any more.

“You OK?”

The voice cut through her haze of misery. Guardians. Two of them, blocking her exit. She was trapped.

Instinctively, she backed away until her back hit the brick wall.

“Oh, cool!” The one with the cape descended on her, his face bright. “New meat!”

“Shut up, Nav,” said his companion, robed and elegant looking. She elbowed him out of the way. 

“I’m Kerryn,” she said. “This idiot is Nav.”

"This is - " Ghost trailed off, looking at her uncertainly.

"Magpie."

Her voice sounded strange, and too loud. And now they knew her name. She wanted to grab it out of the air and reclaim it.

“We need to get to the Tower.” Ghost said after a slightly awkward silence. “I don’t suppose you could give us a lift?”

Kerryn shrugged. “We’re just about to head back to the ship." She gestured to her own Ghost, hovering over her shoulder. Magpie swallowed audibly, and Nav grinned.

“First transmat’s rough, right? I remember my first time, I – “

“Nav, if she really wants the story of how you passed out on the War Table, I’m sure we can tell it later.”

"It's a good one," he said conspiratorially.

And in spite of herself, her fear and confusion, Magpie smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos. Magpie's gonna be meeting some of our favourite Tower friends in the next few chapters...as well as some new ones.


	6. V

Magpie had known fear, had known it deep in her bones, but she didn’t think she’d ever been as frightened as she was facing the Vanguard and their Ghosts. Bigger and more ornate looking than her own – _when had she started to think of this annoying little tin box as hers?_ \- they circled around her, flashing blue light in her eyes and making her recoil.

“It can’t be possible."

The purple-robed woman at the bottom of the table - Ikora Rey - stared at her unblinkingly.

_They know they know they know they know_

“No,” said the blue-skinned one said. Commander Zavala, she remembered, the head of the Vanguard, his armour making up for his slight height. “But she has a Ghost. How?”

_They know I’m a Nightcrawler_

“How can a Guardian have no Light?” Ikora interrupted. “None at all? What does this mean?”

Magpie froze in the process of chewing the skin away from the side of her fingernail. She dropped her arms to her sides as all three Vanguard members stared at her. Ironically, it was – _what had he said his name was, Cayde?_ \- who made her feel most at ease, despite the shock she’d at coming face to face with a man made of metal. They didn’t have those in the Wilds. The Matriarchs would have fainted.

“She was definitely dead when you found her?” Ikora said thoughfully, addressing Ghost. Magpie felt irritation prickle at her skin; the last thing she’d wanted to do was face them, but now that she was the fact that they were talking about her as though she wasn’t there was beginning to rile her.

“Of course,” Ghost said, sounding injured. “She - “

“Magpie,” she bit out before she could stop herself. Three heads and four Ghosts turned to her in surprise.

“I’m sorry?”

“My name is Magpie Silvestry.”

“How do you know that?” Cayde said, surprised.

“What do you mean how do I know that? It’s my name.”

“Since when?”

“Since I was born?”

Zavala’s eyebrow was almost comically high. Magpie stared around the table nonplussed.

“How did you die?” Ikora said finally. “Do you remember?”

Magpie instinctively moved a hand to her shoulder blades. There was no pain, but the large slash in the back of her tunic was evidence enough.  
“Stabbed by an Alaris guard.” She said. “In the back. The cowards. I – oh.” She said suddenly. “I’m not supposed to know that, am I?”

“How unusual.” Ikora murmured. There was a long and rather awkward silence.

“No light and perfect recall.” Zavala said finally. “How - “

“Well,” Cayde said lazily. “Maybe all it needs is a helping hand cannon.”He pulled his gun from its holster and tossed it to her. She caught it my the tips of her fingers and immediately dropped it onto the table, cringing.

“It’s not gonna bite ya,” Cayde said. “You’re gonna want to learn how to use this. Trust me.”

Her fingers curled around the grip and she hovered one experimentally over the trigger. Disgust curled inside her. 

“Make sure you don’t get excited and shoot Zavala by mistake,” Cayde said. “It was funny the first couple of times, but…”

“What am I shooting, then?” She said, trying to hold her voice steady.

“Uh…” Cayde rooted around under the table before bringing up a box of ammunition and emptying it noisily onto the table. Zavala gave him a disparaging look.

“Shoot that,” he said, holding it at arm’s length. Magpie narrowed her eyes.

Magpie’s jaw dropped.

“I can’t - “

“Why not?”

“I don’t know how to shoot.” She said bluntly. She felt suddenly self-conscious. “Why do I need to know how to use a gun? I have a bow. And you don’t think I’m one of you anyway.”

It was the most she’d said since she arrived in the Tower, but the Vanguard looks distinctly unmoved.

“Point and pull,” Cayde said, his eyes narrowing in a way that make Magpie think he was smiling. “Humour me.”

Dry mouthed, Magpie looked at the gun. It was heavy and cold, a million miles away from the flexing string of the bow, so like the muscles in her arms. She ran her thumb along the barrel, tracing the thick metal. The grip was well worn and the paint was starting to chip away.

“Point and pull,” she repeated, trying to keep the tremble out of her voice.

“Exactly."

With a deep breath, she clasped both hands around the gun and raised it. Straight as an arrow. She could do this. Finger curled around the trigger. Face screwed up against the explosion of metal as the bullet careered out.

Before she could pull back, there was an ear-splitting crack and everything ended.

*

Magpie gasped into completely empty lungs, nearly rising from the floor with the force. Her Ghost popped into her line of vision.

“Are you OK?”

She coughed ino response, sending dust from under the table into the air.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Zavala barked from somewhere above her. “You could have killed her - “

“But I didn’t.” Cayde said calmly. “Because she’d a Guardian.”

There was a ringing silence. Eventually Cayde held out a hand and hauled her to her feetl. She gripped the edge of the table, knees trembling.

“No discernable Light, but enough to be resurrected.” Ikora said thoughtfully. “No combat skill...but that could be amended with the proper training.”

“I’ll do it,” Cayde said immediately.

“You will not.” Zavala's response was just as swift. “We need you here.”

“You’re really going to have someone else teach her how to be a Hunter?”

“That’s not – what on Earth makes you think she’s a Hunter?”

“C’mon, Zavala, you’re telling me you can’t spot your Titans a mile off? I’m telling you, she’s - “

“Can we put her in a Fireteam?” Ikora interrupted. “Have her mentored by another Guardian?”

“Our resources are stretched as it is.” Zavala retorted. “Having a Guardian who can't even fire a gun in the field would be disastrous.”

They’d forgotten she was there again. Magpie was about to loudly remind them when Cayde leaned over the table.

“So what you're sayin'”, he said slowly. “Is that we need a great, big, nasty-free area, and a Guardian who ain't got nothin' better to do than stand around and look busy?”

“Cayde, for the last time - “

“I'm not talkin' about me.” Cayde said bluntly, before turning to gaze pointedly out into the hallway. There was an unoccupied desk, candlelit, tucked into the side. She could just about make out a symbol scratched into the dark wood.

“Shaxx?” said Zavala incredulously, but Ikora looked thoughtful.

“You know, Cayde, that isn’t a bad idea.”

“Sometimes I have 'em.”

“Who's Shaxx?” Magpie murmured to Ghost, but the Vanguard rounded on her again.

“Take a day to acclimatise to being here.” Zavala said. “Your training with Lord Shaxx will begin the day after tomorrow. Cayde, show... _Magpie_ to her quarters.”

Something about the way he chewed her name out made Magpie uneasy, but she didn't have time to dwell on it before Cayde slung an arm over her shoulders.

“C’mon, rookie,” he said with a theatrical bow. “Your castle awaits.”


	7. VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for tuning in! Fun fact: every time I get a kudos or comment I react the way Shaxx does when you knock out someone's super with your own super. Gets you a lot of odd looks on the train.

Cayde was talking about guns, patrols, and ramen bars - whatever those were – and didn’t seem to expect her to say anything, which suited Magpie just fine. She'd always imagined the Tower to be like a barracks, grey and barren and uniform, so she was more than a little surprised to see stalls dotted around the sun-drenched square, deep green grass carpeting the little ground that wasn’t stone. 

“Don’t say much, do you?”

Magpie jumped and then shrugged half-heartedly.

“Listen, don't worry about Zavala,” Cayde said kindly. “He’s straighter than a gun barrel, but he'll see you right. Probably too busy trying to work out what's wrong with you to-”

“Wrong with me?” Magpie said loudly, causing a group of Guardians nearby to look over in surprise. “There’s nothing wrong with me, thank you very much. It’s – I’m - “

“Whoa, spark jolt.” Cayde said, half laughing, holding up his hands. “I believe you. You’re a curiosity. We like curiosities. Don’t worry about it.”

Magpie didn’t find this as comforting as she’d have liked.

“Guardian apartments,” Cayde added, gesturing vaguely towards the wall. “Your Ghost should have picked up where yours is. Right?”

“Affirmative.”

“Excellent. Get settled, make friends. I’ll see if I can get you set up with Shaxx tomorrow, break the ice a bit.”

Before Magpie could ask him anything about Lord Shaxx he'd turned on his heel with a flourish and wandered off across the plaza, whistling.

“How does he do that when his mouth is made of metal?” Magpie asked.

“ _That’s_ what you’re thinking right now?”

“Yes. No.” Magpie dug the heels of her hands into her eyes and groaned. "Where do we go now?"

"Apartments. Through that door."

 _That door_ was a round, innocuous looking plate set into one of the walls. There was no handle, just a frosted glass circle in the centre.

"Open it, then." Ghost said, as if she was an infant.

"How, exactly? Do you see a handle?"

“Press it.”

Magpie jumped and whipped round. It was only sheer exhaustion that stopped her from throwing a punch.

“Don’t do that,” she said hoarsely as her heart hammered off the inside of her ribs.

The Guardian held her hands up in surrender. “Sorry. We met earlier, remember? In the City.”

Oh. So they had.

“Kerryn?” Magpie said tentatively.

“That’s the one. If you want to get in you have to press it.”

Tentatively Magpie reached out and touched the circle with the tip of one finger. The door made a whirring, grinding noise and slid away, leaving Magpie looking into a long passage like by artificial blue light. She screwed her eyes up against it.

“You know where your room is?” Kerryn asked. The bridge of her nose was wrinkled in concern. Magpie suddenly felt a rush of warm gratitude that took her by surprise.

It reminded her of Ger.

“ _It_ does,” she said, nodding her head at her Ghost. It managed to somehow look affronted, presumably at being called an “it”. What was she supposed to call it though?

“Remember what Cayde said about making friends?” Ghost hissed in her ear.

“Thank you,” Magpie added. Kerryn gave her a tentative smile and hurried down the hall.

“She probably thinks I’m cracked.” Magpie muttered.

"Maybe don't swing for everyone who tries to talk to you," Ghost offered helpfully, soaring out of the way of her fist and down the hallway.

*

The room was spartan: white, pristine, completely devoid of any sort of personality.

"I've never had a bed before," Magpie said hoarsely. She’d washed and changed into a similarly pristine ‘sleepsuit’ (according to Ghost), and her body felt entirely too light without her skins, but the annoying little robot had threatened her with all sorts until she changed. They sat in awkward silence for several long moments.

“Get some sleep,” Ghost finally said. “It’s been a long day.”

Magpie felt a bubble of hysterical laughter in her chest at the sheer understatement.

"What if I wake up tomorrow and this was a dream?"

“If it’s a dream, I’m having it too.” Ghost said cheerfully.

“Can you dream?"

“If you’d let me go to sleep, I’ll tell you.” 

“Can you even go to sleep?”

“If you let me try,” Ghost said patiently as she buried her face in the pillow. “I’ll tell you.”

*

“You want me to do _what_?”

Shaxx slammed a fist onto the war table, sending a pile of bullets scattering onto the floor.

“Have you lost your minds?” He roared. Ikora raised an eyebrow, but Zavala’s face remained impassive. 

“Not at all.” He said calmly. “You are the most qualified of any of us.”

“And the most available,” Cayde said breezily.

Shaxx fixed him with a glare that would have crumbled most people, helmet or not. As usual, Cayde remained infuriatingly unruffled.

“You want me to take this creature who can’t hold a gun and has no Light and make her a Guardian?” Shaxx barked. He examined Zavala’s face for any sign that he was misinterpreting what the Commander was saying. There was none.

“And who, exactly,” Shaxx said carefully, trying to push down his fury, “is going to be officiating the Crucible while I am doing this? Are we to sacrifice the training of all Guardians for someone who may or may not be – “

“We’re still goin’ over this?” Cayde interrupted. “She has a Ghost. So she’s a bit slow, big deal – “

“ _Big deal_?” Shaxx barked, rounding on the Hunter. “The Light is what makes us Guardians! Is the best course of action for this – this – unknown to start training her for active combat? She could be anything! She – “

“She has made her way to us, Shaxx,” Zavala said with an air of crushing finality. “Is it not in our nature as Guardians to meet the unexpected head on?”

Shaxx felt his fists curl. Zavala’s face was impassive, and he knew the Commander was just as immovable as he was. Titans, he thought grimly.

“What am I to do with this…outsider?” Shaxx said finally.

“Teach her to shoot, to fight. See if she’ll come into the Light over time.” 

“And if she doesn’t?” Shaxx almost spat.

“Then we will reconsider,” Zavala said evenly. “But as it stands, we can’t afford turn away another Guardian.”

“You’ve always said you wanted to get back into the fight,” Cayde said with a shrug. “This is…kind of the same thing. Right?”

It wasn’t, and they both knew it. Every inch of Shaxx bristled under his armour. 

“What of the Crucible?” he said again. 

“It will not be a full time task for you,” Ikora said before Zavala could speak. “Your duties in the Crucible will not suffer.” She smiled. “I promise.”

Shaxx shifted his weight to his bad leg, revelling in the pain that vined itself around his muscles. A reminder. His penance.

“No,” he said harshly. “They won’t.”

Before the Vanguard could say anything more he stalked out of the hall into the night.


	8. VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your love fuels me.

It was quiet. Too quiet.

Something was wrong.

Without opening her eyes Magpie rolled and moved to kick herself upright, reaching for her knife. She yelped in surprise as she tumbled onto the floor with a thud, and then hissed in pain as something sharp dug into her back.

“Ow,” Ghost said mildly as she pulled it out from underneath her.

“What do you mean, ‘ow’? You’re made of metal.” She said mutinously, massaging the bottom of her spine.

“Yes, well. I’m glad you’re awake. We’ve got lots to do today. I’ve been poking you in the face for ages.”

“Lots to – that was you?” Magpie said. “I forgot I was here, I thought I’d fallen asleep in the grass. Kept trying to knock it out of the way.”

“I won’t take it personally.” Ghost said mildly. “Up you get. There’s a new set of armour in the closet.”

“What’s wrong with my old armour?”

“If you want to be a Guardian, you have to dress like a Guardian.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be a Guardian.” Magpie muttered as she tossed the covers back onto the bed. Ghost pretended not to hear.

*

It took some wandering in the labyrinthian tunnels inside the Tower – “I didn’t think it would be this _big_ ,” Ghost lamented after they passed the same sweeping robot for the third time – but eventually they managed to find the dining hall.

In a way, it reminded Magpie of mealtimes in the village, where everyone would spread out across wide wooden tables and eat whatever the boys had caught, stewed with vegetables. She couldn’t place anything she saw on the plates here, and it looked like - 

“Hey, rookie!”

Magpie cringed as every single head in the room turned towards her. From the opposite corner she could see Nav gesturing wildly towards the empty seat next to him. 

Burning, Magpie slunk across the hall and dropped into it. 

“You survived the Vanguard, I see.” Kerryn said with a grin.

“Yeah,” Magpie replied. “They’re…intimidating.”

“See?” a tiny Guardian Magpie hadn’t met piped up. “I _told_ you it’s not just me who thinks that!”

“You think everyone’s intimidating, Braco.” Nav said, flicking a bit of cheese at him. 

“Cayde’s not so bad,” Magpie said. “He seemed quite laid back. Said he thought I was...a Hunter. Whatever that means.”

“Like me,” Nav said with his mouth full of bread.

“Which I’m sure is a really appealing prospect right now.” Kerryn added sarcastically.

“Wait – what do you mean he _thought_ you were a Hunter?” Braco said, looking confused. “How can he not know?”

Magpie shrugged. “I’m guessing you need to have ‘the Light’. I don’t.”

This announcement was met, as she’d expected, with resounding silence. Even Nav looked lost for words, and Magpie was beginning to suspect that didn’t happen often.

“But – you’re a Guardian,” he managed to force out eventually. “Of course you do. Otherwise you wouldn’t have a Ghost.”

“That’s what Cayde said.” Magpie said gloomily. “The other two didn’t seem convinced.”

“I think he’s right,” Nav said cheerfully. “You look like a Hunter. You've got the armour."

Magpie looked down at what she was wearing. It was stretchy and bland, and felt strange after years of wearing skins, but she'd poked at it experimentally with her knife and hadn't even marked it.

"They'll have given you that because it's lightweight and easy to move in," Braco said helpfully. "And the Warlocks can be real funny about who gets to wear robes."

“I don’t understand - “

“It’s alright. We’ll fill you in later. All you have to know is that Warlocks are pretentious, Titans are too sensible for their own good, and Hunters are efficient and fun. The whole package.” Nav winked.

Kerryn’s expression was long-suffering. “Ignore him. Are you hungry? Have you had a look round the Tower yet?”

“Yes, and no.”

“Right,” Kerryn said brusquely. “Go and get something from the counter – doesn’t matter what – and then we’ll show you around.”

*  
Two hours later, Magpie had eaten more than she’d ever had in one sitting before, seen every single crevice of the Tower, and had the intricacies of Guardian classes explained until her head began to spin. She found herself secretly hoping she _was_ a Hunter, if it came down to it; the other two sounded rather intimidating.

“Cayde’s kind of cute,” Nav said as they strolled along the front of the Plaza. “What?” he added, injured, as three pairs of eyes turned on him. “Don’t be so anti-Exo. You know you’d have a great time if you went on a date with Cayde.”

“He’s made of metal.” Magpie said warily.

“So?”  
“Well, how do you suppose he – “

“ _A-nyway_ ,” Kerryn said loudly as Nav and Braco both snorted. “Can we get back to business for a moment? What’ll we do now?”

“Let’s introduce her to Shaxx,” Nav said with a grin that was a little too gleeful. 

“What aren’t you telling me?” Magpie asked suspiciously, at the same moment as Braco said “I’ll stay here.”

“Nothing,” Kerryn said, with a sharp look at Nav. “And yourself together, Braco. What do you think he’s going to do to you?”

“Shout at me,” Braco almost whispered. His face was milk white and he began to chew on his thumbnail. Magpie raised her eyebrows.

“That’s comforting.”

“C’mon." Nav said breezily. "It’ll be less of a shock tomorrow if you get acquainted now.

“Why would it be a shock?” Magpie said, alarmed, but Nav was already striding off across the Plaza, Braco trailing reluctantly after him. Kerryn rolled her eyes.

“You'll see,” she said cryptically. Magpie wasn't encouraged.

*

There was nobody at the dark wooden desk when they reached it. Magpie was deeply relieved, especially as she took in the selection of skulls mounted on the wall. She hadn’t noticed _those_ the previous evening.

“Now what?” She asked.

“Shaxx never goes far,” Nav said with a grin. “Not if it means leaving the Crucible. He’s obsessed.”

Before Magpie could ask what on earth the Crucible was, a sharp voice cut through the ambient silence.

“…couldn’t even hit a Dreg from point blank range, honestly, no wonder Shaxx is ready to explode by the time he’s done in the Crucible, he’s next to useless.”  
Braco flinched so violently he stood on Magpie’s foot. She grunted, which was enough to attract the attention of the Titan who'd been speaking and her Hunter companion.

“Oh,” the Titan said when she noticed Braco. “You're here.”

“Gianna,” Braco said in a small voice. “I’m – “

“Sorry, yeah, we know.” Gianna said sharply. “I’m going to talk to Zavala. We’re all going to end up dead if we’ve got to be watching out for you as well. And what are _you_ looking at?” She rounded on Magpie suddenly.

“Trying to work out who the hell you think you are,” Magpie said without thinking.

She immediately gathered from the faces of Braco and Gianna’s Hunter friend that this was entirely the wrong thing to say.

Gianna’s expression dropped for only a second.

“No need you ask who you are,” she sneered. “The ridiculous civilian armour gave it away. You're the Guardian who can’t do shit. Can’t fire a gun, can’t use the Light. The only thing she can do is die.” She smirked at her friend. “On the plus side, she might end up making Braco look useful.”

The Hunter chuckled nastily.

_the torch thudded down the pyre, bouncing once, twice, before flames roared over the wood_

Braco's lip began to twitch.

_Takaala had let out a roar of triumph_

Magpie's fist connected with Gianna's jaw.

There was a brief moment of theatrical silence before the Titan slammed into her, forcing the air out of her lungs. Gasping for breath, Magpie struck out with arms and legs, grimacing against the pain in her knuckles and wrists as she made contact again and again.

_the guardian who can’t do shit_

There was a roar behind her and suddenly she was upright with a sharp tug on the scruff of the neck, holding her almost off the ground. Indignantly she reared back to size up her assailant, fists ready for the fight.

She immediately wished she hadn't.

The word Titan didn’t do this one justice. Well over a full head taller than Magpie with arms the size of her abdomen and monstrous armour. 

Face completely obscured by a colossal horned helmet. With one horn snapped off at the base.

_It couldn't be._

__“What insolence is this?” He barked. His voice rang off the walls._ _

__“Lord Shaxx,” Gianna said breathlessly through a swollen lip. “This – this _animal_ – has just set upon me for not reason at all -_ _

__Lord Shaxx._ _

__Oh._ _

__“Gianna provoked her!” Nav burst out. “She said – “_ _

__“I don’t care what she said!” Shaxx barked. “Do you think this is a playground? Do you think we’re going to be able to push back the Darkness if we start scrapping among ourselves like curs because someone _said something?_ ”_ _

__Nobody answered. Magpie was dimly pleased to see the trickle of blood still coming from Gianna’s nose._ _

__“Go!” Shaxx roared. “And if I catch you behaving like this again, I’ll show you exactly what happens when you don’t watch your back.”_ _

__Gianna gave Magpie a dark look, and stalked off, Hunter friend in tow. Braco crept after them._ _

__“Well?” Shaxx barked when Magpie made no move to follow. “What are you waiting -”_ _

__He stopped abruptly. Even with the helmet on, Magpie could feel his eyes burning into her._ _

__“ _You?_ ” He said incredulously._ _

__“You’ve met?” Kerryn hissed in Magpie's ear._ _

__“What are you doing here?” Shaxx demanded. His eyes settled – at least Magpie assumed they did – on the Ghost hovering nervously above her shoulder._ _

__“No.” He said simply._ _

__“Yep.” Cayde appeared out of nowhere, thumping a fist on Shaxx's colossal back and making them all jump. “This is Magpie. I hope you’re as good at teaching as you are at shouting, buddy.”_ _

__Shaxx stared at her wordlessly at Cayde for several long seconds. Magpie had the feeling he was expecting a punchline._ _

__“This is who you've got for me? Who you want me to teach something that cannot be taught?”_ _

__“That’s about the shape of it.” Cayde said cheerfully. “I thought I'd come and introduce you, but I can see you're already…acquainted.”_ _

__He looked curiously at Magpie, and she realised she probably looked a sight after brawling in the hall._ _

__“Try to leave her intact,” he said to Shaxx, before winking at them and disappearing to rejoin the Vanguard. Magpie didn’t find this particularly reassuring._ _

__His exit prompted a long, excruciating silence. Eventually Shaxx snorted._ _

__“So. You can’t use a weapon, can’t use the Light, and they want me to teach you to fight. Correct?”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“And they call you Magpie?” He snorted again. “Clever birds. I would have expected more from someone named for them. Fortunately you've set the bar extremely low already.”_ _

__Magpie felt her cheeks flame. She wasn't sure if it was from anger or humiliation._ _

__“Meet me at the hangar at dawn,” he said abruptly. “Don’t make me wait.”_ _

__He strode out of the room without looking back at them._ _

__“Don’t worry about him,” Kerryn said kindly once Shaxx was out of earshot. “He’s like that with everyone at first but he’ll soften up as soon as he can see you can shoot in a straight line and you’re not a total moron.”_ _

__“For all we know I might be.” Magpie said flatly._ _

__“Nah, you’ll be alright,” Nav said cheerfully. “Honestly, Braco’s our friend and we love him but he is a bit useless – “_ _

__“Nav!”_ _

__“Well he is!” Nav said indignantly. “He’s the reason we’re stuck here, isn’t it?”_ _

__Kerryn crossed her arms, but said nothing._ _

__“Anyway, I can tell by looking at Magpie - “ he clapped her on the back and she coughed - “she’s at least got a bit of enthusiasm, which is half the battle. They’ll be arm wrestling in Exodus Blue before we know it.”_ _

__Magpie didn’t believe a word he was saying, but she couldn’t help but grin._ _


	9. VII

“So you can remember growing up _out there?_ ” Nav said incredulously.

They'd found Braco and headed back out to the City, to a bar called The Silver – where, as Nav told her on the way, the food was good, the drink was better, and you didn't have to deal with the ever-present threat of a Titan brawl like the Blustery Brew.

The last point in particular was a selling point for Magpie. She sniffed the contents of the little metal cup he'd handed her. It smelled like a damp fire, peaty and smoky.

“I grew up in the Wilds,” She said before taking an experimental sip of her drink. It burned her throat and lingered at the base of her tongue. She briefly wondered if she was going to be sick.

“Give it a minute,” Kerryn said when she was her expression. Magpie nodded mutely.

“What about your family?” Braco asked.

“They're dead.”

“All of them?”

Kerryn and Nav looked sharply at Braco. He withered.

“It’s OK,” Magpie said hurriedly. “I was a long time ago. And I was young.”

This seemed to do nothing to dissuade their horror. She took another sip from the cup, running her tongue over her teeth. 

It wasn't as unpleasant as she'd first thought. Like wringing out a damp, burned-out tree. It reminded her of the smell of rain in the spring, waking up to the embers of the previous night’s fire.

“What’s it like out there?” Nav said eventually. “To live, I mean.”

Magpie's face lit up.

“Wild. Unforgiving. You need to be quick with a blade and even quicker with your wits. Or...” she dropped her voice conspiratorially, and felt a thrill of delight as all three of them leaned in towards her. “You need to be quiet and a sharp shot.”

She picked up her cup and was disappointed to find it was empty. Nav took it out of her hands with an expression that looked like pride, and disappeared with it.

Kerryn shook her head slowly.

“What is it?”

“I think we’ve got as much to learn about you as you do about us,” she said with a grin.

“I...wait, why?” She said in alarm. “I'm not that interesting.”

“Sure you are.” Nav thrust a full cup over her shoulder, making her jump. “You’re the only Guardian who knows what it’s like to not be a Guardian.”

“I suppose,” Magpie said. She didn’t feel like bringing up the question of whether she actually was a Guardian or not.

“But you can ask us anything as well,” Kerryn pointed out as Nav slipped back in beside her.

“What do you mean? What about?”

“Anything you like,” Braco said enthusiastically. “About being a Guardian, that is. I’m not sure we much about anything else.”

Kerryn snorted. “Speak for yourself, Titan.”

Magpie considered the offer while they bickered. Anything. She could ask them about fighting, about the Vanguard. On some perverse level she wanted to know what it felt like to have the Light coursing through you. 

To her own surprise as much as anyone else's, what came out of her mouth was “what’s Lord Shaxx’s problem?”

Kerryn choked into her glass. Nav roared with laughter and leaned over the table to thump her on the shoulder.

“I like you,” he announced. Magpie smiled warily at him.

“Shaxx lives and breathes the Crucible,” Kerryn said. “He set it up after Twilight Gap – “

“Twilight Gap?”

“Big battle. Nearly ruined everything you see here. The combined Fallen houses attacked the city, and almost won. Zavala and Lord Saladin were ready to lay down arms and surrender.”

“Fallen houses?” Magpie said, astonished. “And who’s Lord Saladin?”

“We’ll get to that later,” Kerryn said quickly. “Anyway, they called for a retreat, but Shaxx ignored them and ploughed forward. Ended up leading a counterattack that saved the City, but he’s never been quite the same since.”

Magpie was taken aback.

“Well,” she said. “I suppose that explains a quite a lot.”

Nav snorted. “Not really. We’ve all seen some pretty grim stuff, and none of us have gone round the twist. Anyway, why are we talking about Shaxx when we could be talking about literally anything else? I propose a toast.”

“To what?”

“Anything.” He turned to Kerryn with a sweeping gesture. “You’re the Warlock, Kerryn. The orator among us.”

He raised his cup and looked at them expectantly.

“Here’s to us,” Kerryn said obligingly. “New beginnings.”

“And new friends,” said Braco with a rare smile.

Magpie hesitated and knocked her glass against theirs. All three laughed, but she didn’t feel shame – they looked delighted, and she suddenly felt weightless and warm, like she wanted to bundle them all up and keep them safe.For the first time since she’d arrived, she felt the tiniest hint of peace.

_*_

“You seem happier,” Ghost noted as Magpie flopped onto the bed. Whatever Nav had been giving her had made her feel sleepy and heavy, and pleasantly blurred around the edges.

“Do I?”

“Have you finally come to terms with the fact you’re here?”

Magpie looked sharply at it, but there was no hint of malice. Mind you, she thought. It’s a machine. How can you tell?

“I don't think you understand where I've come from.” 

She sat up and played with the corner of the pillow.

“I'm a Nightcrawler,” she said finally. “My people...they were shunned from the City. Years and years before I was born.”

“Why?”

“I don't know.” She sighed. “Nobody knew. We just knew that the Guardians looked on us as they looked on the Fallen. We began to wonder if we were somehow touched by the Darkness as well. They hated us, and we hated ourselves.”

Ghost looked downcast.

“The clans died out eventually,” Magpie went on heavily. “I think over time they just stopped caring. The Alaris, the ones the Fallen killed, when I...”

She swallowed hard.

“They were the last. Apart from me. But my family died decades ago.”

Takaala's face, furious and triumphant atop the pyre, swam into her mind. She swallowed the bitter taste in her mouth.

“The Guardians got them.” She said before Ghost could ask. 

There was a long silence. Tears began to prick at the back of her eyes and she swallowed past the lump in her throat.

“You see?” She said harshly, scrubbing a hand over her face. “You see why this is hard for me? And what happens if they're wrong – if _you're_ wrong and they find out what I am?”

“That's why you were so keen to stay out of the City.”

“I don't know if their feelings died out with the clans. If they'd cottoned on to what I was, I could have been dead meat.”

Ghost settled onto the little table beside her bed. 

“You've met Shaxx before.” It said thoughtfully.

“He was poking around in the Wilds with a bunch of metal men and I ran into him by accident.” She snorted. “Almost literally.”

“What happened?”

“He was trying to...” she screwed her face up, trying to remember. It seemed like years ago. Could it really only have been a few days?

"He said he was going to...secure the area for something." She had a sudden thought. "Something to do with the Crucible? Does he use the Wilds for something? Do you think he's going to take me back?"

Do you want him to?"

The thought made her heart thump uncomfortably in her chest. She wasn't quite sure why. The Silver had made her feel as though she was looking at her emotions through a waterfall, leaving them distorted and bleeding into one another. Without answering, she rolled herself in the covers and stared at the ceiling.

“Magpie?”

She grunted noncommittally.

“Thank you for...talking to me.” Ghost said. “I know you think I'm wrong about you, but I don't. Whatever you are...I'm with you.”

Magpie didn't answer. The blue light dimmed and stilled on the table. Her tiny quarters suddenly felt cavernous and empty without it.

It was a long time before she finally dropped off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. In the next chapter, Magpie starts her training with Shaxx...


	10. IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magpie's first session with our favourite Crucible handler...

Magpie decided very quickly after she woke up that she was never going to drink anything Nav offered her again.

“Are you going to stay here all day?” A worried voice said in her ear and she jumped. Immediately her stomach protested and she swallowed hard against the urge to be sick.

“Yes,” she croaked eventually.

“I was being rhetorical,” Ghost hissed. “You’re supposed to be meeting Lord Shaxx at dawn, remember?”

Magpie muttered something that she was sure would have seen her thrashed by the village elders and dug the heels of her hands into her eyes.

“I feel like I’m being punished for something and I don’t know what,” she said. “If I knew I’d be up a mountain somewhere, repenting.”

“With the first impression you made, you’re going to have to do more than repent if you’re late on the first morning.” Ghost pointed out.

With a groan, Magpie rolled into a sitting position and blinked wearily into the darkness.

“Can’t you just kill me instead?” She said. “I already feel like I’m halfway there.”

“I’m kind of obliged to bring you back, even if I could. So that won’t help you.”

“I thought you were meant to be on my side?” She muttered as she stumbled into the washroom.

*  
The weak dawn sunlight wasn't doing any favours to Magpie's already thumping head.

“Do I look like I just woke up?” she murmured as they crossed the Plaza.

“Maybe work on it while we walk,” Ghost said diplomatically.

She grunted and pulled at her hair, peering at herself in every shiny surface they passed.

“Be nice to him,” Ghost hissed as they traipsed into the Hangar. “For the purposes of this exercise, he’s your superior. Try not to get too catty with him.”

“I’m not catty,” Magpie said, affronted, but she forced her expression into what she hoped was an ingratiating smile.

Not that it mattered; Shaxx was standing by a ship with a flimsy looking robot, resolutely not making conversation with anyone. He seemed more interested in the boxes of bullets the robot was moving than acknowledging the fact that she was there.

“What’s the robot for?” she asked when the silence had become uncomfortable.

“Frame,” he grunted.

“What?”

“It’s a Frame.”

“Oh. Okay.”

She waited, but he didn’t offer anything other than this. The Frame looked at her impassively.

She opened her mouth to ask what the plan was, but the transmat caught her off guard, and she clutched her stomach at they landed hard inside the ship. The Frame took the controls as she gasped, staggering. Shaxx suddenly rounded on her.

“I’ve been commanded by the Vanguard to train you in the art of combat, until such a time as they are satisfied you won’t be a liability. I will not tolerate slacking, idiocy or any horseplay of the nature I saw in the Tower.” He said bluntly. “I have a Crucible to officiate. You might be an exception right now but as soon as you can fire a gun properly you’re going into the Crucible, Light or not. There are too many rookies to make exceptions for you, whatever Zavala thinks.” He paused disdainfully. “Do I make myself clear?”

Magpie bit her tongue and nodded. _Don’t be catty._

“What’s the Crucible?” she asked finally.

He froze completely. Even the Frame managed to look nervous.

“What’s the Crucible?” He repeated incredulously.

She shrugged.

“Of course the Vanguard wouldn’t have told you.” He said disdainfully. “The Crucible is…my arena.”

“Arena? Like a game?”

“It’s not a game,” he snapped. “It’s training. As close to a simulation of warfare as you’ll get. Reclaimed wastelands, hand to hand combat, live fire rounds. Guardians fighting for their lives. Their _honour_.”

_Wonderful. I’m going to be trained how to fight by a total sociopath._

She felt sure that Shaxx would throw her from the ship if she asked any more questions, so she stared out of the window as it cleared the warp drive and clenched her fists at the heavy, awkward silence that grew in the room. The Frame whistled at the controls, quite unperturbed.

*

When she landed, wobbly-legged, Magpie was forced to do a double take.

“Is this the Tower?” she said.

“It’s a Tower,” Shaxx said without looking at her. “Once there were many. All but one fell to the Dark over time.”

Magpie looked around while Shaxx fiddled with the gun he’d brought for her. It was surreal, eerily quiet, with a big red tree in the courtyard and clean white paving. Whatever Darkness had been here was long gone, and it looked rather dejected.

“You’ve never fired a gun,” Shaxx said suddenly. It wasn’t a question. So she didn’t answer.

“Have you ever held one before?”

“Only yesterday, with the Vanguard,” she said.

He grunted.

“Do you need me to show you how it works?”

Somewhere in the midst of anxiety she felt a spark of irritation.

“I’m not a complete idiot. I know how a gun works.” She said bitingly. She could almost feel Ghost staring reproachfully at her. _Don’t be catty._

“Fine,” Shaxx said, thrusting a sidearm into her hand with no preamble. She nearly dropped it in shock and fear. She clutched it awkwardly and held it out at arm’s length, pointing it into the distance.

“Fire it,” Shaxx commanded.

“Fire it?” She repeated dumbly.

“I thought you said you weren’t a complete idiot?”

Magpie clenched her teeth together. “Fire it at what?” She managed to force out.

Shaxx gestured towards the Frame, which without her realising had left the ship and was standing at the other end of the courtyard. She turned to face it and looked down the barrel of the gun, trying to ignore the ache in her wrist as the weight pulled her down.

“Both hands,” Shaxx said impatiently. “You’re not Cayde, showing off for an audience. You have a job to do.”

Obediently she moved her other hand up, trying to keep her line of sight steady. With a couple of deep breaths she screwed her face up and did little more than touch the trigger, but exploded before she’d even had a chance to get it all the way and the gun kicked back, sending her stumbling backwards with a searing pain up her arm.

She gritted her teeth and felt every muscle in her face tighten and strain as she tried not to let Shaxx see how much pain she was in.

there was a blink of white light and the pain was gone. Her Ghost floated in front of her, whirring. She gave it an imperceptible nod and hauled herself to her feet.

“You’re holding it wrong.” Shaxx announced calmly, as if she’d done nothing more than try to open a bottle. “You’re too tense. Relax your arm.” 

Magpie obliged and pulled the trigger again. Her arm span wildly out of control and for one horrifying moment she thought she’d shot Shaxx.

“Too relaxed!” He roared, completely unperturbed. “Give it to me.”

She handed it over gratefully, and deeply considered throwing herself off the front of the tower.

“Watch,” he commanded, and emptied the rest of the barrel into the sky, barely flinching. “Absorb the kick.” He tossed it back to her.

“Well of course you can absorb the kick, you're a monster,” Magpie said before she could stop herself. The gun was hard and unforgiving in her hands.

Shaxx grabbed her by the arm and roughly spun her round to face the Frame again.

“Do it again,” he almost snarled. Magpie braced herself against the gun and hated it, hated the stupid Frame, hated everything about the situation.

But most of all, she discovered, she hated Lord Shaxx. _Really_ hated him.

*  
It was not a happy walk back to her quarters that evening. Shaxx had worked her with an almost bloody-minded fixation, she’d lost all of her inhibitions and started to snipe back at him with abandon. He’d spent the journey back berating her for keeping him away from the Crucible for so long, she’d bitten her tongue until she drew blood as her Ghost begged her not to antagonise him any further. 

When they finally returned to the Plaza he’d marched off without looking back, barking at the Postmistress for good measure as he passed.

She punched the door open to the Guardian quarters and promptly fell over a pile of people in the hallway.

“ _There_ you are,” Nav said. “We were starting to wonder if Shaxx had punched you into orbit or something.”

Magpie slithered down the wall with a groan. “I wish he had.”

“Are you OK?” Braco said in a small voice. “Was he awful to you?”

“I’m useless,” Magpie said miserably. “To the surprise of nobody.”

“You’ll get used to it,” Kerryn said kindly. “You’re coming in blind. Nobody expects you to come in and be able to start sharpshooting immediately.”

“Shaxx does.”

Nav snorted. “Of course he does. Shaxx has no tolerance for anything less than perfection.”

“And the Vanguard really thought this was the guy to set me up with.” Magpie said grimly.

“He’s good at what he does,” said Kerryn with a shrug. “He’s a motivator. He’s not afraid to give praise where its due.”

_Where it’s due._

Braco must have noticed her face drop; he gave her a small smile.

“It’s all about letting the gun be part of you, instead of an object in your palm.” Kerryn went on.

“Typical Warlock,” Nav whispered theatrically to Magpie and Braco. Kerryn looked exasperated. Magpie giggled in spite of herself, and immediately clutched her abdomen.

“Shouldn’t your Ghost have fixed you up?” Braco said.

“It can fix injuries,” Magpie said flatly. She’d asked the same question as she limped across the Tower. “Not overworked muscles.”

“There’s a med centre, if it’s bothering you.” Kerryn said, concerned.

“Maybe tomorrow,” Magpie said, grimacing at the thought of walking back across the Tower. “Right now I just want to see my bed.”

Kerryn helped her haul herself to her feet and supported her as she winced her way down the hall to her tiny room.

“Meet us in the canteen tomorrow,” Nav said as she fall face forward onto the bed.“We might have a proposition for you.” 

“Who’s ‘we’?” Magpie mumbled into the pillow.

“Kerryn, Braco and I.”

“What sort of proposition?”

“Tomorrow,” Kerryn said firmly. “You look like a strong breeze would finish you off right now.”

Magpie’s eyelids appeared to have been welded shut. She tried to wave them out, but her arms wouldn’t let her.

She was asleep before the door closed.


	11. X

Apparently loss of muscle tone was an expected side effect of being resurrected for the first time. This little nugget of information didn’t do much to improve Magpie’s mood as she trudged into the canteen in the still-dark morning.

“Would you rather I left you dead?” Ghost said in an injured tone.

“Could you not have done it without ruining my whole body?” She shot back. “I wasn’t dead for long. How does it work?”

“It’s very complicated. You wouldn’t understand.” It said airily. 

Despite the early hour, the canteen was half full. A sea of heads turned to look at her as she walked in – mostly curious, a few with disdain – and she almost slunk, self-consciously, into the seat next to Braco.

“Magpie!” He chirped, and offered her a pastry.

“We were just talking about you,” Kerryn said. “Not in a bad way,” she added hastily, as Magpie froze with the pastry halfway to her mouth.  
“Nah, we were just ironing out some of the finer details of our plans”, Nav said with his mouth full of fruit.

“Oh?”

“So it’s like this – “

“They won’t let me out in the field anymore,” Braco interrupted suddenly. “They say I’m a liability, that I slow things down. They want me to stay here and use the Crucible until I can pull my own weight.”

“You’re not a liability, Braco,” Nav said, looking slightly sheepish.

“Anyway,” Kerryn interrupted. “Nav and I are subsequently out of commission now as well.”

“Why?”

“Guardians fight as Fireteams of three. We can’t go into the field as a pair.”

“And that’s where you come in, my strange new friend,” Nav said, slinging an arm around her shoulder.

Things were starting to become alarmingly clear.

“Hang on,” Magpie said. “I picked up a gun for the first time yesterday and nearly shot Shaxx by mistake.”

“You nearly _shot Shaxx?_ ” Nav and Kerryn said in unison.

“What did he do?” Braco said, horror evident in his voice.

“Well she’s still alive and her nose doesn’t look broken,” said Nav with a grin. “He must really like you.”

Anyway,” Kerryn said, adjusting her armour, “the proposition. If you learn to shoot and Zavala thinks you’re capable, join our fireteam.” 

Magpie dropped the pastry she’d picked up.

“You want me to join your...your fireteam.” 

“Yep,” Nav said cheerfully, popping the “p” at the end.

“You want me,” she said slowly, “to join your fireteam.”

“You know what Kerryn, she’s right.” Nav said seriously. “If she’s prone to complete lapses in cognitive function maybe I don’t want her next to me with a gun.”

“I can hardly _fire_ a gun,” she said vacantly.

“Not yet.” Kerryn said, not unkindly. 

“But everyone else – “

“Everyone else came sprang forth into being with one finger on a trigger,” Braco pointed out. “You didn’t. And you’re already probably more useful than I am.”

“I – wait, you’re OK with this?” Magpie said in surprise. Braco shrugged, and she saw a flicker of something like grief flit across his face. She promptly felt awful.

“It’s in the best interests of everyone,” Kerryn said briskly. “Remember what Zavala said, Braco? You’re much better suited to working the satellites here than going out into the field.”

“Satellites is a civilian job,” Braco said emotionlessly. 

“Only until your gunmanship gets to where you want it to be,” Nav said cheerfully. “I might have met a horrible end by that point. You can be the new me.”

Kerryn kicked him under the table.

“If anyone’s going to meet a horrible end – “ Magpie began.

“Nobody is going to meet a horrible end.” Kerryn interrupted. “Nobody’s expecting you to pick up a gun and start shooting like you’ve been doing it all your life.”

“I think Lord Shaxx is,” Magpie said miserably. The thought of having to spend another day with the Crucible handler made her insides clench with misery.

“Shaxx is…” Kerryn tailed off.

“Mad,” Nav finished helpfully. “Completely obsessed with war and glory and honour and all that. Just ask him for some of his war stories. He loves telling them. You can bond.!

Magpie snorted again, inadvertantly inhaling some pastry crumbs. Braco slapped her on the back.

“Guardian down!” She heard Nav roar as the heads whipped round indignantly to look at them, and every breath she dragged in with the coughing came out as a laugh.

*

Maybe one day she’d be able to tell stories with the brusque Crucible hander, but, Magpie thought to herself grimly in the early morning light, that was a long, long way off. 

“You’re late.” Shaxx said abruptly. Magpie pulled a face at his back. She thought it was probably best to stay quiet.

“I hope you were paying attention yesterday,” Shaxx continued, unperturbed by her silence. “Did you practise? Like I told you to?”

Magpie nearly groaned out loud. Of course he’d told her to practise, and of course she’d been so exhausted when she returned she’d forgotten. The gun he'd insisted she take with her pressed into her thigh, as if it wanted to scold her as well.

“Well?”

“No,” she said evenly. “I passed out when I got back. Everything hurt.”

Shaxx didn’t move.

“You _passed out._

” He said finally. Scornfully.

Magpie opened her mouth to retort, but then realised silence was probably a safer option.

“That's pathetic,” he said slowly, turning to face her; Magpie was reminded once more how tall he was. “Everything is going to hurt when you get out there. Everything hurts these Guardians. You don’t see them _passing out_ when they get back to the Tower. They stand up. They _fight._ ”

“I’ve only just been brought back,” Magpie said. She cringed as it came out as a whine, but really. Had he really been around long enough to forget what it was like?

Shaxx abruptly clanged a fist onto the railing beside him.

“If you expect me to waste my time trying to teach you – “

“I didn’t ask you to teach me.” She bit back.

"No, the Vanguard did. For all my sins - "

Something snapped inside her, and the hot rush of anger was uncounterable.

“ _Your_ sins? I didn’t ask for this. Any of it. I'm still a Nightcrawler in blood and spirit, nothing's changed in me. Nobody thinks I’m a Guardian, really, least of all you. The only difference is you’re the one who’s being an ass about it.”

There was a horrible, ringing silence. Shaxx stared at her, unmoving, and then ripped the gun from her belt with such force that she stumbled.

“You’re right,” he said, disgust handing off his every word. “You’re not a Guardian. I refuse to waste any more time on you."

Without a second glance he strode off out of the hangar, clutching her gun. Magpie could hear the echo of his footsteps on the stairs. She gaped after him.

Ghost whizzed in front of her, somehow managing to look reproachful despite not having a face.

“What was I supposed to do?” She said crossly, suddenly self-conscious as the sound of the Hangar buzzing with activity faded in around her.

“I think getting into an argument with someone three times your size on your second day probably wasn’t the best decision you’ve ever made,” Ghost said diplomatically.

For once, Magpie had to agree.


	12. XI

“Are you telling me you are not willing to continue her training?”

Zavala’s eyes were narrowed but there was a heavy note of resignation in his voice, as though he’d expected this moment sooner or later.

“She’s completely unable to even handle the recoil on a gun, let alone hit a target.” Shaxx thundered. The fight he was angling for was written in every muscle, orchestrating the shape of his body. “When you said you wanted to teach her to fight, Zavala, you didn’t tell me she was _useless._ ”

Silence fell, the air thick with tension. The two Titans squared up to each other, Shaxx lined with frustration, Zavala bracing himself.

“She’s unteachable,” Shaxx continued when Zavala did not speak. “She’s sullen, she’s uncooperative – “

“Since when has it mattered to you if someone’s _sullen?_ ” Cayde said in astonishment.

“Be that as it may,” Zavala said before Shaxx could retort. “It is imperative that we get her into the field as quickly as possible. We need – “

“Why?” Shaxx snapped. “We have Guardians who we can hone and train. We have rookies who have infinitely more promise than an Outsider who can barely stand and has no concept of respect. What good is she going to do us?” He slammed a fist onto the table “How can she possibly stand up against the worst the Darkness has to offer when she doesn’t _care?_ ”

When nobody offered an answer, he threw the gun onto the table and stalked out. The cloud of papers on the war table fluttered into the air like moths.

*

Magpie awoke to dark, close air. It sent her into such a panic she sat bolt upright and knocked heads with Ghost.

“Ow,” it said mildly. 

“Were you watching me sleep?”

“Sentry duty. Plus it looked like you were having a nightmare. I was debating waking you up, but I wasn’t sure if it was dangerous. Maybe that’s sleepwalkers.”

Magpie scratched her forehead and ran her hands through her hair, wincing as her fingers caught in the knots. The last of her dream melted away, like dry sand through her fingers. She seemed to have slept the day away, after slinking back to her quarters.

“You’ll have to face them eventually, you know.” 

“Who?” She grunted through her hands.

“Your friends, the Vanguard...” Ghost trailed off nervously. “Lord Shaxx.”

The thought made her stomach curl.

“Or I could stay here and never see another living soul again,” she said, falling back into the bed and turning her face into the pillow.

“You can’t do that.”

“Why not?” She said mutinously, and then froze. _Why not?_

“Because...” Ghost floundered. “You just can’t. You have to - “

“I don’t _have_ to do anything.” Magpie said angrily. “And I’ve just realised I don’t even _have_ to be here.”

She dropped to the floor and started to dig around under the bed for her skins.

“To hell with this,” she said roughly. “I’m not going to stay here and be poked at like some sort of specimen or bullied by a pig with an ego problem.”

“But - where are you going to go?” Ghost asked in alarm.

“Back,” she said decisively. “Back into the Wilds. You can go and find someone else.”

“That’s not how this works – “

“Well then, come with me.”

“You can’t be serious,” Ghost said flatly. 

“On the contrary, my little glowing friend,” she said, pulling on the last of her skins. “I’ve never been more serious in my life. You can come with me, or you can go and find some other corpse and spin the wheel again. Bye.”

She didn’t give it a chance to respond before she stepped through the door.

*

Her bravado wore off rather quickly.

She supposed that most of her plans had involved throwing herself from the Tower and being revived at the bottom before making a miraculous escape. Now she’d probably have to attempt to sweet-talk the Shipwright into letting her use a ship. She wasn’t filled with hope.

She was mulling over her options when she walked into something hard. She looked up, rubbing her nose, and was mortified to see it was Cayde.

“Going somewhere?” He said breezily.

Magpie opened her mouth to lie, but then saw the double blue lights hovering over his shoulder. Her own Ghost at least managed to look guilty.

“Will you stop me?” She said, with more gusto than she felt.

“Will you force me to?”

She sagged, looking out over the City, before a firm hand on her arm brought her back.

“C’mon, spark jolt,” Cayde said gently. “Walk with me.”

*

As the Vanguard retreated for the night, Shaxx had managed to ignore Zavala’s furious silence and Cayde’s tentative wisecrack. Unleashed only when he was at the entrance, of course. The Hunter was arrogant, but not stupid.

But nobody couldn’t ignore Ikora. Not least because she rarely gave them the option.

“I think you’re making a mistake,” she said calmly, blocking any hope of escape by perching on the edge of his desk. If it were anybody else he’d have put them through the far wall, but he knew better than to try with Ikora.

“Do you?” He grunted instead.

“Zavala seems to think she’s...” 

Ikora trailed off, her forehead creasing. Shaxx looked up at this.

“She’s what?”

“I don’t know,” She admitted. “But I can tell when he’s got something coming together in his head. Maybe he knows something we don’t.”

Shaxx snorted. “So? Zavala’s been wrong before.”

Ikora gives him a piercing look. They never spoke of the Gap.

“I trust him,” she said finally. “I think you do too. And if you do, you need to give her a chance.”

“She’s obstinate, lazy...she doesn’t care, Ikora. I can work with a lot of things, but not that.”

To his surprise – and irritation – Ikora smiled knowingly.

“She’s not lazy, Shaxx. She’s afraid.”

Shaxx huffs out a breath. “Fear gets you - “

“We were brought into this world with who we are predetermined,” Ikora interrupted. “We knew nothing of the past, and very little of the future. We live in the now, fighting day to day to hold back the Darkness. But she has the weight of the past, of her preconceptions, of ancient prejudice. And if we know little about the future, imagine what it must be like for her to know even less.”

“Ancient prejudice?”

Ikora made to speak, and then seemingly changed her mind.

“Ask her,” she urged instead. “Get her to open up to you. If you can. It can only help your relationship. Besides, I’m sure you know a thing or two about being obstinate.”

Shaxx grunted. Ikora slipped off the table and turned to him. 

“Give her a chance, Shaxx. That’s all we’re asking. I know you think you’re an old man who’s seen it all but she might yet surprise you.”  
She left him looking at the Crucible screens without seeing them, wrestling with his own thoughts.

*

For Cayde, “walk with me” apparently meant only as far as the little bar tucked into the corner of the Hangar. He seemed to be well acquainted with the location of the various drinks, and he presented Magpie with a dark brown bottle that smelled faintly like wet grass and wood.

Like home, she thought.

To her horror, her throat tightened. She peeled the label from the bottle with her fingernail.

“You wanna tell me what’s goin' on?” Cayde said gently. His eyes, for all that they were metal, seemed to look softer.

“Not really,” Magpie said in a hollow voice.

“Look,” Cayde said. “Forget what Zavala said the other day. I’d wager my best gun and a whole lot of Glimmer that you’re one of mine, and I never make a bad bet. Do you know what the Vanguard do?” 

The abrupt change of subject made Magpie blink.

“Uh,” she said. “No. Stand around and shuffle papers and look intimidating?”

“Only Zavala,” Cayde said with a smirk. He put his glass down and leaned over the table. 

“We’re here to guide you, kid. You don’t get flung out into the great beyond with a gun and your Ghost. Now, I’m the biggest advocate of the lone wolf approach, but I’ve had my bacon saved by other people enough to know that goin' it alone only gets you killed eventually.”

Magpie dug the heels of her hands into her eyes.

“I’m not some glorious hero trying to strike out on my own and get all the glory,” she said grumpily.

“I know.”

“I was leaving.”

“I know,” Cayde said with a wink. “Runnin' away isn’t going to help you either, I’m afraid. Do you really think you’ll be able to go back now?”

“And why wouldn’t I?”

“You’ve got Light now, kid. They’ll smell it a mile off.”

“I don’t - “

“You’ve got enough to be tied to your Ghost.” Cayde said. “That's enough to draw them to you.”

Magpie stared out into the Hangar. The bright, artificial lights made her feel even more washed out.

“I can’t do it,” she said flatly. “This. It’s not who I am. I’m some sort of half-breed, maybe. But I’m not like you, or Kerryn, or Shaxx.”

Cayde snorted. “I don’t think there’s anyone like Shaxx. Probably for the best. And there’s definitely no-one like me.” He winked.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do. Listen.” He said. “I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to be in your position, so I won’t patronise you by pretendin' I understand. I don’t have to be a mind reader to tell you’re goin' through a lot. But you can’t run away from this, kid. It’s tough, especially for you. But we’re here to guide you - “

“I don’t want to be guided,” Magpie snapped. “I want to go _home._ ”

But as soon as she said it, she realised it was impossible. The Wilds were not hers any more. But neither was this Tower, these people.

They drank in silence, and Magpie followed Cayde onto the Plaza. The light of the Traveller threw everything into sharp relief, and Magpie felt washed-out and exposed.

“Try and get some more sleep, spark jolt,” Cayde said kindly. “Let us work on Shaxx for a bit. Don’t give up hope just yet. Nobody learns to do anythin' on the first attempt. That’s why it’s called learning."

Magpie tried to smile as he bowed deeply and sauntered away into the night.

"I'm sorry I told him," Ghost said soberly. "But I was afraid for you. He's right. They'd see you coming from a mile away if you went back out there now."

"I know."

"So now what?"

Magpie sighed and looked out over the City.

"We'll see," she said grimly. The lights twinkled up at her, as alien as they'd always been.


	13. XII

Magpie had decided, as she stormed back across the Plaza, that she was going to avoid all interaction for as long as she possibly could. It was a maxim that became harder to bear as the evening rolled around and she grew hungrier and hungrier.

The eyes slid over her when she ducked into the canteen, and more than a few whispered conversations suspiciously stopped. Grabbing a plate of meat and vegetables, she muttered her thanks to the serving staff and began to surriptitiously look for an empty table. There was one at the back, in the corner. If she could just - 

“Been avoiding us?” 

Magpie jumped, nearly dropping gravy down her front. Three faces smirked at her from over the table beside her.

“Sorry,” she muttered, heart racing. “I was miles away.”

Kerryn raised her eyebrow and gestured towards the empty seat beside her. Magpie slithered into it.

“Go on then,” she said heavily, dumping her plate on the table. “What’s everyone been saying?”

They looked at each other warily.

“Well,” Kerryn said, trying to keep her voice light. “There’s not many people who’ll talk back to Shaxx, so most people think you’re incredibly brave...”

“Or incredibly stupid,” Magpie supplied. 

Kerryn pinked. “Well. Yes.”

“And Gianna heard the whole thing,” Nav said wryly. “So she’s been unbearable.”

Magpie groaned and let her head fall onto the table.

“Don’t worry abOut her,” Kerryn said. “She’s all mouth. Nothing special. With a bit of training you could have her on her back in the Crucible easily.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not likely to get a bit of training now, am I?” Magpie said glumly. “Not when I basically told Shaxx to shove it.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that either,” Kerryn said quickly. “The Vanguard will sort something - “

“Never mind about that.” Nav interrupted. “Magpie, you’re just in time. We were about to send Braco out to get you.”

“Just in time for what?” She asked suspiciously.

“Party!” Nav said in delight. “Clan Ad Astra managed to knock out that big ogre that’s been wrecking the joint on the moon, so there’s a celebration going on in the Hangar bar. I said we’d go.”

Magpie visibly balked.

“Me too?”

“Of course!” Nav said, as though this was obvious. “Why wouldn’t you be invited?”

“Shall I list the reasons alphabetically, or in order of importance?” Magpie said tartly.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t - “ Braco said quickly, but Nav cut him off. 

“Sure she does. She doesn’t know anyone here apart from us and the Vanguard, right? This is the perfect opportunity to introduce her to people.”

“By throwing her into a room full of Guardians and alcohol?”

“You know what, I’m good.” Magpie said. “That sounds awful. I only came out to get something to eat.”

“You can’t stay holed up in your room forever,” Nav said. “You need to get back out there. Get involved.

“You know,” Kerryn said. “As much as I hate to say it Magpie, I think he’s got a point. All that’s going to happen otherwise is people will talk and the stories will be even more contrived. And with Gianna running her mouth - “

“Alright, I know when I’m beaten.” Magpie said grimly. “What time does it start?”

“As soon as we’re done here,” Nav said with a grin. “And congratulations! Knowing when to hold your hands up and admit you’re done is a skill you can’t teach to some Guardians. You’ll do fine.”

*

They’d not long arrived at the bar before Magpie began to regret agreeing to come. The room was packed with Guardians who either ignored her or looked at her with open disdain, and she scowled at anyone who came near her.

Fortunately, Braco seemed to be having an equally miserable time, and the two of them clutched tin cups of bright green liquid.

“I’m not sure I want to try this,” Magpie said over the music. “Why is it that colour?”

“I find it better not to ask,” Braco said delicately. She noticed he hadn’t touched his either.

An arm suddenly snaked around her neck and Nav’s face appeared between them.

“You’re both being very antisocial,” he said.

“Well, everyone here thinks I’m a freak,” Magpie pointed out.

“And everyone thinks I’m a loser,” Braco added in a small voice.

“This should be your chance to prove them wrong,” Nav announced. “Especially you, Magpie. They only think you’re a freak because they don’t know you.”

 _“Nav,”_ Kerryn said, aghast.

“It’s alright,” Magpie said dully. “It’s not news to me.”

The room suddenly seemed too small, too alien. Her sadness, which had been nestling in a spot beneath her lungs, thumping away, suddenly seemed to swarm around her shoulders like a cloak. The whole scene took on a saturated feel, as though she was watching it from the outside in.

“Are you OK?” Braco said, putting his hand on her wrist. She flinched.

“Sorry,” she said numbly, noting the expression on his face. “I just need a minute.”

She attempted what she hoped was a reassuring smile at the three of them, sitting next to her, but they might as well have been on a different planet.

The crowd parted for her as if she’d cast a spell on them. By now she expected the sideways looks and the rustle of whispers as she passed, but the feeling of alienation still hit her with a pang. How could she feel more lonely in this crowded bar than she ever did in the Wilds?

“Where does that go?” She muttered to Ghost, nodding as discreetly as she could towards a door cut into the wall.

“Balcony,” Ghost said immediately. “You’re not planning on throwing yourself off, are you? Because that’s just going to make a long evening for both of us.”

Magpie let out harsh bark of laughter that made the group next to her jump and shuffle away. “No. I don’t even have that option left, do I?”

With a discreet look over her shoulder she pushed the stiff door open and stepped into the passageway, blissfully still and silent after the raucous bar. She leaned her head against the metal wall and exhaled shakily.

Ghost clicked and whirred over her shoulder, but for once the little bot seemed to have nothing to say. She was glad.

She clambered up the stairs to the balcony numbly, not so much pushing the door open as falling into it. Her limbs no longer felt like they were attached to her; everything was surreal, technicolour, a different plane.

When she saw Shaxx already there, leaning on the barrier at the edge, she nearly collapsed from shock.

“Nightcrawler.” He said, with a cursory glance over his shoulder. Magpie racked her brains furiously for some words. 

“Why are you out here?” She landed on, and immediately wished she’d said absolutely anything else. She braced herself for a lecture on privacy. Or asking questions.

To her surprise Shaxx just snorted. “Do I look like someone who enjoys parties?”

He was still wearing his full armour and helmet. Magpie fought to keep her face straight.

“No,” she said evenly. “No, I don’t suppose you do.”

Shaxx grunted and turned back to the City. 

Magpie made to leave, but found herself face to face with Ghost. It gazed back at her, and suddenly jerked towards Shaxx in a movement that was remarkably like a nod. She shook her head in horror, and they had a furious but silent argument of gestures - 

“Are you going to stand there all night?”

Mortified, Magpie siezed Ghost and stuffed it into her pocket.

“I...” she floundered, looking around for an escape. “I was just going back inside actually - ”

“Strange,” Shaxx interrupted. “You don’t look like someone who enjoys parties either.”

There was no use arguing it.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out before she could change her mind. Shaxx snorted.

“You don’t have to apologise for _that._ ”

“No, I meant I’m sorry for being such an ass earlier,” she said in a rush. “You’re right. I’m not a Guardian. There’s something wrong with me. I think my Ghost managed to – to make a mistake somehow - ”

She winced as she felt a spike in the side of her leg and Ghost wriggled free of her pocket.

“Excuse me, I certainly did _not -_ “

Magpie seized it out of the air and stuffed it back.

“Anyway,” she said awkwardly. “I don’t know what I’m going to do now, but I apologise. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. It’s not your fault I’m hopeless.”

When Shaxx didn’t speak, she turned back to the door, poking her Ghost back into her pocket as it made a final bid for freedom.

“Wait.”

She froze.

“I have never failed before,” Shaxx said, and there was a ferocity in his words. “I’ve been operating the Crucible for longer than you’ve been alive, and I have never failed. I’m not about to start now.”

“But I – “

“You can’t shoot a gun, you have no Light, your hand-to-hand combat is sufficient for Dregs but if I’d ordered the Redjacks to shoot you that day in the forest you would have been dead before you had a chance to unsheath a blade. A bow and arrow is nothing in this world.” Shaxx counted all of her failings off on his fingers and she flushed. “But I’ll be damned, Nightcrawler, if you’re the one that beats me. And I’ll be damned if you giving up on yourself is the reason this fails.”

Unsure what to say to that, Magpie simply blinked at him.

“Why do you care about whether I give up on myself?” She said.

Shaxx snorted. “You? I don’t care about you letting yourself down. I care about letting - “

He stopped abruptly and turned away to look back over the City. There was a long, painful silence.

“Dawn. Tomorrow.” Shaxx said firmly. “If I have to drag you through the seven circles of hell to make you a Guardian, Nightcrawler, then I will.”  
With this less than comforting affirmation, he strode past a gawping Magpie and disappeared into the building. Ghost squirmed free.

“Well,” it said mildly. “I didn’t see that coming.”

“Neither did I,” she said dumbly.

“Now what?”

Magpie went to the spot Shaxx had just vacated and looked over the City. Ribbons of light weaved their way through streets of twinkling flashes.

“Every one of those lights is a person,” she said. “Or a family. Every single one.”

Her Ghost hovered over her shoulder.

“They’re my people now, aren’t they?” She said heavily. “Whether I like it or not, whether they want me or not. This is the hand I’ve been dealt.”

“I suppose it is,” Ghost mused. In a tone Magpie had never heard before it said “I’m sorry, you know. Not for bring you back, because I don’t agree that I was wrong. I’m never wrong.” It puffed itself up, like a bird fluffing its feathers. “But I’m sorry it’s so difficult for you. It’s not…”

“It’s not supposed to be,” Magpie finished heavily. “I know.”

They watched in silence as a few Guardian ships flew in.

“What do you think I am?” Magpie said eventually. “A curiosity? A freak? Something else?”

“I don’t know,” Ghost said. “I really don’t. You’re as much a mystery to me as you are to the Vanguard. And to yourself.”

The lights seemed to be burning their way into the back of Magpie’s eyes. She had the strongest urge to curl up where she was and sleep, sleep until she could wake up and everything would be over.

“I used to know who I was,” she said in a small voice. “I knew I had nothing in front of me but spite. I was a Nightcrawler. I lived because by rights I shouldn’t. Now…”

Her throat felt thick and painful. The lights blurred.

“I know you think I’m a nuisance,” Ghost said gently. “But I’m with you. Not just because I’m bound to you now. Because I like you.”

Magpie was taken aback. It must have shown on her face, because Ghost added “I do. And so does Kerryn, and Nav and Braco.”

“Well, I’m glad someone does,” she said skeptically. “I just wish everyone else would stop looking at me like I was something a Dreg dragged in.”

“You know,” Ghost mused. “I think the problem is that you and Shaxx are more alike than you think. Or he thinks. You’re both stubborn and hot headed, and neither of you particularly want to admit it.”

Magpie snorted. “I like to think I’m slightly more personable. Even for someone who spent decades arguing with the other tribes just for the human interaction and hiding in the undergrowth.”

Ghost made a noise of what she hoped was agreement.

“Come on,” it said. “Nav’s Ghost said something about teaching you to play cards. I wouldn’t recommend wagering any money, though. Mainly because you don’t have any, and taking other peoples’ isn’t the best way to form lasting friendships.”

“What would I do without you?” Magpie said wryly.

For the first time, to her surprise, she found she meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU for your comments, kudos and general love. I'm so glad people are enjoying this, I've had a blast writing it so far!


	14. XIII

It was with some trepidation that Magpie skulked her way into the Hangar the next morning. Particularly, as her Ghost informed her, because Shaxx wanted her to bring her bow and arrows.

"I don't know," it said when she'd asked. "I just got the message from his Ghost."

She’d dug the bow out from under her bed and rolled it in her hands, fingers moulding to the dark wood. Now, with it slung over her shoulder, she felt alive again; alive enough to let the incredulous stares roll over her as she passed.

Shaxx was already waiting for them by the ship when they arrived.

“Well met, Nightcrawler,” he said mildly.

"I - hello," Magpie said awkwardly. She'd been preparing for a lecture on timekeeping, even though she was pretty sure she was early. "Why have I brought this with me? I didn't think it was your style."

Shaxx hit the Transmat in response. Magpie was impressed when she managed to stay on her feet, albeit with a minor wobble.

“It’s not my style,” he agreed. “But my way clearly isn’t working, so there’s no point in continuing.”

“I thought you said a bow was nothing?”

“I’m not suggesting you use the bow anywhere but here with me,” Shaxx said, as though she were a small child. “I want to see what you can do, instead of focusing on what you can’t.”

With a rush of warmth, Magpie realised with a start this was the first time he’d agreed she could do something. She considered seeing how far she could get him to open up on that note, but decided irritating him before they’d even started probably wasn’t wise. She contended herself with making sure her bowstring was taut.

Her transmat landing when they arrived in Bannerfall was even better, and Magpie couldn’t help but notice there were no guns in sight. The relief nearly knocked her over.

Shaxx paced the courtyard, looking around him.

“How far away do you think you can hit that tree from?” He asked suddenly, pointing at the big blossom at the balcony edge. Magpie snorted.

“A large, immobile target? How far away would you like me to hit it from?”

Shaxx gestured to the far end of the courtyard. She felt a slow grin creeping over her face as she shouldered her bow. 

_I'll show you what I can do._

There was very little breeze. The sun was behind her, and the air was crisp. She marked her paces, keeping a straight line from the target.  
Perfect. She almost felt insulted at how easy it would be.

She rolled an arrow between her fingers before hooking it into the bow. The string dug into her fingers as she hooked them around and pulled it back. The creaking of the wood was music to her. If she closed her eyes she could almost hear the silence of the Wilds, broken only by the wind rustling the grass or a distant stream…

She barely moved as she released. There was a satisfying _thonk_ in the distance as the arrow hit the tree. 

She loosed another two for good measure, lining them up almost perfectly above and below the first, and then strode over to the tree rather smugly. Shaxx was already there, examining them.

“Your accuracy seems fine.” He announced.

“Only fine?” Magpie said huffily.

“I want to see how you fare with a moving target,” he went on as though she hadn’t spoken. “If you can deal with that, all that really needs work is your gun handling.”

“A moving target?”

Magpie looked around, expecting to see a Frame she hadn’t noticed before, but the arena was empty aside from them. “A moving target isn’t as easy with a bow, you know.”

“Are you saying you can’t do it?”

“Of course not,” She said, affronted. “I’m saying - “

There was a rumble in the middle distance. Magpie looked up and saw a ship docking at the entrance to the arena.

“Who’s that?” She said in surprise. “I thought you said you’d stopped this arena being in use for the Crucible.”

“I have,” Shaxx said, and Magpie thought from the sound of his voice he might have been smirking. “Your moving target has arrived.”

Magpie’s heart sank. That wasn’t a ship belonging to any of her friends.

It dropped further when Gianna appeared in the courtyard. 

“What’s _she_ doing here?” She sneered.

“Training, Titan.” Shaxx said bluntly. “With your help.”

“My help? I’ve got better things to do than - “

“Not according to the Vanguard, you don’t,” Shaxx snapped. “Now remove your armour.”

Gianna and Magpie both stared at him, dumbfounded.

“Remove my armour?” Gianna said, in a tone that suggested she thought he might have gone mad.

“Yes, your armour.” Shaxx said impatiently. “How are we going to know if she’s hit you with the arrows if there’s nowhere for them to go?”

“Hit me with _arrows?_ ”

“Have I suddenly started speaking in tongues?” He barked. “Yes, remove your armour. Yes, the Nightcrawler is going to try and hit you with arrows. Now hurry up, or we’ll still be here at dusk.”

Gianna gave them both a murderous look and started to unclip her armour. Magpie shuffled closer to Shaxx.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” She whispered. “Gianna hates me, and I don’t think me pelting her with arrows is going to improve our relationship.”

“I don’t care if she likes you or not,” Shaxx said, sounding thoroughly surprised that it would even be on the table. “I’m here to train you, not improve your social life.”

“Just as well,” she muttered. If Shaxx heard her, he pretended not to.

“Right,” he said brusquely, as Gianna stood before them in her leather underarmour. “I want you to run around the arena – no shoulders – and you, Nightcrawler, pick your point and try and hit her.

Gianna gave Magpie a murderous look and stalked off to the perimeter. Magpie drew herself up and headed for the staircases inside.

There were numerous windows around the Bannerfall Tower, and she managed to find two connected that gave her almost unparalled views of the entire arena. She could make out Gianna jogging around the outside, clearly putting minimal effort in.

“I’ve hit lame boar with more agility than you,” she muttered as she nocked an arrow into the bow. “More class, too.”

“Please behave,” Ghost begged her. Magpie smirked.

The first arrow she loosed found its target in Gianna’s flank. She heard the Titan roar with pain and fury, before her Ghost stepped in to do its job. The second, a mere ten seconds later, got her in the side. She saw Gianna’s face turn up to her, and though she couldn’t tell her expression, she had a feeling it wasn’t good.

“Alright, Titan,” she whispered, excitement bubbling over, grabbing another handful of arrows. “You’re in my house now.”

*  
Her hubris was premature. When Gianna began to put the effort in she was formidable; despite being a Titan she had agility that Magpie was sure would make Cayde sweat. She had brought all of her arrows with her, but only three after the original shots met their target. Gianna gathered them up smugly as Magpie skulked down from the window.

“I thought this was the weapon you were good with?” She scoffed. Magpie snatched the arrows from her.

“Thank you, Titan,” Shaxx said bluntly. “You are dismissed.”

Gianna looked as though she wanted to say more, but she reluctantly picked up her armour and headed back towards her ship. Magpie looked grimly up at Shaxx.

“I did tell you it was harder,” she muttered, shame creeping over her face.

“So it would seem,” he said tonelessly. “You’re definitely not going to be able to use that. Your accuracy is fine up to a point, but it’s too slow against anything quick moving.”

Magpie felt her shoulders slump. “Yeah. I get it. Just because you were nice to me last night doesn’t mean I’m not hopeless, right?”

There was a long, ringing silence.

“How I wish there was a way to wire your jaws shut,” Ghost hissed in her ear. Magpie swatted it away, sweating uncomfortably.

“I spoke out of turn that morning,” Shaxx said finally. “I apologise. I realise I didn’t last night, and I should have.”

Magpie felt her jaw drop. Whatever she’d been expecting, it wasn’t that.

“Say something!” Ghost whispered furiously.

“Uh,” she managed. “Thanks.”

Shaxx cleared his throat lightly.

“Stay here,” he said and limped off back towards the ship.

“What’s up with his leg?” Magpie asked Ghost. “I thought Ghosts could heal everything.”

“We can, mostly,” Ghost mused. “I’m not sure. Why don’t you ask him?”

Magpie snorted. “No thanks. I’m not sure we’re quite that close yet.”

They sat in companionable silence until Shaxx appeared, with a gun in his hand. Magpie bristled when she saw it. 

“Don’t look so alarmed, Nightcrawler.” He said. “It’s not going to bite you. Here.”

Magpie took it gingerly. It was much bigger than the sidearm she’d been using before. She cradled it in both hands as thought it might explode.  
“Scout rifle,” Shaxx said when she didn’t ask. “Much slower rate of fire. Better scope. Useful at long distance. It’s probably the closest thing you’re going to get to a bow and arrow, and it’ll suit you more than something fully auto.”

Magpie looked at him blankly.

“Never mind. Hold it like this,” Shaxx said, taking it from her and demonstrating. “Line your target up in the scope and pull the trigger. It’ll kick, so don’t tense, unless you want to knock your shoulder out.”

Magpie took it back and held it as he’d shown her, peering into the little scope window. It was a revelation.

“I wish I’d had this in the Wilds,” she said reverantly. “Picking off deer would have been an absolute dream.”

“Are you starting to come round to the idea of weaponry?” Shaxx said. He sounded pleased. Magpie flushed.

“The bow is still better.” She said, hating how defensive she sounded. “It’s more...personal. You craft the arrows yourself. There's a finesse to it. Your life depends on something you've pulled together with your own hands...

She trailed off, looking down at the harsh metal corners of the rifle. To her enormous surprise, Shaxx put his hand on it.

"Your life depends on this gun, now." He said. "It's time to make friends with it, Nightcrawler.

*

Nobody was more surprised than Magpie when she began to land shot after shot after shot on the target with the scout rifle. She thought Shaxx might have been pleased. He hadn’t shouted at her, anyway, she thought with grim satisfaction as she crossed the Tower.

“Do you at least feel slightly more positive now?” Ghost asked.

“I suppose,” she said, opening the door to the Guardian quarters. “Although it still feels strange. Like I’m playing at being a Guardian. We used to do that in the village, until the Matriarchs found out and gave us one hell of a hiding.”

Her heart clenched involuntarily. She could predict it by now, steel herself against the grief, swallowing the pain.

“Anyway,” she continued. “I’m sure I’ll - “

Her words were cut off by a thick arm across her throat; she was left nearly dangling from the ground, unable to fight back. Gianna’s face loomed into hers.

“Had a fun day with your bow and arrow?” She sneered. Magpie saw lights popping in front of her eyes.

“I hope you don’t think that because you managed to hit me a couple of times you’re a success,” Gianna continued. “I don’t know why they’re putting so much on you. You’re a skinny little freak. I know all about the Nightcrawlers. I’ve done my homework. They should cast you straight back out into the darkness with the rest of your kind. And if you think being able to hold a gun the right way round means you belong here, I’m going to prove you wrong. Even if it kills me."

She let go and Magpie overbalanced as she hit the floor, landing hard. Gianna’s friends laughed nastily and walked away without a second glance.

“Are you OK?”

Magpie didn’t answer, hauling herself to her feet and dusting off her armour.

“Don’t let her get to you,” Ghost urged. “She’s a nasty piece of work. Listen to what the others are saying about you. Even Shaxx could hardly find fault with you today.”

“I know,” Magpie heard herself say, but her brain was miles away. Suddenly she felt as though someone had struck flint in her chest, the flames rising through her veins as her heart began to hammer.

She didn’t have to do it for herself, or the Vanguard, or her new Fireteam, or the memory of her people she’d put guiltily to one side as she lived out their worst nightmare.

Maybe, just maybe, she could do it out of spite, and it would be enough.


	15. XIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back! Apologies for the LONG break - I had another project over December, plus Christmas/New Year and illness. We're back with our favourite orphan and grumpy Titan now, though...

Try as she might, Magpie couldn’t shake Gianna’s words.

“But what does she _mean_ she knows all about the Nightcrawlers?” She said to Ghost as she dressed that morning. “She’s bluffing, isn’t she? She can’t know more about my own people than I do.”

“I don’t know,” Ghost said patiently. “She said she’d been doing her homework, didn’t she?”

“What does that mean?”

“Research, I suppose.” Ghost mused.

Magpie frowned. “Where’s she been doing research on _Nightcrawlers?”_

“You could always try asking your friends? They might know something we don’t.”

She shook her head. “Gianna made it sound bad. The last thing I want to do is make them think there’s something wrong with me.”

“But - “

And don’t tell any of them anything yet,” She added, hauling on her armour. “I don’t want them to find out anything unsavoury.

“Isn’t that basically lying?”

“I’d prefer to think of it as ‘omitting certain truths,’” Magpie said sagely as she opened the door.

* * *

 

Shaxx had asked the Shipwright – a cheerful, spiky woman called Amanda who punched her in the arm and called her “short stuff” - to fly a ship in a way above the arena. The idea, he said, was to teach her to shoot in the wind. Magpie had scoffed, pointing out that she’d shot arrows in all weathers in the Wilds, and she’d sworn she could hear a smirk in his voice when the gun recoil knocked her off balance and the wind toppled her to the ground.

After what seemed like hours her shoulder ached and her shots got marginally better, and then at Shaxx’s signal Amanda cut the engines and Magpie toppled over.

Hauling herself onto wobbly legs, she attempted to walk confidently to where Shaxx was hauling ammunition boxes out of a crate.

“How did I do?” She asked hopefully.

“Probably best to stand behind your fireteam and try not to get in the way,” he muttered, pulling the gun from her hands. Magpie scowled at his back as he inspected it.

The inspiration hit her as she watched his fingers tracing over the gun.

“What do you know about the Nightcrawlers?”

He looked up in surprise, curling his hand around the barrel.

“What do _I_ know?” He repeated. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to make the question any clearer,” Magpie said blankly. Shaxx huffed out a breath she thought might have been a laugh.

“Nothing,” he said. Magpie narrowed her eyes.

“You call me ‘Nightcrawler - “

“I call you Nightcrawler because you aren’t a Guardian.” Shaxx said bluntly. Magpie felt her hackles rise and fought to keep her temper under control.

“But I didn’t tell you that,” she continued. “I’ve never told anyone I was a Nightcrawler. How’d you know?”

Shaxx, she thought, had the good grace to look slightly abashed.

“Your Ghost has transferred some information to mine. Zavala thought it might...help find a common ground. Or let me understand what was going on in your head.”

Magpie glared at the little bot. It turned its eye very definitely away from her and looked off into the distance. She suspected that if it could, it would be whistling.

“Alright,” she grumbled. “So say I wanted to find out more about the Nightcrawlers. How would I do that?”

“I don’t see what we’d know about your people that you wouldn’t.”

“My people died when I was a child. It’s been a bit difficult to ask them about my history. And...” Magpie peered over her shoulder warily, as though Gianna might be lurking absurdly behind one of the spindly trees.

“It’s been... _implied_ to me that there’s something I’m missing,” She said carefully. “So how do I find out?”

“But I’m not allowed to tell you to speak to the Vanguard?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve heard people talking,” she said. “They don’t seem to like the fact that I’m here. I don’t know if the Vanguard know anything, but the last thing I want is for people to see me as more of a freak than they already do.”

“What makes you think that?” Shaxx said, surprised.

Magpie snorted. “Oh come on. They think I’m an inept fraud. It doesn’t matter. I’m not asking the Vanguard. So then what?”

She met his gaze unflinchingly, shoulders back. Eventually, Shaxx grunted.

“Library in the City has works all the way back to the Collapse, or what was left anyway. If there’s anything, it’ll be in there.”

“Library?” Magpie said curiously, but instead of answering he stood up briskly and thrust the gun back at her.

“If you want me to explain a library to you,” he said. “Then I really am going to tell you to ask the Vanguard. Now let’s move.”

“Don’t wirry, I know what a library is,” Ghost reassured her as she hauled herself to her feet.

“I’m going to shut you in a box under the bed if you talk about me behind my back ever again,” she hissed back.

* * *

The library was made of a pure white stone, so smooth that Magpie spent several minutes running the pads of her fingers over it. Ghost finally pointed out that she looked suspiciously like she was in a trance.

Inside it was wheel-shaped, with long corridors branching off from the main central lobby. Each one was punctuated by great, darkwood shelves full of books that made Magpie’s jaw drop. They were nothing like the books she’d grown up with, hand-bound from grass parchment and crisp from years of use in the dry, smoky houses.

“How are you meant to find anything in here?” She muttered to Ghost, staring wide-eyed down the endless rows.

“You could ask someone.”

“When I don’t know what the problem is? No thanks. The last thing I need is for someone else to catch on to what I am, and rumours to start.”

“I thought you didn’t care?”

“I care when it comes to having a bunch of people who can shoot against just me, who cant.” Magpie hissed. She could see signs above the top row of bookshelves, carved into wood. _Golden Age_ _Technology._ _Herbology. Traditional Medicine._ She followed them silently, some words so strange they might as well have been written in another language.

“I never asked,” Ghost said suddenly. “What _is_ a Nightcrawler, exactly? I mean - “ It gave her a cursory look over with its blue eye. “You look human.”

“I _am_ human,” she said indignantly. “And I’m a Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler isn’t a race.”

“Okay,” Ghost said gently. “I’m sorry if I offended you.”

 _Theology. Craft. Art._ She ran her fingers along the weathered spines.

“It was...before I was born,” she said, without taking her eyes from the top row of books. “Years before. Generations. When the Collapse happened, when everyone went from living in the Golden Age to living in abject misery in little villages. The Speaker pulled people together and the City was built, but there were some people who didn’t trust him. Or the Guardians. They thought they’d be better off looking after themselves, and they stayed there.”

“And they were the Nightcrawlers?” Ghost asked.

“Not at first. But eventually some of them began to change their minds. They went to go to the City and they begged to be let in. But by that time the City folk were bitter. They thought that we thought we were too good for them. And they turned them away.”

Ghost was silent for a long while.

“So the City turned you them back out into the Wilds?” It said sadly, watching her unblinkingly.

“Yes,” Magpie said. “And after that everyone started to blame each other. They split up into groups, tribes. But we – our people, that is, the Nightcrawlers – we’d accepted that we’d laid our own fate out, so we didn’t try to get back inside the well. The other tribes hated us so much they’d kill us on sight if they saw us, so any time we needed to go anywhere outside of the village and its boundaries we had to go at night. So they called us Nightcrawlers. They thought the fact that we’d stayed away meant that we’d aligned with the Darkness, that we’d started... _breeding_ it somehow.”

“You know you can’t possibly - “

“You don’t know that,” Magpie interrupted harshly. “Nobody knows that. For all you know, I could be.”

She abruptly turned a corner, heading deeper into the labyrinthian rows, and walked straight into something large and solid. She grunted and rubbed her head, looking indignantly at whatever had stopped her.

It was Shaxx.

“What are you doing here?” Magpie blurted out. He looked rather odd in the serene and scholarly setting.

“You’re late,” he said bluntly. “I thought I’d find you here.”

Magpie looked at her Ghost accusingly. It suddenly seemed to be having some difficulty meeting her eye.

“Sorry,” she said mutinously. “Lost track of time. We’ll come with you.”

Shaxx snorted. “By the time we back up there we’ll have lost most of the light, You can hardly hit the target during the day, never mind in the dark.”

Magpie scowled fiercely at him.

“Do you always have to be such a - “

“I’m not here to be your friend, Nightcrawler,” he snapped. “Now come on.”

Magpie automatically followed him as he pushed past her for a few steps before she shook her head and stopped.

“Wait. What do you mean, come on?” She said, baffled. “You just said it was too late to go back.”

“It is,” Shaxx said. “So whatever it is you’re looking for here, let’s find it. If it’s important enough that you can forget the only thing in your schedule, it’s only going to prove a distraction.” He grunted, eyeing up the huge selection of books. “You seem to have found the right shelves, anyway. Where do you want to start?”

She gawped at him.

"Well?" He barked, earning him a few irritable tuts from the other patrons.

“I don’t know _where_ to start,” Magpie said miserably. “That’s the problem.”

“Right,” he announced. “Follow me. And tell me everything.”

* * *

In under an hour Shaxx had managed to narrow the range of books they required by almost half, and based on her sheepish, faltering descriptions of her past he had started to pull books off the shelves seemingly at random. Some of them looked so old she was afraid to touch them in case they disintegrated beneath her fingers. They pored over the pages at little darkwood tables, with their Ghosts peering over their shoulders and calling out any interesting information they’d spotted.

Unfortuately, Magpie reminded her Ghost eventually, “interesting” did not always translate to “useful”.

Eventually Magpie let herself slump against the back of her chair, rubbing her eyes and pulling at her eyebrows. The words had started to swim together, and her head was pounding.

“It’s no good,” she said gloomily. “There’s not a thing in here about us, or anything that _might_ be us. It’s like after the City was built nothing outside of the wall mattered.”

Shaxx looked up. He was still wearing his helmet. Magpie swallowed the sudden giggle that came out of nowhere.

“I haven’t found anything either,” he said slowly. “Strange...and you’re quite sure the City knew you were out there?”

“Well, they did at some point,” Magpie said. “They tried to get back inside, remember?”

“Strange,” Shaxx said again. “I don’t remember that."

Magpie dropped the book she was holding with a loud _thunk_.

“You were _there_?”

“Of course I was there,” Shaxx said, as though this was common knowledge. “I helped build the wall.”

Magpie gawped at him.

“How _old_ are you?” She asked before she could stop herself. Shaxx gave her what she imagined was a withering look.

“And how can you not remember?” She went on, once she’d managed to unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth. “The Matriarchs said they tried for days, they lit fires outside so the people inside wouldn’t forget they were there.”

“I didn’t spend much time in the City after the Walls were built,” Shaxx said. “It held little appeal for me, unless I wanted to brawl in the taverns. And there were more important things to be done.”

“And people never spoke about them?” Magpie said. For all that they’d shunned and hated her people, her heart ached for the tribes that had found themselves stuck, watching the City grow bigger and brighter behind closed walls while the Darkness took over the Wilds, putting their families and their way of living at stake.

“No,” Shaxx said, and his voice was suddenly gentler than she’d ever heard it. “No, they didn’t. I’m sorry.”

Magpie was horrified to feel hot tears pricking at her eyes. She busied herself with closing the volume in front of her and piling it up with the others while she willed them away. Shaxx watched her impassively, and then closed his own book.

“We’ll resume your training tomorrow,” he announced, stooping to help her as she staggered under the weight of her pile of books. She felt an unfamiliar chill sweep under her skin as she watched him make his way, straight-backed, out of the rows of books ahead of her.


	16. XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for the comments and kudos. You fuel me.

The night brought little sleep for Magpie. Every time she thought she might drift off, the image of little groups of people huddled together around raging fires flashed into her mind, clinging to each other in the face of an encroaching darkness. It was so long before she was born – before her _mama_ was born – and yet she could see them as though they were right in front of her.

She knew she’d be exhausted the following day. Curiously, however, it wasn’t the thought of Shaxx’s fury making her nervous. She thought about how he must see her – weak, pathetic, inferior – and she felt cleaved her in two, with a sharpness that almost left her gasping for breath. She realised with a cold, horrible feeling that her efforts to improve were less about improving herself, and more about impressing the Crucible handler.

She forced the feelings down, ignoring the way her lungs tightened when she thought about it, and threw herself onto her front, burying her face in the pillow.

* * *

“How are you getting on?” Braco asked at breakfast, picking at the fruit on his plate. Magpie shrugged.

“I can shoot in a straight line, the recoil doesn’t knock me clean over any more, I’m pretty hopeless with moving targets and as long as I’m shooting into perfect weather while I stand completely still, I might live.”

“So mixed results,” Nav said with a grin.

“You’re still doing better than me,” Braco said miserably. Magpie opened her mouth to protest, but Nav cut her off.

“I can’t believe you got to shoot at Gianna with arrows,” he said wistfully. “That has to cheer you up, right Brabo? Imagining her running round the arena, squealing like a stuck pig - “

“That’s quite enough of that,” Kerryn said firmly. “But I agree, you must be getting better. Gianna’s stopped complaining about you to anyone who’ll listen – “

“Which is nobody,” Nav added quickly, spotting the look on Magpie’s face.

“Quite,” said Kerryn, flushing slightly.

“Yeah well, it doesn’t feel like I’m getting better,” Magpie grumbled. “So I can hold a gun, big deal. An infant can hold a gun.”

“It doesn’t help that Shaxx is such a –“

Nav closed his mouth immediately as someone slid into the seat beside him.

“Want a hand finishing that sentence?” Cayde said mischievously, twirling an empty juice carton in his hands.

“What are you doing here?” said Kerryn. “I thought Zavala threatened to put you on paperwork for a month if he caught you sneaking off to play cards in here again.”

Cayde chuckled. “That’s why I don’t let him catch me. But I was looking for you four, actually. The man himself wants to see you later.”

“Who?” Magpie said blankly.

“Zavala.”

“Zavala wants to see _us_?” Nav said suspiciously.

“Why?” Magpie said defensively. “I haven’t done anything wrong. I’ve turned up on time every day and let Shaxx push me around - “

“Hang on a sec, spark jolt,” Cayde said easily, holding his hands up. “You’re not in trouble. He asked for Shaxx as well.”

“What do they want?”

“Don’t know I’m afraid, kid. You’ll need to ask them yourself. Hey, if you’re there ten minutes early it’ll make me look really good. I might even be able to get out of the evening shift for once.”

He winked and them and got up, tossing the carton into a trash can.

“I don’t have to come, do I?” Braco said faintly after a brief silence. He’d gone slightly green “I have...there’s a thing I’m - ”

“It’s alright, Braco,” Magpie said as he floundered. “You don’t have to.”

Braco gave her a watery smile as he hauled himself to his feet, almost knocking his glass over with his armour. Magpie watched him sympathetically as he moved awkwardly through the breakfast clouds towards the door. The sky outisde was beginning to pink.

Her stomach flipped uncomfortably.

“No wonder he’s not out in the field, if he can’t even stand the combined forces of Shaxx and Zalava,” Nav muttered beside her. Kerryn glared at him.

“Don’t be an ass, Nav. It can’t be easy to find the motivation when you’re the only Guardian to be pulled out of the field. Especially not when there’s a replacement lined up for you – “

Magpie’s flushed and looked miserably at the floor. Nav gave her a friendly dig in the ribs.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Braco understands, even if it hurts. We need everyone to be on top form. Dying over and over again holds your team back.”

Magpie snorted. “Top form? Shaxx is probably going to tell Zavala that I’m completely hopeless and should be sweeping the floors instead of wielding a gun.”

“I doubt Shaxx would say anything like that,” Kerryn reassured her.

“Yeah,” Nav added, cracking a sly smile. “He’s probably terrified you’ll aim for him and shoot Zavala instead - “

Magpie cuffed him round the back of the head as Kerryn yanked her breakfast plate out of the way.

* * *

 

“Lord Shaxx tells me you’ve made good progress,” Zavala said solemnly. Magpie looked sceptically at Shaxx, who was staring impassively at the opposite wall. He certainly hadn't said that to _her_ in the arena that afternoon.

“That’s…good,” she said cautiously. Shaxx didn’t move.

“I was approached by Kerryn about the possibility of setting you three up as a Fireteam in the field, pending your training under Lord Shaxx,” Zavala went on. “I propose that we proceed immediately with this arrangement. You will be deployed on field missions with your Fireteam, effective immediately.”

The silence that followed this was so intense Magpie could hear the stone in the walls singing.

“You want me to go out?” She choked out eventually. Nav thumped her on the back, a wide grin splitting his face.

“I feel like that would be the next logical step, yes.”

“Of course,” Shaxx barked, making everyone jump. “The next logical step now that she can hold a gun the right way up is to send her to fight an army.”

“Light patrol missions.” Ikora said, as though she hadn’t spoken. “Hardly an army, Shaxx.”

“And what happens if they’re ambushed? An ether drop? A Hive birthing ritual? She’s only just learned to shoot without breaking her wrist and you think it’s a good idea to put her in the middle of that?”

“Hey, we’re not incompetent, you know,” Nav said indignantly. “I’m sure between three of us we can handle a goddamn ether drop. If she – “

“You know ‘she’s’ actually standing here, don’t you?” Magpie said irritably. Kerryn smirked.

“Enough!” Zavala said. “My decision stands. Shaxx, this isn’t your place to influence.”

“With all due respect, Commander,” Magpie said carefully. “Lord Shaxx is right.”

Shaxx turned his head towards her in a comedic display of surprise. She was visited by the sudden urge to giggle.

“I have no...no Light and patchy combat skills.” She went on. “You stopped Braco going into the field because he was a hindrance. I don’t see how my circumstances are any better.”

Zavala met the Vanguard’s eyes across the table. Something about the expression on their faces made Magpie suddenly felt uneasy.

“This has...also been discussed.” Zavala said finally. “We believe - “

“ _You_ believe, Zavala,” Cayde interjected.

“Yes all right, I believe you have certain…qualities that your comrade Braco lacks.”

“ _Qualities?_ ” Magpie said incredulously. “What qualities exactly am I meant to have?”

“Yes, Zavala,” said Shaxx in a dangerous voice that made the goosebumps rise on Magpie’s shoulderblades. She flinched. “What, _exactly,_ are these qualities?”

“We’ll be at liberty to discuss this later,” Zavala said in a tone that indicated he considered the conversation closed.

Magpie felt something inside her flare.

“No,” She snapped. “Something funny’s been going on since I got here. Do you know something about the Nightcrawlers? Like Gianna seems to? Or is this something else?”

“We - “

“Let me guess, you want me to wait until you’re _at_ _liberty_ before you start telling me all sorts of stuff you suspect I might have,” she said, voice higher and louder than she’d been expecting. “What am I meant to do until then? Guess? Wait for something to happen? Run out into the field and be shot over and over again until I prove you right?”

Shaxx made a sudden involuntary movement. Without thinking, Magpie’s hand flew to her hip, searching for a weapon. She was so taken aback by the fact that she hadn't thought to reach for her bow that she froze, horrified.

“And you think you’ll struggle,” Ikora said, warm amusement in her voice.

Magpie opened her mouth furiously to respond, but Shaxx 

"Get her out of here," he snapped at Kerryn and Nav.

"Excuse me - " Magpie began hotly, but Kerryn grasped her elbow.

"C'mon," she murmured. "This isn't the time."

Magpie glared at the Vanguard, but relented and allowed Kerryn to pull her back towards the Plaza. The phantom weight of the gun was heavy against her thigh as she walked, and she was seized by a wave of misery so strong she almost stumbled.

More than ever, the lines between Nightcrawler and Guardian were blurring, like oil swimming on water on a rainy afternoon.

* * *

The Hall of Guardians was silent.

“When?” Shaxx said abruptly, after a time.

“We’re starting our next wave of recon tomor – “

“No,” Shaxx said bluntly.

“Might I remind you, Shaxx, that you have no –“

“Might I remind _you_ , Zavala, that you put this Guardian under my care until she was ready.” Shaxx almost snarled at the Commander. “And I do not believe that she is ready. What sort of usable information are that Fireteam going to be able to discern if they have to watch over their shoulders all the time? You might as well send that Titan back out with them.”

“You told me – “

“I told you she was improving.” Shaxx said, and try as he might he couldn’t keep the shimmering fury out of his voice. “Not that she was _ready_.”

Except it wasn’t fury, it was something so unfamiliar that he felt panic rise up in his chest. He fought to keep his breathing steady.

“Give me a day,” he snapped, cutting off whatever Zavala was about to say. “Give me one more day to at least prepare her with the working knowledge that she’s going out into the field. That’s all I ask.”

Zavala looked at the other Vanguard members. Ikora raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

“One day,” Zavala said finally. “The day after tomorrow, she goes out with them.”

Shaxx held his old friend’s eyes for a moment, before he gave a brief nod of assent and strode out of the hall into the night.


	17. XVI

There was a chill in the dawn air. Magpie looked out over the City to the boundary wall, dragging her feet on her way to meet Shaxx.

“I have to go out there tomorrow,” she said tonelessly.

“You’ve been out in the Wilds before - “

“This isn’t the Wilds,” Magpie snapped. She regretted it almost immediately, but her Ghost was unmoved. She took in a deep breath of chilled air and let it out in a long plume of mist.

“I’m not ready,” she said finally. “I don’t care what the Vanguard think. I can’t do this.”

“Have you considered one thing?” Ghost asked.

“What?”

“You might not be the best shooter in the Tower, but you spent so long out there trying not to be seen. Using stealth to your advantage. You survived for years, even without me.” Ghost said, looking at her steadily. “Your skill isn’t linked to your ability to shoot, no matter what Shaxx or anyone else says.”

Magpie absorbed this as she looked to the horizon. The sun was sending pink and amber streaks across the sky.

“We’ll see,” she said gruffly.

* * *

If Shaxx had any concerns about her imminent deployment, he kept them to himself as they flew to the Arena. Magpie watched his hand on the guard rail, trying to work out if his grip was a little tighter than usual, or if it was her imagination.

He marched her out in silence to the Bannerfall courtyard before disappearing back into the ship, accompanied by several crashing noises. Magpie scuffed the edge of her foot on the ground. Bannerfall was eerily silent when compared to the Tower, with the chattering Guardians and lazy hum of the PA system replaced with nothing but the ominous fluttering of flags.

When Shax  reappeared, he was holding an enormous gun and several boxes of ammunition.

“What the hell is _that_?” Magpie said, aghast.

“We’ve been coming at this from the wrong angle,” Shax announced as if she hadn’t spoken, dumping the boxes on the ground between them. “You know absolutely nothing.”

Magpie indignantly opened her mouth, and then closed it when Ghost buzzed warningly in her ear.

 

“You don’t have to pity me because I’m hopeless,” She grumbled. “I’d rather face ire than pity.”

“Good,” Shaxx said briskly. “Because you’ll find no pity out there. Now give me your gun.”

“I – what?”

"Your gun, Nightcrawler!" Shaxx barked. "Hand it over."

“Is this a test?” Magpie said suspiciously. “Am I supposed to shoot your arm off if you try and take it, or something?”

Shaxx snorted. “If you can shoot my arm off, my job is done. Now hand it over.”

Magpie obliged, with no small amount of trepidation. Shaxx slipped it into his empty holster and held out the monstrous gun to her.

“Auto rifle,” He said. “Long range. Fires five hundred rounds per minute and makes a hell of a noise.” He looked at it disdainfully.

Aghast, Magpie took it with trembling hands. It was heavier than she was expecting, and she awkwardly shifted it into position, nearly toppling under the weight as Shaxx corrected her grip.

“Now,” he said when he was satisfied. “Shoot towards the open ground that way. Hold it until it’s empty to get a feel for the recoil.”

Magpie obediently took aim, relaxed her arms, and pulled the trigger.

The gun didn’t so much recoil as vibrate. She had underestimated it severely and found herself fighting for control, as if it were a wild animal. Her teeth rattled in her head and she squinted against the drilling of the bullets.

By the time the rifle was empty she’d lost all feeling in her wrists and her head felt as though it might shake loose from her shoulders. The dummy Frame stood, unblemished, in the courtyard as dust rose up from the ground.

Unfazed, Shaxx threw a box of rounds to her.

“Again,” he commanded.

Again.

And again.

And again, until Magpie’s legs could hardly hold her up anymore, and she was sure her eyes were vibrating in her head.

“Give me a minute,” she gasped, swaying on the spot.

“You won’t get a minute in the field,” he said bluntly. “You’re loosening up. That’s good.”

Magpie decided it was probably wise not to point out that it was because she’d lost the feeling in her arms. She reloaded the gun clumsily, dropping bullets on the ground where she stood, and fired again.

And again.

And again.

“You need to work on your accuracy.” Shaxx said unnecessarily when she'd run out of ammunition again, scrutinising the stone chippings that littered the ground ahead of them. “You’re still bracing into the kick too much.”

“Am I? Thanks.” Magpie snapped as she reloaded the rifle. “Are you going to actually give me any advice, or just point out things I’m doing wrong until I stumble on the solution myself?”

“Balance. Practise. Knowing your weapon.” Shaxx said bluntly. “That’s the only way. There’s no shortcuts here. I can’t click my fingers and make you competent.”

Deigning not to answer that, Magpie loosened her arms as much as she dared and experimentally fired in bursts. She heard a couple of _clangs_ as some stray bullets clipped the dummy’s metal legs

“Balance,” Shaxx repeated as she lowered her trembling arms again. “When you know how each weapon is likely to react, you can react yourself. Practise is key.”

“I don’t have time to practise,” Magpie said through gritted teeth. “I’m going out tomorrow.”

Shaxx turned and looked off into the distance, perfectly still. Eventually he started slightly and cracked his knuckles, as though he’d just come to a conclusion.

“Try this,” he said, crossing to stand behind her before she had a chance to register what was going on. He reached around her easily and took hold of the gun, steadying himself at her back. She felt her jaw slacken.

“Shoot,” he commanded; flexing his enormous hands on the gun. Out of nowhere, it occurred to her that were he not wearing his helmet she'd probably be able to feel his breath on her neck. Her skin prickled coolly in response.

“NIghtcrawler!” Shaxx barked in her ear, and this time she _did_ pull the trigger, loosing a couple of rounds into the door frame with a loud _snap_ before she hauled it back, gritting her rattling teeth against the vibration. She focused on holding it at a centre point she started at until her eyes watered. Not the deafening ringing in her ears, or the fact that the recoil now pushed her flush against Shaxx's armoured chest.

Not the way she felt the Titan's arms tighten slightly as she braced her legs against the gun kick, holding her steady.

The magazine finally emptied, the ringing echo hanging in the air. Magpie panted, acutely aware of the way her back brushed against his armour. Her heart was going so fast she thought he might be able to hear it.

“Your accuracy still needs work.” Shaxx announceD. Magpie took a deep, shaky breath and puffed her cheeks out. She was torn between trying to think of an excuse to get Shaxx to put his arms around her again, and walking straight off the edge of the arena without looking back.

“Sit down. ” Shaxx said, taking the gun from her. “Maybe it's not your accuracy that needs work, it’s your nerves. You’re all over the place.”

Magpie obediently sat down as Shaxx started examining the gun mechanisms carefully. The silence that fell over them didn’t seem to perturb him at all, but Magpie’s skin fizzed as she remembered the front of his armour flush against her back, his arms – his arms were _enormous_ , weren’t they? She’d only ever looked at them and wondered how on earth anything could possibly stand in his way, but now she was imagining something very different, how it must feel to be trapped in his embrace, how tightly he would be able to hold…

“Why do you hate Braco so much?” She blurted out.

Shaxx looked up sharply. “What makes you think I hate him?”

“It certainly sounds like you do. From his perspective, anyway.”

Shaxx paused, and then got stiffly to his feet.

“I don’t _hate_ him,” he said. “But he isn’t a fighter. You can tell a warrior. They get straight back up when they’ve been knocked down because they want to keep going. That Titan seems disappointed when his Ghost revives him. Like he doesn’t want to be alive. Like he doesn’t want to _fight._ And I don’t have time for Guardians who don’t care.”

Magpie thought uncomfortably back to their first big row. She could well believe it.

“Don’t you think you could help him as well?” She asked. “You’ve managed to make me competent enough to go out there, according to Zavala. Why can’t you do the same for Braco?”

“Because he fears too much,” Shaxx said simply. “Even in the Crucible he shies away from bullets. A Guardian who fears pain, or death, isn’t an effective Guardian. That’s not something I can teach.”

“That makes sense,” Magpie admitted. "Wait - Guardians can  _die_?”

“What is this, an interrogation?” Shaxx snapped, with a sudden steel fury that took Magpie by surprise. “Can’t you just shoot and shut up like the rest?”

Taken aback, she pulled her knife out and examined it, trying to pretend that his tone hadn’t stung her. An awkward silence descended over them.

“Yes, Guardians can die,” he said suddenly, with a shuddering exhale that made Magpie uncomfortable, as though she'd kicked him over and left something vulnerable exposed. “If a Ghost is destroyed, or led somewhere where the Traveller’s light cannot reach, then a Guardian cannot be resurrected on death. Then it is final.”

Magpie felt as though she’d forgotten how to breathe. An icy chill ripped through her.

“Well,” she heard herself say. “I didn’t know that. It was nice while it lasted.”

“You are _not_ going to die in the field,” Shaxx said vehemently, and he stood up to tower over her. “I won’t let that happen. If I have to keep you here all night and have you shoot over and over again until you believe that, then don’t think for a second that I won’t. Do you understand?”

Magpie was too taken aback by this sudden outburst to speak for a moment.

“Answer me!” Shaxx roared, grabbing her by the shoulders and hauling her to her feet. “Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Magpie stammered.

He stared at her, unflinching. Eventually he released her, flexing his arms, and went back to the rifle. She sank back to the ground on legs that didn’t feel real any more.

“You know if you’d tried to do that to me in the Wilds, I’d have killed you,” she said, as Shaxx stood up again.

“Good,” he said, and suddenly his voice was low, his words rumbling with pride like a forest fire. She felt her bones burning as she revelled in it, and she hated herself for it. “Now show me.”


	18. XVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay folks! This is where Magpie's story so far crashes right into the Taken King plotline. Onwards!

“How do you think she’ll do?” Cayde said, leaning on the darkwood desk. Shaxx irritably moved his papers out of the way before they fluttered to the ground.

“If she keeps her head, she’ll be fine.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“What are you asking me?”

Cayde sighed. “I’m asking you if she’s cut out for it.”

Shaxx considered the question, running one finger over a knot in the wood.

“She’s capable,” he finally conceded. “Her weapon skills aren’t up to par, but she has the advantage of having survived outside the City. Her instincts are going to save her, if anything.

“And the Light…”

“Nothing.”

Cayde sighed. “Well, at least she's got instinct on her side. Might stop her coming back in pieces."  
  
Shaxx flinched.

" _Don't_ say that," he said harshly. Cayde gave him a sidelong, curious glance.

"Relax, big guy. She'll be fine. She's on a good Fireteam and she's like an alley cat. Built to survive." He winked and strode out into the night. Shaxx watched him go, tension etched into every line of his body.

It was a long time before he retired to his quarters.

* * *

The Cosmodrome was beautiful, in its own way. Far removed from the kind of wilderness Magpie was familiar with, it was snow covered and industrial, two worlds crashing together and somehow managing to look like they both belonged. The felt the adrenaline stir in her veins like a long-sleeping beast, almost besting the fear that rattled in her chest with every painful thud of her heart.

It was nothing compared to Nav, though, who Magpie didn’t think had been still for more than a few seconds since they met at the hangar that morning.

“Nav,” Kerryn said patiently. “If you bounce next to me one more time while I’m trying to pilot this ship, the first thing I’m going to do when we land is find a Warsat drop and throw you under it.”

“Aw come on, Kerryn,” he said. “Don’t pretend you’re not a little bit excited to be back. And now we’ve got our secret weapon – “ he slung an arm around Magpie’s shoulders - “we’ll be unstoppable.”

Kerryn rolled her eyes. “It’s a patrol recon mission, Nav, not a Hive raid. Anyway, we’re here. Ready?”

“As ready as I’m going to be,” Magpie muttered. She flexed her fingers on her gun, Shaxx’s voice echoing her ears.

_You are not going to die in the field._

The last thing she saw before the transmat kicked in was Nav’s grin.

* * *

 

The Cosmodrome air was cold and wild, full of dirt and sea spray and old metal. Magpie couldn’t stop a grin from spreading over her face as she trailed her fingers across the handle of her throwing knife.

It felt like _home_.

“I can pick up the beacon signals, but they’re weak.” Ghost announced, dragging her thoughts back to the matter in hand. “The three of you might have to do a big of digging around to find them.”

There was a loud whoosh behind her and Magpie almost stumbled as she whirled around, fumbling with her gun. She was taken aback to see Nav and Kerryn both on the back of what looked like tiny, floating ships.

“What the…?”

“Sparrows,” Nav said sheepishly. “We, er…forgot that you might not have one.”

“ _Sparrows?_ ”

“C’mon.” Kerryn shuffled forward and gestured for her to sit on the back. “We can share. It’ll be a bit uncomfortable, but we’ll manage.”

With no small amount of trepidation, Magpie clambered on behind her. The Sparrow vibrated under her thighs menacingly. Before she could say anything, she was was forced to throw her arms around Kerryn’s waist to avoid being unceremoniously dumped on the ground as they sped off.

The scenery flew past them as they careered further into the Cosmodrome, and Magpie was glad of her helmet as the frozen air whipped around them. The Sparrow was faster than she had anticipated and she braced her thighs into a couple of particularly tight turns, but once the shock had worn off she began to rather enjoy it. There was no sign of any Fallen.

_Maybe it’s going to be alright Maybe - ._

Without warning, Kerryn forced the Sparrow to a sudden halt and jumped off. Magpie disembarked more carefully, and was promptly sent sprawling to the ground by Nav.

“Sorry!” He shouted as he adjusted his cape. Magpie could envisage Kerryn’s irritated expression under her helmet and she grinned.

“Split up and have a poke about,” Kerryn commanded as she hauled Magpie to her feet. “Shout if you find the beacon or if you…I don’t know, trip over a Dreg nest or something and need a hand.”

“Split up?” Nav said doubtfully. “Are you sure? What about..”

He trailed off awkwardly with a sideways look at Magpie.

“Zavala wouldn’t have sent us out here if he didn’t think she was capable,” Kerryn said patiently. “Besides, she – sorry,” she said at when Magpie cleared her throat. “ _You_ lived in the Wilds. So you can clearly look after yourself.”

“Of course I can,” Magpie said, with more conviction than she felt.

“Right then,” Kerryn said crisply. “Let’s go.”

* * *

 

“So what does a patrol beacon actually look like?” Magpie muttered to her Ghost as they trudged on through the Mothyards. She hadn’t seen anything noteworthy, and the silence was putting her on edge.

“Long, green light on top, should be sticking out of the ground and making a noise. May not be doing either of those things.”

“Very helpful,” she said sarcastically. “I can’t see any Beacons or Fallen, and I don’t like this quiet. It’s making me jumpy.”

“The calm before the storm,” Ghost mused. “Keep your eyes open. Could be an ambush.”

“Oh, wonderful.” Magpie looked around for any sign of movement, but there was barely even a twitch of dirt in the slight breeze. “I won’t bother with these caves without the others then. We should – oh!”

A patch of soil as soft as butter gave way beneath her and she stumbled, twisting her ankle. She yanked her foot free and dislodged even more soil, revealing a deep, sloping tunnel.

“Are you OK?” Ghost said anxiously, whizzing around in front of her.

“I’ll live, she said, gingerly massaging her ankle. “Actually, can you do anything for it? Else I might have to lay off the walking for a –“

_Crack._

The noise was muffled, but enough to make Magpie flinch in the still air. She looked at Ghost warily.

“I think we should move away from the hole,” it said calmly. “And draw your gun.”

Fumbling, Magpie pulled the auto rifle from her shoulder and limped back a couple of paces as the noise increased, echoing but muffled.

“Let me talk to them,” she muttered to Ghost. There was a sharp _pop_ in her ear as the comms opened.

“K - Kerryn? Nav?” She stammered. “I think I might need – “

She didn’t have a chance to react when the first blow came, the wind leaving her lungs as she landed hard on the ground. As soon as she’d managed to dislodge her assailant another two bodies lurched on top of her. The smell of rotting and decay went straight to the back of her throat and she retched, struggling to get her arms out from under the seething mass to reach for her knife, but there were claws in her arms, mouths in her face, blinding light and screaming...

And nothing.

* * *

 

_Magpie?_

A gasp and a moment of high panic. Magpie struck out blindly and made contact with nothing but air. A sour, wet smell hit the back of her tongue and she turned and vomited onto the grass.

She registered dimly that she wasn’t wearing her helmet.

“Magpie!”

Kerryn’s concerned face swam into focus above her, Nav peering warily over her shoulder. She blinked up at them stupidly.

“What happened?”

“Can you sit up?” Kerryn said urgently. “We managed to force them off, but I don’t know if there’s any more down there.”

Magpie pushed herself up onto her elbows and looked around. There were bullet casings all over the ground and huge chunks of soil missing, but no sign of her attackers, dead or otherwise.

“Those weren’t Dregs,” she said. Sweat ran down the back of her armour.

“No, they weren’t.” Nav muttered. “I’ve never seen anything like it. Do we have readings?”

“Transferred to the Vanguard already!” His Ghost replied.

 

“Whatever those…things were, we’ve never seen them before." Kerryn frowned. "I’m not even sure the Vanguard have.”

“They looked like Thralls,” Nav proffered.

“What on earth is a Thrall?”

“They’re Hive - “

There was an ominous rumbling from under the ground.

“On second thoughts, we’ll tell you on the ship,” Nav said hurriedly. “Come on.”

“Wait – we’re leaving?” Magpie said as Kerryn helped her onto shaky legs. “But what about the patrols?”

“Screw ‘em,” Nav said. “I have never seen anything like what we just saw before, and I bet the Vanguard haven't either. I'm not too hot on the idea of sticking around to see what else they can do."

Magpie looked back at the scarred earth around the pit as they led her away. She had expected it, but she hadn't realised just how much she'd been hoping it wouldn't happen, that she'd gain remarkable shooting prowess or suddenly discover the Light and save the day, returning victorious to the Tower, where the Vanguard and Shaxx would be waiting for her.

But instead, she had failed.

* * *

 

The sun had long since gone down when the Vanguard reconvened, with battle logs and faint, flickering reports of trouble. They'd been told, upon questioning the returning party, that whatever had burst from the ground in the Cosmodrome was beyond the ken of any of them.

After hours of discussion and research, they were forced to admit that it was true.

“We need a Warlock inside the Dreadnaught.” Ikora said forcefully, refusing to drop her eyes from Zavala's steely gaze and ignoring Cayde as he muttered in the background.

“Our first priority must be to protect the City,” Zavala countered. “You heard what happened on Phobos. Whatever it was, it turned Cabal against Cabal, wiped out their base in minutes. How long would we last?”

“Until we understand what we’re dealing with - “

There was a loud whoosh, and a glowing green orb shot across the room and thudded onto the table. The holograph of the Dreadnaught flickered and disappeared.

“They are Taken.” Eris Morn said by way of greeting.

“Eris. Get your rock, off my map.” Cayde said.

“It hasn’t spoken since Crota fell,” Eris went on as though he hadn’t spoken. She held out a hand to the glowing orb, and it flickered as if it were answering. “It speaks now because Oryx has arrived. Come to fulfil the final covenant of his son.”

The Vanguard looked warily at each other.

“But why fight the Cabal?” Ikora asked.

“Not fighting. Taking. Controlling their will.”

The room suddenly glowed with warm orange light again. Eris looked up sharply; Cayde had taken matters into his own hands and removed the orb himself. He met her gaze; she looked at him with a loathing she didn’t bother to disguise.

“So we focus on his army,” Cayde concluded, tossing the orb from hand to hand. “Kill these...Taken, until he’s all that’s left.”

“Whatever you kill, Oryx will replace.”

“The Dreadnaught, then.” Ikora said. “How do we get past that weapon?”

“Without ending up like the Awoken,” Zavala added.

There was a pause.

“I gotta go...uh, see about a ship,” Cayde said suddenly, still rolling Eris’ orb in his hands. He tossed it back to her and she stopped it with the palm of her hand, leaving it hovering in mid air.

“Cayde, our discussion has not yet concluded!”

“I know. That’s why I’m leavin’.”

He smirked as he sauntered out, the furious eyes of his Commander burning into his back.


	19. XVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to DistantStorm, who fuels me every single time I post an update. I'm so glad you're having as much fun reading as I am writing!

Bathed in the light of the Traveller, Magpie rested her elbows on the balcony railing.

“It wasn’t _that_ bad,” Ghost said, breaking the silence.

“I _died._ ”

“Were you expecting not to, on your first trip out?”

“It’s not that, it’s just...”

Magpie sighed and looked out over the City. Only the last few stray ships floated over their heads.

“I looked Thralls up,” she said finally. “They’re cannon fodder. You can kill them with a well-placed punch. Or even a not well-placed punch.” She laughed harshly.

"Magpie - "

“They’re the lowest of the low, lower than Dregs," she spat. "First thing I encounter in the field and _I let them_ _kill me._ ”

“You didn’t _let them_ do anything,” Ghost argued. “Thralls congregate in packs so they can overpower their victims with mass, rather than skill. And besides, nobody’s sure that they were Thralls at all. Kerryn and Nav hadn’t come across anything like that before. They went to look into it, which you’d know if you weren’t hiding up here.”

“I don’t want to talk to them,” Magpie muttered. She felt her face and neck flush with shame, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of how the mission had gone or how she’d behaved since. They'd been quick to reassure her that they didn't care how the trip had gone, that they were just delighted to be back out in the field, but she'd been too mortified to listen.

“You died, and I brought you back,” Ghost said gently. “This isn’t the last time this will happen, you know.”

Magpie sighed and turned back to the City.

“I know,” she said mutinously. “But it doesn’t make me feel any better.”

“I don’t think there’s much I - “

Ghost stopped suddenly, and Magpie looked up in surprise. The sound of shuffling, broken footsteps on the stairs made her heart sink.

“Oh, leave me alone,” she shouted over her shoulder, turning back to the skyline. The footsteps didn’t stop.

“It was your first time in the field.” Shaxx said without preamble when he reached her. “You’re at a significant disadvantage to any Guardian who’s passed the Vanguard’s eye before and you were overrun by creatures that have left everyone in the Tower scratching their heads. All things considered, I would say you did remarkably well.”

“Yes, well, you weren’t there.” She snapped.

There was a long silence.

“Tell me what you’ve learned.” Shaxx said suddenly.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re right. I wasn’t there. I think it was almost certainly nowhere near the disaster you seem convinced it was, but I have better things to do than argue the point with someone as stubborn as you.”

Magpie opened her mouth to point out the hypocrisy, then thought better of it.

“It’s only a failure if you don’t _learn_ from it, Nightcrawler.” Shaxx went on, hands on his hips. “So tell me. What did you learn?”

Magpie shrugged. “Don’t fall over?”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

“Nightcrawler - “

She sighed. “Okay, draw the gun faster. Don’t listen to Kerryn when she says splitting up is a good idea. Next time a hole in the ground opens up underneath me, run like the soil’s ablaze until I get back to the people who can actually shoot.”

Shaxx made a strange noise. Magpie looked up in alarm until she realised he was chuckling.

“That’s an…apt summation I’d say.”

In spite of herself, Magpie smiled.

“So what’s next?” She asked. “Back out to the arena?”

To her surprise, Shaxx hesitated, looking at her sidelong.

“What is it?” She said tiredly.

“They want you to go out again,” he admitted. “They agreed with your Fireteam when they reported that you coped admirably, under the circumstances - “

“But I didn’t _do_ anything!” Magpie interrupted. “I fell over. How can they possibly know - “

“I have informed the Vanguard that you would benefit from more training,” Shaxx said. “Particularly since you can at least fire a gun without falling over now. We need to be doing more than shooting in a straight line. Multiple weapon proficiencies for a start. Hand to hand combat.”

“What do you mean ‘multiple weapons’?” Magpie said in surprise. “How many am I – wait. _Hand to hand combat?”_

“Yes, Nightcrawler. Whatever Cayde might have told you about precision shooting –“

“I’m not going to start - _brawling_ with you!”

“Why not?”

“Look at the size of you!” She said, aghast. “That wouldn’t be training. You’d kill me.”

“Humour me,” Shaxx shrugged. “I won’t fight back. You can hit me and I’ll tell you what you’re doing wrong.”

“Was that supposed to be a compromise?” Magpie said sceptically.

“Of sorts,” Shaxx said, and Magpie was surprised to hear what sounded like a smile in his voice. She grinned.

“Will you at least take your helmet off?”

“Why would I do that?” He said, aghast. Magpie snorted with laughter.

“Where else am I meant to hit you?” She said. “I don’t see what dashing my knuckles off your armour over and over again is going to achieve. Unless you’re training me to fight through a broken hand. Which I can, by the way. I’m from the Wilds.”

Shaxx fixed her with one of those long, faceless stares that made her feel like her soul was under a microscope.

“You might have a point,” he conceded. “We’ll get a substitute. I’ll speak to the Vanguard and see who they can spare.”

“Promise you won’t let him send one of my Fireteam,” Magpie begged. “I’ve already let them down. I don’t want to have to punch them over and over again to add insult to injury. Or injury to insult, as it were.”

“I’ll see what I can do."

With a nod to her Ghost, he brushed past her, before he stopped at the top of the stairs.

“You did well, Magpie,” he said without turning around. “Regardless of how you feel. “

Magpie watched his retreating back. A slow smile spread across her face until her nose wrinkled and her cheeks hurt.

It was the first compliment he'd given her.


	20. XIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for your comments! I have a lot of fun writing this, but it's even more fun to see other people enjoying it as well.

"He must be joking," Magpie said under her breath. "Of all the Guardians in the Tower he could have picked - "

Across the Arena, Shaxx was briefing a furious Gianna on what was expected of her. From the look on her face, Magpie suspected the Titan desperately wanted to land a punch on the Crucible handler rather than her.

"Are you really worried about Gianna?" Ghost asked, zipping around in front of her.

"Not as worried as  _ you,  _ apparently,” Magpie attempted to snatch the bot out of the air. “You’re like a wasp on fire."

Ghost looked nervously at Shaxx and Gianna.

“I’m not worried about you,” it hissed. “She knows you can fight if it comes down to it. But she’s been pulled away to be your punching bag, and she thinks you’re nothing. You know what she’s like. Who do you think is going to have to fall on the sword to make her feel better?"

An image of Braco's pale, open face swam into view. Magpie flushed cold with horror.

“Do you think we can - "

"Step up, Nightcrawler!"

Magpie jumped as Shaxx’s voice rang off the concrete. She spun around to find Gianna advancing, with her arms outstretched and an expression of loathing on her face. She wasn’t wearing a helmet, but she was clad in the rest of her Titan armour.

“Now,” Shaxx said briskly when they were almost nose to nose. “Nightcrawler, I want to see how your fist work is. Land a couple of punches so I can see where you’re going wrong - “

“ _ If _  I’m going wrong, surely,” Magpie said indignantly.

“\- and then we’ll work on improving.”

“Where am I supposed to hit her?” Magpie asked, her eyes not leaving Gianna’s.

“Wherever you like,” Shaxx replied. “Wherever you think will be most effective. Ghost, stand by.”

Gianna let out of a harsh bark of laughter.

“As if someone as skinny as you is going to give my Ghost any work,” she muttered. “I could breath out the right way and you’d be - “

Magpie hit her in the mouth.

She wasn't sure which of them cried out first. Magpie stumbled back, clutching her hand where Gianna’s teeth had impacted her knuckles. She looked over her shoulder for her Ghost and promptly found herself face down on the concrete, the breath forced out of her lungs by Gianna’s shoulder.

White lights popped in front of her eyes and she twisted her upper body around with a yell of pain, blindly grabbing at Gianna’s face to stop the Titan from landing any punches. Then, abruptly, the pressure on her chest lifted and she was left blinking into the sunlight.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Titan?" She heard Shaxx roar.

"She hit me!"

"She was meant to!" He barked. "Was I not clear? Did the Vanguard mislead you? You're meant to help her train, not bowl her over! If you can’t be trusted to - “

“ To what, let a _Nightcrawler_ hit me?” Gianna said scathingly. “How am I supposed to go back to the Tower and deal with everyone looking at me because I let myself get knocked down by  _ that? _ ”

Silence fell. Magpie wished she’d hit her harder.

“You can go back to the Tower and let everyone know that I deemed you lacking in character,” Shaxx said finally.

“ _ Excuse _  me?”

“You heard me,” Shaxx snapped. “If you're so lacking in constitution, you’re no use to me. Leave.”

Gianna looked as though she wanted to argue, but eventually turned on her heel and stalked to her ship without looking back. Magpie fought to keep the smug grin from her face.

"And as for you," Shaxx said, turning on her abruptly. She flinched, but he simply hauled her to her feet with a force that nearly dislocated her shoulder.

“I’m still not punching you,” she said hurriedly.

“Yes, you’ve made that very clear, Nightcrawler.” He sniffed. "Take a break. Heal anywhere that's necessary. I'll see what I can do."

He muttered something to his Ghost and stalked off towards the ship, leaving her to lick her wounds in the sunshine.

* * *

To Magpie's horror, Gianna was replaced by a terrified-looking Braco, with Shaxx announcing that there was nobody better suited to simply standing still and getting hit. It wasn’t a huge improvement, as Magpie felt compelled to hold back her punches and spent most of it whispering apologies to her friend.

At least he was out of Gianna's way, she thought grimly.

In the end, in spite of her reluctance, she found Braco to be quite adept at ducking her blows, and she had to work hard to make them land. By the time Shaxx called time on the exercise her arms ached and she could quite happily have lain down on the concrete and slept.

“Thank you, Titan,” Shaxx said. “You may go.”

Braco made a funny half-movement that might have been a bow and almost sprinted out of the arena.

Magpie craned her neck hopefully, trying to catch any sort of breeze, but the air was still. She could feel sweat trickling down her back, and her hair was plastered to the back of her neck. As soon as the transmat took her aboard the ship, she collapsed onto one of the seats and let her face rest against the cool metal.

“I don’t think you’re a Titan.” Shaxx announced.

Magpie opened her eyes and looked down at her slight frame and bloodied knuckles.

“What gave it away?” She asked tartly. Shaxx ignored her.

“Meet me on the Plaza balcony at dusk,” he said. “I have an idea.”

He strode back to the controls. Ghost snorted

"At dusk?" It repeated, baffled. “What sort of time is that? Which part of dusk?”

"You're supposed to have all the answers," Magpie yawned. "As long as I'm awake when I have to be. I'm ready to drop."

Ghost muttered anxiously about timekeeping and ambiguity, but she wasn't listening. The landscape below shrank to faint lines and ridges as the City punctuated the sky ahead, shining in the afternoon sun.

* * *

Magpie managed to last until she reached her quarters before she collapsed into bed, and barely managed to drag herself out again at Ghost's insistent prompting. After washing off the grime of the training session, she braided her wet hair and made her way to the balcony. 

To her chagrin, Shaxx wasn't there.

"I could have had another twenty minutes!" She complained.

"He only said 'dusk'," Ghost reminded her. "How was I supposed to know?"

"If you weren't so intimidated by _his_ Ghost - "

"I'm not intimidated!"

They argued good-naturedly as the ships made soft trails of light over the City below, until the sound of familiar footsteps punctuated their words. Magpie hauled herself to her feet and pressed two fingers to her throat as her heart began to thump uncomfortably in her throat.

God, how she wished it would stop doing that.

"Nightcrawler." 

“You’re late,” She said dryly. “It’s half past dusk.”

Shaxx ignored her and reached behind him, producing an enormous sword from somewhere on his back. Magpie felt her jaw drop.

“ What,” she said without taking her eyes off the blade, “is  _ that? _ ”

“A butter knife,” he said dryly.

“ Did you just try to be  _ funny _ ?” Magpie said delightedly.

“Well, what do you think it is? Here, take it.”

She took it gingerly and held it at arms length. It was nearly as big as she was and much lighter than she’d expected, with a serrated blade and a piece of amber glass just under the hilt. It felt warm in her hands.

“Have you ever used a sword?”

“No,” she said without taking her eyes off the enormous blade. “No, I have not.”

“It’s called Raze-Lighter,” Shaxx said, pushing the blade down gently with one finger as it wobbled dangerously in front of him. “You’re going to have to learn how to use it before you take someone’s eye out.”

“Where’d you get it?”

“I made it.”

Magpie gawped. The blade was brushed metal, smooth and untarnished, and the edges of the blade were so sharp the light of the Traveller danced along them.

“Did you - did you make this especially for me?” She asked slowly.

“You’ll need to be trained how to use it,” Shaxx went on, as if she hadn’t spoken. “It’s not a dagger you can wave about like a toy – “

“ _ Ex cuse _ me!”

“\- it’s a weapon based on Hive design, imbued with the Light. Can’t you feel it?”

Magpie flexed her fingers around the handle. That curious warmth in the sword made more sense now.

“When do we start?”

“Tomorrow,” Shaxx said, sounding pleased by her awe. “You’ll find it might be…more efficient against a mob at close quarters than a gun. Or a dagger.”

Magpie was visited by a sudden desire to hug him. The idea of what he’d say if she flung her arms around his neck made her want to laugh and die in equal measure.

“Meet me at the Hangar,” Shaxx said. “And don’t go waving it around. If everyone gets wind of the idea that you’ve got a sword they’ll all be clamouring for one. They’re not easy to make, you know.”

“Well, I’m glad you’ve made it discreet,” Magpie said sarcastically. “Where exactly am I meant to secrete this away?”

“Just don’t parade it around the Tower,” Shaxx said, turning back towards the steps to the Plaza. “We leave at dawn. Meet me in the Hangar.”

“’Kay,” agreed Magpie, unable to take her eyes away from the sword. There was a deftness to the work, a precision and intricacy in the blade that she would never have expected from Shaxx. She'd have sooner expected him to punch the metal into submission.

As the sound of his footsteps faded away into the night, she gingerly reached behind her and tucked the sword into her back plate.

“Is that safe?” Ghost said anxiously.

“As long as I don’t sit on it, I suppose.” She said. “I’ll see if Cayde’s get anything to secure it.”

“Make sure it’s something subtle,” Ghost said pointedly. “We wouldn’t want everyone in the Tower to know that Lord Shaxx made you your very own sword now, would we?”

“Oh, shut up.” Magpie said, feeling heat creep into her cheeks. "He just doesn't want me to die in the field.  It'd make him look bad."

"I'm sure it would," Ghost agreed, with an altogether too knowing tone. "Come on. We'd better go and get Cayde before you become the talking point of the Tower. Mind you, I suppose you're used to that by now."

"You're lucky I can't use this yet, or I'd swing at you."

Ghost simply laughed and ducked out of arm's reach as they crossed the Plaza.


	21. XX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your continuing love. <3 I hope you're still enjoying! I get really nervous posting "scene setting" chapters because, as vital as they are, I worry that everyone hates the less dramatic ones!

Magpie arrived in the Hangar the next day with the sword strapped flat across her back. Cayde, as predicted, had been able to rustle up something from one of his many stashes that allowed her to draw the sword over her shoulder without disturbing her bow.

“Shaxx _made you a sword?”_ The Hunter had asked, astonished, when she’d presented it to the Vanguard. Ikora caught Zavala’s eye and raised an eyebrow. The Commander hadn’t looked pleased.

Magpie was still pondering this when she reached the ship.

“You look fierce,” Shaxx said, sounding quite delighted. “Look how far you’ve come since we met.”

Magpie looked down at the gun and knife resting in tandem on her belt.

“Still no Light,” she muttered.

Shaxx was silent for a moment.

“It does well to not take the Light for granted,” he said gently. “I’ve seen Guardians come to rely on it almost too much, in the Crucible and…elsewhere. There’s no substitute for firepower and brute force. What seems like an inconvenience now might well come to be a blessing later.”

Magpie looked at him sceptically.

“If you say so."

“I do,” he said curtly. “Now come on. We haven’t got long to teach you to use a sword, and I’ve seen how hamfisted you can be with a gun. We need all the time we have.”

Magpie poked her tongue out at his retreating back.

* * *

 

To her surprise, they landed in a different arena.

“Still Earth?” She asked him, sniffing the air suspiciously.

“If it wasn’t, you’d know all about it, dressed like that."

“Why aren’t we in Bannerfall?”

“I can’t teach you swordcraft in a place that’s that enclosed.” Shaxx said. “You need full freedom of movement, at least at first. That’s sword’s a work of craftmanship. No use ruining it by running it off stone walls. This is Exodus Blue. Now, ready your weapon”

Hesitantly, Magpie drew the sword and tested the weight. It was lighter than it looked, but the point of the blade still wobbled treacherously in front of her.

““It’s a very different beast from a knife," Shaxx said. "You need both hands, and you can’t look to wield something else at the same time, so once you’ve drawn it you must commit to it.”

He strode over to her and manipulated her hands on the pommel. At the first curl of his fingers around hers she nearly dropped the sword altogether. Even through the thick gloves she could feel how powerful his fingers were.

“Focus, Nightcrawler,” he said irritably. She gulped and tightened her grip.

“Right,” Shaxx said briskly. “Your dominant hand always goes at the top. Don’t hold onto it too tightly, you don’t want your arms to be stiff, but you don’t want it to be unstable either.”

Magpie stared at the point of the sword until her vision swam.

“You need to relax,” Shaxx said. “You look like you’ve got wire for muscle.”

Obediently, Magpie relaxed her arms and promptly overbalanced. The sword hit the ground with a loud thump and she cringed.

Muttering darkly, Shaxx hauled her arms up and positioned her elbows. She redoubled her grip on the pommel and gritted her teeth.

“Now,” Shaxx said when he was satisfied. "Show me what you can do."

* * *

 

There was, as she found out, more to wielding a sword than just swinging it. Shaxx took her through footwork, blocking and balance before he even set up the dummy targets he'd brought with him.

She'd thought working with the guns had tested her arms to the limit, but she barely had the strength to lift her cutlery at dinner.

“You alright, Nightcrawler?”

Magpie jumped, nearly upending her plate. Three pairs of eyes watched her.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said. “Sorry, I was just...”

She waved her hand vaguely and averted her eyes.

“What’s wrong? Are you thinking about Shaxx?”

Magpie dropped her spoon.

“What?” She spluttered, dry mouthed.

“I...” Braco looked nervously at Nav and Kerryn. “I thought your sword training might not have gone as you’d hoped. I hope you’re not worrying about it.”

“Oh,” Magpie said, feeling slightly light headed from the horror. “No, it was fine. I was just...thinking. About something else.”

“Everything alright?” Kerryn asked. “Can we help?”

Magpie looked between the three of them, their faces open and concerned. Honest.

She chewed the inside of her mouth.

“It’s just...” She sighed. “Gianna knows something.”

Nav snorted. “News to me.”

“I’m serious, Nav. She knows something about the Nightcrawlers that I don’t, and she keeps dropping hints about it. And you’ve seen the way she looks at me. It’s not anything good.”

“But you don’t know what it is?” Kerryn asked slowly. “That’s strange.”

“I can’t stand it,” Magpie grumbled. “Some snotty Titan knows more about _my_ history than I do. I’ve been to the library, and we couldn’t find anything. It only goes up to the start of the City Age. I – what is it?” She asked suddenly, noticing the curious look on Kerryn's face.

“Meet me in my quarters in twenty minutes,” Kerryn said, before abruptly pushing her plate away and disappearing into the canteen crowd. The three Guardians looked at each other blankly.

“Where’d she go?”

“God knows,” Nav said, stealing a piece of fried meat from Braco’s plate. “Hurry up and finish, you two. When she walks like she’s on a mission being late is the last thing you want to do.”

* * *

From her first impression, Kerryn's quarters were exactly what Magpie imagined a Warlock's living space to look like - tidy, with books and strange looking instruments dotted around the room. She held out her hand to touch a little glass orb resting on a bookshelf, and hastily drew back when it began to glow and shudder.

“Warlock stuff,” Nav said with a grin. “Don’t ask.”

Magpie perched on the end of the bed and watched it warily. Braco was standing by the window, knotting his fingers together as though he was afraid to risk touching anything.

Nav, meanwhile, tossed his throwing knife onto the table without looking, upending several piles of paper, and flopped face-down onto the bed. A moment later, Kerryn burst in, looking with displeasure at the mess.

“I don’t suppose I need to ask - “

“It was Braco,” Nav said, voice muffled by the pillows. Magpie giggled in spite of herself.

“Anyway,” Kerryn said disdainfully. “Look at this.”

She produced a cloth-bound book from underneath her robes. Braco’s eyes widened comically.

“Where did you get that?” He said, aghast.

“I er – borrowed it, from Commander Zavala,” Kerryn said. To her astonishment. Magpie saw her flush.

_“Kerryn!”_

“Oh, calm down, he won’t even realise it’s gone.”

“Did you have to break into his chambers to get it?!”

“Don’t ask question you don’t want to know the answer to, Braco,” Kerryn said airily. “Anyway, I remembered something I overheard the other day. Cayde was questioning Zavala about something, and Zavala mentioned a book – he said it was the most comprehensive historical text the City had. There’s stuff in here that precedes the Collapse, apparently.”

Magpie’s heart started to beat faster. She stood up and reached for the book, before stopping when she took note of how antiquated it looked. She suspected if she’d sneezed it would have crumbled into dust. Kerryn placed it reverently on the table – Braco scrambled out of the way desperately, as though he feared his presence alone would cause the end of it – and opened the translucent pages.

“What’s Zavala going to do if that thing disintegrates while it’s here?” Nav asked.

“It won’t,” Kerryn said. “Now shut up and let me read.”

Silence fell. They watched as Kerryn skimmed the pages, tracing the words with the end of one finger, flicking the pages past delicately. Magpie didn’t think she’d ever heard a silence so complete.

“Aha!” Kerryn said triumphantly, making them all jump. “Look at this.”

They all clamoured behind her, knocking heads in their haste. Magpie craned her neck to read over Kerryn’s shoulder.

“The last of them, the outcasts, lived in the peripheral wilderness and were treated with disdain after the incident.” She read aloud. “The incident. What incident?”

“It doesn’t say,” Braco said curiously. “It goes on to talk about humanity adapting to living in the City.”

“The incident.” Nav muttered. “So something happened, and that’s what Gianna’s basing her prejudice on? And you have no idea what this ‘incident’ is?”

“No,” Magpie said, baffled. “I don’t remember anyone ever talking about an incident.” She scanned the words on the page as quickly as she could. “It really doesn’t say anything more than that?”

“’Fraid not,” Kerryn said.

“It’s a start though,” Braco added quickly as Magpie’s face fell. “At least we know what we’re looking for now, don’t we?”

“I suppose,” she murmured, reaching out to trace the words with her fingernail. _The incident._

“Right,” Nav said briskly, slamming the book shut with a force that made everyone cringe. “Let’s go.”

“Go where?”

“The Silver, obviously!” He said, opening the door and bowing dramatically. “We need to celebrate finding out this latest information.”

“Nav, it was one ambiguous sentence!” Braco protested weakly.

“Ah, now that’s where we differ, you and I,” Nav grinned as he ushered them into the corridor. “When you live the life we do, even the littlest things are worth celebrating.”

* * *

Later, with the light of the Traveller slanting through the window blinds and the taste of Nav’s favourite whisky on the back of her tongue, Magpie stared at the roof of her quarters. Sleep evaded her..

 _The incident._ Something about the words gave her a creeping chill up the back of her neck. Was it so awful nobody could bring themselves to name it? And if so, how did Gianna know about it?

Somehow, by looking for answers, all she’d managed to do was unearth more questions.


	22. Ghost Fragment: The Gap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An interlude.

 

_There was hot gunsmoke in the air. Nothing but death for miles and miles._

_One Titan stood apart from the rest. He was wrought in fury, forged in battle, but he thought, bitterly, that he would have happily lain down his arms and walked away._

_Her head lolled onto his shoulder and she moaned, from pain or fear he didn't know._ _Her face was hidden by her helmet, but he could see her dark eyes in his mind as though they were in front of him._

_For the first time in his living memory he felt his loyalties stretched taut._

“ _Stay here,” he heard himself say, words from his head and not his heart. “I will come back for you. Do not engage them.”_

_She nodded, one hand seeking out his and squeezing weakly. He felt an agony in his chest that left him breathless. He wanted to say more – he **needed** to say more, but he had never been a man of words, and he found that they deserted him now._

_And so he left her,_ _begging for forgiveness with every step._

_Frame and Guardian waited for him at the front lines, weapons poised. He thought of the City below, of the thousands of humans whose lives depended on his success. He thought of Saladin and Zavala._

_And, as the air grew still around them, he thought of her._

_His eyes picked out something imperceptible in the distance, the tiniest flicker of movement, and then he saw – the eyes of a Dreg, and another, and another, and another..._

“ _Advance!” He barked. The Fallen army roared forward to meet them._

* * *

_Debris._

_Blood._

_Slaughter and destruction as far as he could see. The Titan felt slightly hysterical as he grabbed the nearest body and turned it over, throwing it aside in disgust when he realised it was a Reaver._

_It was only when he saw another Reaver, and another, and another, and then the silent dark form of the Tower looming up silently in the distance, that he realised that they'd won._

**_We won._ **

_He turned his head downwind, afraid he’d retch into his helmet, and saw the first survivors, flinching as near-dead Dregs twitched among the carnage. Some Guardians had pulled their helmets off, staggering past with sightless eyes._

_The Titan turned to run towards the wall and collapsed on the first step as his leg buckled beneath him. He uttered a curse, and a silent prayer to gods he did not believe in. He reached out to push himself back up and his hand closed around a cold wrist._

_The fight left him._

_Her helmet had been knocked clean off, silver hair spread over the ground like spilled wine. Her fists were open and her body still. She might have been sleeping were it not for her expression, frozen in weary resignation._

_Her Ghost lay next to her. Scorched and empty._

_Amongst the wary jubilance of the victorious, there was a howl of fury and grief that echoed through the empty streets and weary hearts of the Last City._


	23. XXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have a great weekend, everyone! Apologies if there's any glaring typos, I'm currently ill and it's screwing with my ability to read.

 The bar was tucked away in a corner of the Hangar. Magpie had never seen it before, presumably because it wasn’t in use, but now it was a hive of activity, with more Guardians than she'd ever seen filling every space. All in honour of Fireteam Stroma, who according to Nav had managed to take down some sort of Hive abomination. She hadn't wanted to come, but he'd insisted. Now she wished she wasn't so spineless. 

Her face must have reflected how overwhelmed she felt, because Kerryn put a reassuring arm around her shoulders.

"Nothing brings people together like the promise of liqueur," she said with a wry smile.

"Quite right," Nav said cheerfully, appearing in front of them with a glass clutched in each hand. "Except Braco, apparently. Where'd he get to?"

"Said there were too many people," Magpie said, taking one of the proffered glasses and sniffing it gingerly. "What  _is_  this?"

"I find it better to enjoy it and not think about what it's made from." Kerryn advised. Magpie took a sip and spluttered on it, forcing Nav to thump her on the back.

"Can't hold your liqueur, Nightcrawler?" A Hunter said, and the group dissolved into laughter. Nav glared.

“Ignore them,” he said. “Come on. You’ll get used to the taste. Want to play cards?”

“I don’t know how to play,” she said miserably.

“I’ll teach you - “

"I'm not sure that would go down too well," she mumbled, eyeing the throng warily, but Nav had already grabbed her wrist and tugged her over to the table.

She noticed, even if he didn't, the way the assembled Hunters shifted slightly to be further away from her.

* * *

For what felt like hours Magpie hovered around the periphery, watching the party unfold. Kerryn had indignantly injected herself into a group of Warlocks and was furiously debating whether ability to actually use the Light was necessary to be a Guardian. Nav and some of the other Hunters had taken up a complicated looking dice game, which Nav appeared to be losing cheerfully.

She wished Braco was there. At least she’d have someone to sit with.

She drifted around the room, trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone, looking hopefully over the crowds occasionally to see if Nav or Kerryn were looking for her. To her surprise, the spicy drink Nav had handed her earlier appeared to be free of charge, and she picked up a glass every time she circled.

The noises of the crowd sounded quite different now, as though they were underwater. Her legs and arms felt heavy.  _Was_  she underwater? Her clothes felt dry. She frowned. Something hard was knocking into the back of her head and she swatted it away irritably.

“Outside,” Ghost hissed in her ear, making her jump.

“Why?”

“Because you’re completely drunk, Magpie.”

“No ‘mnot,” she mumbled, but obediently followed towards the door.

The cool air hit her the moment she stepped into the stairwell. She still felt pleasantly warm. She shook her head like a wolf clearing its ears of water and felt a pain in her knees. To her mild surprise, she was on the ground. Outside. When did she get outside?

Ghost was saying something, but it seemed very far away, and she was so warm, and comfortable. She let her head thud against the paving slabs as her eyes slid shut. It really was so very -

"I don't think so, Nightcrawler.”

She was flying through the air; she yelped and struck out feebly.

“I want to  _sleep_  - “

Her feet hit the ground and she stumbled, grabbing out to steady herself and finding a pair of wrists. When her vision swam lazily into focus, she let go as though she’d been burned.

"What're you doing?" she slurred. Her tongue felt too big for her mouth. She poked it out experimentally and pulled it back in.

"Good god," Shaxx said. He was still holding onto her. "What have you been drinking?"

"Dunno," she said with a breathless giggle. "Some green thing."

"Good god," Shaxx muttered again. "Come on."

"Where’re going?"

"To sober you up."

"'M'fine."

"You are definitely not fine," Shaxx said, and spun her around. "Walk."

Magpie obediently stumbled forward a couple of steps and then stopped dead. Shaxx walked into her, almost bowling her over. She felt a stark thrill as he grabbed her arm to keep her upright.

"Do I have to do what you say in the Tower as well?" she said crossly. “You don’t have to  _teach me_  here.”

“Nightcrawler, unless you want to wake up feeling worse than you’ve ever felt before in your life, I would suggest you do as I tell you.” He bit back. “Now walk.”

Mutinously, she let herself be led down from the balcony and across the Plaza. She was dimly aware of her Ghost hovering next to her head, but the sky seemed to tilt above her, capturing her attention, a wide, yawning space that threatened to trade places with the ground entirely at times.

She started when it disappeared, replaced with the solid white of the ceiling, and then to a room that appeared to have been carved solidly out of darkwood and black stone.

When she realised it was Shaxx’s quarters, the cold of the shock was enough to nearly make her throw up.

"Sit," he said abruptly, letting go of her arm. Magpie looked around, but she couldn’t see a chair, so she perched on the end of the bed.

She only realised a few seconds later that she’d picked the most intimate spot in the room, but she suspected moving would draw more attention to it.

Shaxx produced a glass seemingly from thin air and crossed to a tiny sink in the corner. When it was full, he thrust it into her hands.

“Drink this. Slowly.”

She obliged, taking a couple of delicate sips as Shaxx ran his fingers along the darkwood wall behind him and pulled a chair out. Magpie blinked in astonishment. The high chair back had fit almost seamlessly into the wall.

“I forget, sometimes…” he said as he settled himself into it, and Magpie had the uncomfortable feeling that he was talking to himself rather than her.

“What?” She said belligerently. The pleasant buzz of the liquor had started to wear off and she was starting to feel uncomfortably self-conscious.

“How do you like being a Guardian?” Shaxx said suddenly. The sudden change in tone caught her off guard.

“I preferred the Wilds,” she said without thinking. Immediately she felt guilty when she thought about Nav, Kerryn and Braco. About the Postmaster who was so polite, about Cayde and his jokes.

About Shaxx.

“Why?”

She wanted to tell him it wasn’t true. She wanted to tell him a lot of things. She opened her mouth to lie, and in that instant it was like the fatal break in the dam.

“Because they’re  _honest_ ,” she blurted out. “In the Wilds you know everything’s out to kill you. You know the teeth on a wolf are sharp. You can look at the sky and tell if it’s going to rain, you can taste the wind and know if a storm’s coming. But the people here know things about me that I don’t, they have plans for my fate but they won’t tell me what I’m supposed to do. I can tell a storm is coming and but I don’t know when or where to find shelter. Or if I see the end of it.”

She was panting slightly when she finished. At some point she'd stood up and balled hands into fists. The glass lay shattered on the floor, water pooling around her.

Shaxx got to his feet, helmeted face as emotionless as ever. She suddenly wanted to hit him more than she'd ever wanted to hit anyone in her life, even Gianna. She wanted to scream and beat her fists on his armour until her hands bled and her throat was raw. But she wanted him to stop her as well, she wanted him to grab both her wrists and wrestle her into submitting, so that she could feel him towering over her again, arms wrapped around her…

“I’m going,” she announced, tripping over her feet. Shaxx caught her arm to stop her from falling completely. Much to her shame, she wanted to cry. She wondered absently if he would hold her if she did.

__This is Shaxx, you idiot._ _

“NIghtcrawler,” he said, and though his voice was gentle there was a steely conviction in it that brokered no argument. “You will see the end of it. I told you before and I’ll tell you as many times as it takes for you to believe it: you are not going to die in the field. I won't let it happen. I  _can't_  let it happen again."

She blinked dumbly at him. “But it will happen again, won’t it? That’s what everyone told me. That’s why I have a Ghost - “

“That’s not what I meant.”

Shaxx let go of her and turned away to look over the City. There was an unfamiliar air of defeat surrounding his movements.

“Have you heard of Twilight Gap?” He asked quietly.

“No,” she said. “Weapon?”

“Battle,” he said grimly. “We fought the combined might of the Fallen houses.”

She knew about Fallen houses now. Knew enough to be able to ask “Which ones?”

“All of them.”

Magpie felt her jaw drop.

“They attacked our outposts at Twilight Gap. It was the worst battle the City has ever faced. So many died…Lord Saladin sent a regroup order to all channels. Zavala backed him. They weren’t yelling, but it made my ears ring. Their exact words I can’t remember but Saladin and Zavala, their message was clear. All is lost.”

He stared out of the window, over the City. Magpie followed his gaze, out to a point beyond the boundary. How awful it must have been. The threat of a Fallen invasion so tangible.

“How did you win?” She asked, barely a whisper.

“Six of us took the Wall that day, against orders. We died, and died, and died, but we had each other. And we had our Light." He took in a great, shuddering breath. "Six of us. The Wall held. Zavala and Lord Saladin made their counter attack. And we won.”

“But that’s…good, isn’t it?”

“We lost more Guardians than I can count that day.” He said bitterly. “We six lived. Hundreds didn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Magpie said, pieces clattering into place all around her. Shaxx’s furious approach to training, the intensity with which he pushed the Crucible, his seemingly near-constant anger…

It was beginning to look less like anger, and more like desperate fear.

“Alara died,” he said bluntly, jolting her out of her thoughts.

“Who’s Alara?”

“She was…” Shaxx’s voice was shaky, and she suddenly wished she hadn’t asked.

“She was everything,” he said simply, and in that moment it was as though a great chasm had opened up between them, impossibly wide. She’d never considered the idea that Shaxx had…but of course, why wouldn’t he?

Miserably, she followed his gaze out over the City and tried to squash the cleaving feeling in her chest.

“So no,” he said abruptly. “I won’t let it happen again.”

Magpie didn’t want to consider the implication of his words. She could feel it in the air around them, heavy and oppressive.. She could almost see the expectation in the way he stood, the weight of his eyes on her even though she couldn't see them.

_Was he waiting for her to say something?_

She opened her mouth without being quite sure what was going to come out. To her mingled relief and disappointment, it was "Can I go now?"

If it wasn't what he was expecting, Shaxx tempered his reaction. He nodded and turned away, fists clenched, and Magpie only hesitated briefly before she fled into the night.


	24. XXII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continuing love. It fuels me.

“Go on then, O Wise One,” Nav said with a mouthful of fried bread. “What did the Vanguard say?”

Kerryn winced away from him as he spluttered on his breakfast. 

“They’re called _Taken_ ,” she said. “They were Fallen, Hive, Cabal, Vex. Not any more.”

“What are Cabal? And Vex?” Magpie asked. The smell of grease was making her feel slightly sick, and the fact that her stomach clenched whenever she thought about her conversation with Shaxx the previous evening wasn't helping.

“I’ll tell you later,” Kerryn said briskly. “The fact of the matter is that these things are being... _taken_ somehow, and replaced with the creatures that we found in the Cosmodrome.”

“Taken by who?” Braco asked, eyes wide.

“Or what?” Nav added.

“By Oryx,” Kerryn said grimly. “Father of Crota.”

This meant nothing to Magpie, but she could tell by the faces of Braco and Nav this wasn't good.

“Father of Crota?” Braco said, slightly green.

“’Fraid so,” Kerryn said. “The Vanguard think he’s holed himself up on a Dreadnaught, in the rings of Saturn. He’s stealing creatures away and...transforming them, I suppose, into his own soldiers, so he can avenge Crota.”

“So what’s this got to do with us?” Magpie asked warily, although from the way Nav whooped and grabbed Braco around the neck, she suspected she already knew.

“We’re going to the Dreadnaught." Kerryn said wearily as they roughhoused. 

“Me too?” Magpie asked, aghast. Kerryn nodded.

“Bring your sword." She stood up briskly and lifted her plate. "Meet at the ship in twenty minutes.”

“You can use your sword in the field!” Braco gasped as Nav released him. Magpie shot him a guilty look, but he didn’t look put out at the fact that he’d been replaced. On the contrary, he looked positively relieved by the prospect.

She wished she could say the same.

* * *

 

It occurred to her suddenly, sickeningly, that she’d never been away from Earth. A few short weeks ago the idea that she _could_ leave Earth would have been laughable. Now, Magpie watched nervously as the planet got smaller and smaller beneath the ship, pressed back into her seat as the air burned red outside.

 _How small we are,_ she thought. _How little we matter._

"I'm surprised you didn't already know all this stuff about Crota and the Moon," Nav said suddenly.

 

“Why?”

“Shaxx. Apparently he burst into the Consensus mid-session to demand that they call off the assault, but they didn’t listen. He was distraught when they got the reports back from the Moon.”

Speechlessly, Magpie drew the sword over her shoulder and looked at it. Her heart had started to bang painfully against her ribs at the mention of his name.

_You're being ridiculous, Nightcrawler._

“So he worked out a way to replicate the swords the Hive used, but put the Light in them instead?” She said, attempting to keep her voice from betraying her.

“Apparently so. Are you absolutely sure you know how to use that?” Kerryn said warily from the console.

Magpie looked up from the sword, where she’d been running her finger absently up and down the edge of blade.

“Hm? Oh, well enough,” she murmured.

“You might want to put it away while we're in motion, though,” Nav said with a grin. “I don’t think my Ghost will thank you if you decapitate me by accident.

“Your own Ghost won’t either,” Ghost said pointedly.

The ship lurched as if it agreed, and the change of pitch left her scrabbling for purchase on the seat as she tried to keep the tip of the blade away from Nav's face.

She put it back in the sheath as he smirked knowingly.

* * *

 

The Dreadnaught smelled of decay and rot. Stomach roiling, Magpie closed her eyes and breathed through her mouth a few times.

“You okay?” Kerryn asked. The weight of her hand on her shoulder made Magpie feel slightly better. She nodded grimly and blinked at the view in front of them.

They had landed on the hull of the enormous ship, and she found herself staring out into open space. Her head started to spin.

_How small we are._

“Hey,” Nav said, putting an arm around her; she sagged against his side gratefully. “Sorry, Magpie. I forgot you hadn’t been out here before.”

“Sfine,” she gasped. Tearing her eyes away from the endless stars, she looked out over the ground on front of them.

It was clear, immediately, where their entry point to the Dreadnaught was: the ship that had breached it was embedded solidly in the outer shell, base door open. Several enormous, armoured beasts lumbered around it.

“What are those?” Magpie hissed at her Ghost.

“Cabal,” it replied in her ear. “They call then ‘War Rhinos’. Armoured warmongers from Mars.”

“Oh, lovely,” she said sarcastically.

“Don’t worry,” Kerryn muttered. “They have vulnerabilities, like everything else. And there’s three of us.”

“I’m surprised the Light’s as strong as it is here,” Nav said thoughtfully. “To be so far away, and on a ship like this...”

“Yes, well, let’s not question it,” Kerryn said delicately. “Now, we’re going to have to - “

She stopped abruptly as a shrill whistle pierced the air. Magpie winced against it, and then her mouth fell open.

Seemingly out of nothing, a vast, dark hole was splitting the air, twisting and morphing. The Cabal immediately sprang into action with a roar, weapons readied, as the darkness writhed and exploded into form in front of them.

“Oh my god,” Nav muttered.

Magpie had to agree.

The beast that had materialised in front of them was enormous, lumbering and blind, with white limbs and a dense, black body. It roared as the Taken swarmed around it with sightless faces, morphing and blinking from one place to the next.

“An Ogre,” Kerryn said grimly into their comms. “This is worse than I thought.”

Before Magpie could ask what an Ogre was – although it was patently obvious that it wasn’t good – the beast let out a dreadful noise and the front of its head explode with light. The beam seemed to melt away the advancing Cabal entirely, armour and all, leaving nothing in its wake but scorched ground.

Magpie only realised she was shaking when she felt Kerryn grasp her hand.

“It’s ok,” she said seriously. “They’re big, but they’re not invincible. We can do this.”

“ _Normally_ we can do this,” Nav said. “What _is_ that thing? Is it taken? How do you steal an Ogre?”

“Shut up and listen to me,” Kerryn hissed.. “Here’s what we’re going to do. The only part of an Ogre that’s weak is the head – I’m assuming that will still be the case. They’re tough, but they’re slow. We can use that to our advantage.”

Nav hopped from foot to foot, listening intently, limbering up. Magpie felt slightly sick.

“Nav, you’re going to run it in circles,” Kerryn went on. “I don’t care how you do it, but I don’t want it to even attempt to hit any of us. When I call, stop and I’ll hit it with a Nova Bomb.”

“What about me?” Magpie asked warily.

“You, my fine feathered friend,” Kerryn said. “Are going to make sure none of those little Taken nasties come near me while I’m working.”

Magpie looked at the seething mass of bodies surrounding the Ogre.

“It couldn’t have been a nice, simple trip to test my sword skills, could it?” She said wearily

“It never is,” Nav said cheerfully.

“What are you so happy about?”

"I've missed fighting," he admitted. "Haven't been in a good one for a long time."

"Well then," Kerryn said grimly, purple energy already beginning to glow at her fingertips. "Let's do it, team."

* * *

 

Everything happened rather quickly after that.

Nav approached his role with gusto, bolting around the rugged floor of the Dreadnaught with a series of bloodcurdling howls that rivalled those of the Ogre.  Magpie watched, amused, until she came back into herself and realised that the Taken Acolytes had spotted her.

Their white, burning faces were so dreadful in their lack of features that she felt a sharp stab of fear in her gut. Without taking her eyes from them, she drew the sword.

And then suddenly, as she watched them gather, it was as though the sword and her arm became one, flesh and metal both controlled by her brain. 

For the first time since she’d left the Wilds, she felt _free._

 The roar surprised her, coming from deep in her chest as she slashed at the mob. The sword as good as melted through them, splitting them into darkness as it cut through their ethereal bodies. She could feel her arms aching, but it was as though the pain belonged to someone else, and she almost laughed as the last of them vanished.

Over the sound of her breathing she heard the crackle of Kerryn's voice and watched as the Warlock launched herself into the air, the energy so strong it made her look blurred around the edges. Nav rolled under the Ogre's body as it slashed at him.

Swiping furiously, the Ogre flickered suddenly, becoming almost transluscent. When it reformed, it was almost on top of Nav, baying for blood. Magpie watched with her heart in her throat as he frantically scrabbled away from it, looking for Kerryn.

When the beast lunged out at him again, he rolled over until he was standing and leapt out of the way as Kerryn let go of the Nova. The blast hit him full in the back, swallowing him in purple light, and he stumbled as he landed with a harsh curse into the comms.

The Ogre reared above them.

Magpie didn't have time to think.

Gripping the sword as tightly as she could, she scrabbled her way atop one of the jagged sections of rock poking through the ground like broken teeth, and then launched herself at the Ogre with the sword held over her head. The moment her knees hit its slick, wet back she plunged the blade as far as she could into its neck. It reared back with a dreadful roar of pain, throwing her off and leaving her clinging desperately to the pommel of the sword, scrabbling for purchase as it clawed at its own face. 

With a final, horrible groan it tumbled with a crash and melted away into nothing, leaving Magpie rather taken aback on the ground.

After several long seconds of silence, Kerryn said a word that Magpie had never heard her use before.

“Where were you hiding _that_?” Nav said in delight, hauling her to her feet and thumping her on the shoulder so hard she nearly dropped the sword.

"I grew up in the Wilds," she panted, a grin spreading over her face. _Gods_ it felt good to fight like that again. "That was as natural as waking up in the morning."

Nav roared with laughter and threw his arms around her, much to her surprise.

"I'll tell you something," he announced. "The first thing I'm going to do when we get back is go straight to the Vanguard - and Shaxx, for that matter - and tell them that you're invaluable. You're one of us, Light or no Light."

Magpie felt warm all over as Kerryn motioned for them to follow her deeper into the Dreadnaught. _One of us._

Finally, after blood, sweat and tears, she was getting somewhere.


	25. XXIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long(ish) break - real life stuff has been grinding me down. We're back to your regular scheduled Nightcrawler updates!

Magpie’s helmet made a rather unpleasant squelching noise as she released the air lock. She wrinkled her nose in protest.

“I can’t remember the last time I was covered in this much sweat,” she complained. “And that’s including training with Shaxx.”

“We won’t tell him.” Kerryn said lightly as she punched the coordinates in. “We don’t want him to take offense and start running you into the ground. Not when you can perform like that. We need you.”

“Yeah,” Nav agreed as he flopped down next to her on the bench. “Bags not telling Braco he’s been permanently replaced.”

Magpie grimaced. She’d forgotten about Braco.

“Don’t worry,” Nav said, giving her a friendly dig in the ribs. “He’ll be all right. I don’t think anyone in the Tower is going to disagree when they hear about this. Can I have a shot of your sword?"

"Absolutely not," Magpie and Kerryn said in unison, before dissolving into laughter. Nav looked mutinous for a second, but eventually cracked, grinning out of the window as the stars flew past.

* * *

Before Magpie could make her way to her quarters to wash off, Nav had grabbed her by the arms and frog marched her through the Plaza.

"I told you," he said when she protested. "We're going to tell everyone how great you are."

"If I was as great as you say I am I'd be able to stop you," she said crossly. Nav ignored her and led her down the stairs.

Shaxx wasn’t at his desk, and Arcite-99 was nowhere to be seen either. Magpie shrugged at her Fireteam and they had turned to leave when she heard a snatched fragment of conversation from the Hall of Guardians.

They were talking about _her_.

Unthinkingly, she turned back. Kerryn caught her arm.

“We can’t listen in on a Vanguard meeting!” She hissed.

“It concerns me!” Magpie hissed back. “You can go, but I want to know what they’re saying.”

Before either of them had the chance to stop her, she flattered herself against the wall and slithered behind Shaxx’s desk until she could hear the rumble of voices more clearly.

“I don’t like this - “ Ghost started, but she swatted it away.

“I can’t hear,” she muttered. It hovered next to her ear where she could almost hear it buzzing with indignant anxiety.

“...know, of course, that with Eris Morn’s assistance we’ve been looking into the defences and activity on the Dreadnaught,” Zavala was saying. “Specifically target points where we think Oryx might be.”

Cayde cleared his throat noisily.

“Cayde…helped, if you consider call hijacking a ship and landing a Fireteam onboard the Dreadnaught  _helping_ ,” Zavala added, in a tone that made it quite clear that he did not.

Magpie jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder; Nav pressed a finger to his lips as he and Kerryn knelt beside her. She was filled with a sudden rush of adoration for them both so intense it nearly knocked her over.

“Nevertheless, we’ve pinpointed one point on the Dreadnaught where the Taken activity is significantly higher.” Zavala continued. “Either Oryx himself is responsible, or the Taken are increasing rapidly in number. I want Magpie to investigate and neutralise."

Cayde giggled. It sounded uncharacteristically uncomfortable.

“Wow, Zavala.” He said. “Your sense of humour is... _way_ out of left field. For a minute I thought you were suggesting we -”

“Oh, he is.” Shaxx interrupted. His voice was absolutely calm, but Magpie knew him well enough by this point to detect the fury simmering. Her hair stood on end.

“C’mon, Zavala, send someone else,” Cayde said urgently. “There are any number of Guardians who can go in a Fireteam with – “

“That’s it though, isn’t it? He’s not sending her in a Fireteam.” Shaxx said. Magpie felt Nav shift uncomfortably beside her. “Are you, Zavala?”

There was an uncomfortable pause.

“Old friend, we’ve known each other for – “

“Answer the question!”

Zavala sighed.

“No,” he said. “We’re not sending her in a Fireteam.”

The silence that fell was more complete than anything Magpie had ever heard. Her ears rang with the weight of it. Even Nav had fallen entirely still.

“Have you completely lost your mind?” Cayde at last, aghast.

“We have our reasons – “

“ _You have your reasons_?” There was a noticeable crack in the metallic hum of Cayde's voice. “You and Ikora, you mean? Were you planning on sharing them with me at any point, Zavala?”

“This is madness of the highest order.” Shaxx added before the Commander could respond. “She's only just learned to hold a gun the right way up, and you want to send her to hunt down Oryx?”

“I have a theory – “

“Damn your theories!” Shaxx roared, slamming both fists down on the war table and making Magpie jump. “You had a theory after Burning Lake and look what happened there!”

“It is in the interests of – “

“The interests of – " Cadyle spluttered. "What about _her interests?”_

“What aren't you telling me, Zavala?” Shaxx almost snarled, every word dripping with kindling fury.

“Enough!” Zavala said, raising his voice for the first time. “You forget yourself, Shaxx. The Vanguard do not have to answer to you.”

“No,” said Cayde furiously. “And apparently the Vanguard don’t have to answer to me either.”

He stormed out. Kerryn seized Magpie’s elbow and hauled her to the side; she hadn’t realised that she’d slumped weakly against the side of the desk until she was almost sprawled on the floor.

There was another dreadful, heavy silence.

“This isn’t up for debate, Shaxx,” Zavala sighed.

“Zavala,” Shaxx said, ignoring him completely. “You can’t do this. You don’t understand, she’s – “

He broke off abruptly. Magpie’s heart was thumping so violently she couldn’t breathe.

“She is…my student,” Shaxx said finally. “And I know her capabilities. She’s not ready for this, Zavala. You’re condemning her. And for what? A theory?”

“This isn’t something that’s been decided lightly, Shaxx.” Zavala said. “We’ve been debating this ever since we found the Dreadnaught.”

“But what if you’re wrong?”

Zavala didn’t answer. Magpie’s blood ran cold.

“One life to save everyone else’s, is that it?” Disgust tempered the edges of Shaxx's voice. “When did that become our ethos?”

“Shaxx – “

“Forget it,” he snarled. “But don’t expect me to tell her that the Vanguard are using her as a sacrifice.”

"I don't expect you to do anything, Shaxx," Zavala said icily. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to with the Consensus.

All three Guardians shrank back as he passed, disappearing into the night. Magpie's heartbeat felt strange and fuzzy in her ears and her legs felt oddly boneless.

It was only dimly she felt the hands under her elbows as Nav and Kerryn dragged her to her feet and led her out of the hall as quickly as they could, looking surreptitiously over their shoulders.

* * *

 

Shaxx strode to the panoramic window at the far end and started wordlessly over the mountains.

“Zavala would never willingly place a Guardian in danger,.” Ikora said gently after several minutes.

Shaxx grunted in response. Ikora had to hide a smile. Two stubborn old Titans.

“We’ve never won battles by not taking risks.” She went on. “You know that more than anyone, old friend.”

She saw the slow dip of Shaxx’s head and she thought she could almost hear the intake of breath, as much as he tried to hide it.

“I cannot sit back while you send her in there to die,” he said. His voice was heavy and raw, every muscle in his body braced against the intangible threat. Ikora found herself lost for words.

A rare occurrence certainly. Just as rare as seeing the usually boisterous, simmering Crucible handler in such a state of disarray.

“She is...under my skin, Ikora.” He said finally. “Well and truly. Short of abandoning her to the Darkness, I feel there is precious little I can do about it.”

“Why do something about it?” Ikora said. “Why not let it remain?”

“We are at war,” Shaxx snapped. “This is no time for...for...”

“Happiness?” Ikora finished for him. “You sound just like Zavala at times. No – don't deny it Shaxx. There is little point in fighting the Darkness if there is no light in our lives.”

Shaxx’s fists curled. She could almost see the invisible struggle inside him, the way every muscle strained against the inevitable.

“How can I watch this happen?” He asked. “How, Ikora? I can train her and coach her and give her the best weapons we’ve got but sending her in there with a Fireteam would be insanity. How can I…”

He trailed off.

“We’ve never authorised anything like this before," He said finally. "We sealed off the Moon, closed off the Vault of Glass –“

"Shaxx, if Zavala’s right about Magpie she could be the one to end it all – “

“And if he’s wrong she’ll _die!”_ Shaxx exploded, his voice echoing around the hallway. “She’ll die and all that will have happened is we’ve sent a Guardian to execution because of a theory he has. What is this _theory,_ Ikora? What is he not telling me?"

"You know as well as I do that I'm not at liberty to tell you that," Ikora said firmly. "I know you trust Zavala, implicitly. I know that you've disagreed on his choice of action in the past. And I know that your feelings for this - this Guardian - "

"You can't even call her a Guardian without forcing yourself to," Shaxx snapped. "Whatever my _feelings_ are, you've as good as admitted you'd send someone whose very existence you doubt into the jaws of hell on a whim Zavala has. I don't know what you expect of me, Ikora, but if you think I'm going to agree that this is worthwhile then you're wrong. This is unforgivable."

Before Ikora could respond he'd marched past her, shoulders tight. The only sound left in the Hall of Guardians was was a muffled thump as he drove his fist into the wall in frustration.


	26. XXIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I'm sure you've all seen, AO3 was nominated for a Hugo Award. I'm therefore going to conclude that BWABW is a Hugo nominated fic. I'm preparing my speech as you read.
> 
> Top of the list of people to thank is everyone who comments and shares the love. You have no idea how stupidly giddy it makes me to read them. Poor Magpie's taking a beating at the moment. Keep her in your hearts. x

The clouds were so low the Traveller’s light made the sky look like a thick hanging curtain. Magpie was sure she could disturb them with her fingertips as she stared up, swinging her legs off the edge of the balcony.

“Can you refuse to revive me if I die?” she asked Ghost suddenly, drumming her fingers on the railing.

“Don’t talk like that,” Ghost said nervously. Magpie snorted.

“Why?” She asked, resting her chin on the cold metal. “They’re going to send me in to be killed by Oryx anyway. Maybe we could get it over with and you could find some other Guardian to pick up. A real one.”

“You _are_ a real Guardian,” Ghost urged. “I can tell. I was looking for you for so long. And I’m not ready to give up yet.”

Amidst her misery, Magpie felt a surge of love for the little bot. She gave it an affectionate pat.

“Sorry,” she said with a flash of a grin as it bobbed under her hand. “Are little lights not meant to be patted?”

“I suppose it’s better than – uh oh. Incoming.” Ghost swooped in front of her, peering over her shoulder.

She didn't have to look.

“I know,” she said before Shaxx had a chance to speak. “I was in the Hall. I heard everything.”

 

“I won’t let them”, he replied. There was a granite edge to his voice.

Magpie snorted softly. “You don’t have a choice, do you?”

Shaxx didn't answer. Magpie turned back to the City. She thought if she really squinted she could see the edges of the Wilds beyond the lights, rolling and feral and harsh. She felt a tug of miserable nostalgia in her abdomen.

"When?" She asked.

"Tomorrow."

Magpie was glad she was sitting down. Her vision swam and her chest began to hurt. She focused on the steady, blue light of her Ghost and tried to regulate her breathing.

“When you say you were in the Hall - " Shaxx dropped tentatively onto one knee beside her. "What exactly did you hear?”

“That Zavala wants to send me on my own to fight Oryx. Not that there’ll be much fighting involved, I imagine.”

“Nothing else?”

“No, that was it.” Magpie’s blood ran cold. “Why? What else was there?”

“Nothing.” Shaxx said quickly.

Too quickly.

“Don’t lie to me,” She said sharply. “I’ve had enough of people not telling me things.”

Shaxx looked at her and she met his faceless gaze, determined not to shrink away.

“Why did they call you Magpie?” He said suddenly.

“What’s that got to do with anything?” She asked, taken aback.

He shrugged. “I’m curious.”

Looking back over to the Wilds, she realised with a pang that she'd never found out what Gianna knew, and why the Nightcrawlers were so hated. She'd die not knowing.

The thought stung more than the Vanguard's betrayal.

“Back before the Wall there were more of us,” Magpie said, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Different tribes. They called us the Nightcrawlers, because we only came out in the dark. Made us less likely to bump into someone and wind up with a dagger between the shoulders. Anyway, if we saw Fallen or anyone else we didn’t want tripping over us, we would to send one person out to draw their attention and the rest would attack on the blind side. I was the one who could hold her own the best, so they used me.”

“Nice tactics,” Shaxx said. There was a measure of pride in his voice.

“Thanks. Anyway, I got so good at it they started calling me Magpie. Since it’s bad luck to see a magpie on its own. I kind of liked it.” She laughed bitterly. “They're all dead, I'm the only one left, and my luck hasn't exactly been on my side since..

“It’s not you that’s unlucky,” Shaxx said gently. “You’re a victim of circumstance. As we all have been.”

“You’re not the one who’s being sent to die on a gamble."

Shaxx was quiet for a long time.

“I tried,” he said eventually. His voice was hollow. “I tried to make them see sense. I’m sorry.”

"I don't want them to _see sense_ ," She snapped. "Don't you see? I want them to see me as a person, not an experiment. Not some sort of mongrel that’s still being put through her paces. I just want to be _normal._ ”

“I know - “

“No, you don’t." Magpie wanted to laugh suddenly. “How could you have the faintest idea what it’s like?”

He bowed his head. It was the closest she'd seen him come to admitting defeat.  
  
Grimly, she turned back to the railing. If she squinted she could almost make out the river under the moonlight, ribboning over the horizon. She'd made her way up and down the banks more often than she cared to work out, with nowhere to go but onward - 

When the realisation hit her, it was harder than any bullet she’d ever taken.

“I don’t have to,” she said, more to herself than to Shaxx.

“What did you say?”

“I don’t have to do it.” She breathed out. How could she have been so stupid? “I can go back to the Wilds. I don’t have to stay here. I don’t have to care about any of this.”

“That’s not a safe zone,” Shaxx said, alarmed. “You can’t – “

“The hell I can’t.” Magpie scoffed. “You think I’m going to let anyone tell me I can’t go back because it’s not safe? When they want to send me into the Dreadnaught on my own?”

“Magpie,” Shaxx said. “We can train. Right now. We can – “

“It’s too late for that,” she said, fighting the hysterical laughter that threatened to overcome her. “Way too late. I’m going to die tomorrow.”

“Don’t – “

“You know what, though?” She said, scrambling to her feet and watching as Shaxx followed suit. “I don’t care. What’s the point? I’ve never been a Guardian. I’m a scrappy little feral from the Wilds.”

“You have a Ghost,” Shaxx said, frustration beginning to kindle in his voice. Ghost shot round to hover in front of her, as if to further emphasise the point.

“Okay, so I’m an immortal scrappy little feral from the Wilds. So what?” Magpie could hear her own voice rising in response. “So the Vanguard have to actually plan an assault on the Dreadnaught instead of wasting time by sending me to piss Oryx off. Big deal. That’s their _job_. My only purpose here has been to be trained to die. I’m an expendable resource.”

She stopped for breath. Ghost was looking between them, agitated.

“I don’t _want_ to go to the Dreadnaught,” Magpie blurted out before she could stop herself. “I don’t want to do this anymore. I thought I was helping, and all that’s been happening is the Vanguard have been biding their time before they send me off to some situation I can’t possibly come out of alive to see if…I don’t know, to see if they can frighten the Light out of me, or something.”

“I – “

“I’m a pawn.” Magpie snapped. “Is this it? Is this what it is to be a Guardian? Or am I special?”

Shaxx said nothing. Magpie felt victorious, and it made her feel sick.

"I'll die, and it won't matter," she panted. "’ll disappear like some sort of failed experiment and nobody will ever remember that I was here. So don’t - "

“Of course you’re special,” Shaxx said, in a voice she had never heard him use before. “Did you ever doubt that?”

Magpie didn’t know what to say to that. She turned instead and looked out over the City.

"I'm going to die tomorrow," she said eventually. She wanted it to sink in, to panic and cry, but it seemed a distant concept to grasp, as though she was watching it happen to someone else.

“ _Don’t_ say that,” Shaxx growled.

She snorted. “I’m fighting for humanity, but I feel like humanity would rather I didn’t if they knew who I was. I can’t die, but I can’t do much else either. So I’m not fighting to live any more.” She took a deep breath.

“You sound as though you’re giving up.” Shaxx said flatly.

“Maybe I am,” she said softly, looking out over the City, the Wilds spreading out beyond the wall. “Maybe it’s time.”

“No.”

The vehemence in his voice took Magpie by surprise.

“What d’you mean, no?”

“I won’t let you give up.” He said bluntly. “You’ve worked so hard to get here.”

“Yes, and for what?” She said. She was aware her voice was getting louder again, but she didn’t much care. “There’s nothing here for me. Why should I fight for people who’ve never wanted me.”

“What about Kerryn and Nav?”

“They’ll get over it,” she said bullishly. _I hope._

“You’re leaving them without a Fireteam,” Shaxx said crossly. “That’s rather disloyal, don’t you think?”

“Oh don’t start talking to me about disloyalty.” Magpie snapped back. “That’s a bit rich, don’t you think?”

“What do you mean?”

“It was all leading up to this, wasn’t it? Give her a gun, train her to shoot, tell her it’ll all be OK in the end so she doesn’t kick up a fuss, and then when she can stand on her own two feet send her into the jaws of hell – _alone_ – and if she comes back out, great. If not, time for plan B. No harm, right? Nobody’s going to miss a _Nightcrawler_.”

“Stop it,” Shaxx snapped.

“Why?” Magpie shouted. “Take your damn helmet off, look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong.”

Shaxx grabbed her by the shoulders so hard she hissed in pain and for one moment she thought he was about to strike her.

“Do you honestly think that I’m OK with this?” he snarled. “Do you think that I agree with them?”

Magpie stared at his face, anonymous as ever, and she suddenly felt as though he'd locked eyes with her soul. An invisible fist constricted around her chest. Memories started to flutter, unbidden, into her head like moths at his words.

_A hand hauling her from the ground, fire spreading slowly through her bones from his fingers. Soft voices in the dark. Her back against his chest as he held her steady through the gun rattle._

Suddenly she was more scared than she had ever been in the face of anything the Darkness had thrown at her.

“Why should I care what you think?” she bit back, wrung from her gut in fear, tempered by a harshness she did not feel. “I’m your _student._ Not your equal or anything close. I’m never going to be Kerryn, or Nav, or _Alara_.

She regretted it the moment it left her mouth.

He let her go so abruptly she stumbled. There was an awful silence.

“Good luck on the Dreadnaught.” He finally said, voice like iron ice. He didn't look back as he left.

* * *

 

The fury evident in his gait and the line of shoulders as he crossed the Plaza.

“Well,” Magpie said calmly. “That’s that then.”

Ghost reappeared, bobbing nervously.

“Are you OK?”

“What do you think?” Magpie said with a snort that turned into a sob.

Suddenly she felt so angry it was as though it had permeated every facet of her brain, her personality, her heart and her thoughts. She aimed a violent kick at the railing, the pain that shot through her foot and ankle not enough to cripple her. She punched the wall, hearing a _crack_ at the impact, and then whirled around and let out a bloodcurdling howl of rage that left her chest on fire, fingers digging into the metal rail until her palms began to sweat. It rang around the Plaza after she’d stopped, in the silence that rushed in and immediately seemed self-conscious.

Before Ghost could say anything she vaulted the rail, rolling into the impact with the slabbed ground, and slid into the shadows as Guardians started to appear on the Plaza, looking for the source of the commotion.

It wasn't ever going to be OK again.


	27. XXV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're in the home stretch now, Magpie stans!
> 
> This is a slightly shorter addition than usual, but having it stand alone felt right. It's possibly my favourite chapter out of the story so far.
> 
> My appreciation for each and every one of you grows with each passing day. <3

The night brought only fitful sleep.

Reluctant as she was to doze off – she wasn’t about to spend her last night alive _sleeping_ – Magpie’s every waking thought was tormented. Every time she slipped towards sleep, she wondered if it was what dying felt like, and that was enough to send her back into consciousness, eyes wide in the dark, running through everything she was. Nightcrawler. Student. Friend.

_But not a Guardian._

_Never a Guardian._

* * *

The sun bled over the horizon, just as she’d seen so often in the Wilds, but this time it couldn’t touch her. She changed into her armour in the grey dawn light, scrutinising herself in the tiny mirror for the final time.

There were lines around her eyes she’d never noticed, a weary shadow carved deep into her pallor.

“I look old,” she said hoarsely. “I know I am old, but...”

Tears burned in her eyes and she looked away, grabbing her helmet and taking a deep breath.

Her quarters looked exactly as they had when she’d arrived. She had no possessions, other than the clothes she wore and her weapons. There would be no trace of her after she left.

“We’ll be back,” Ghost said softly as she looked around the room.

“Neither of us believe that.”

“No,” Ghost admitted. “But I can’t bear the idea of you walking onto that ship with nothing.”

Magpie was suddenly so overcome with misery that she couldn’t speak. She held out her hand and Ghost settled in her palm.

“You’re the only one…” She started, and then stopped, throat tight.

“I know.”

Magpie drew in a long, slow breath that rattled her chest like an earthquake. She reached behind her and picked up the sword from where it was leaning in the corner.

_Of course you're special. Did you ever doubt that?_

“Might be useful,” Ghost said in an artificially cheerful voice.

The sword hummed encouragingly in her hands. She ran one gloved thumb along the blade edge.

“When they find me – _if_ they find me…”

_How had she never noticed how perfectly the sword hilt fitted into her hand?_

“If they find this with me…do you think he’ll know?”

“I think he already knows, Magpie.” Ghost said gently. “Well and truly.”

Shaxx appeared in her memory, recoiling from words she hadn’t meant. Magpie rubbed her eyes furiously as a tear escaped. Her throat was almost painfully tight.

She would have walked to Oryx without a second thought if it meant she could take it back.

“Come on,” she said, holstering the sword on her back. “Once more into the fray.”

* * *

 The first thing she did when she stepped into the corridor was topple over something solid in the doorway. It grunted as she fell into the opposite wall.

“Told you this would work,” Nav said sleepily as Braco sat bold upright, hair sticking up in all directions.

“What on earth are you doing?” Magpie hissed. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

Kerryn rolled her eyes.

“Did you really think we were going to let you go without saying...”

She trailed off, and to Magpie’s horror her bottom lip was trembling. Kerryn of all people. Stoic, dependable Kerryn.

“It’s alright,” she said quickly. “You don’t have to say it.”

“No, you’re right,” Nav said firmly. “We don’t have to say it. Because you’re coming back. You hear me? We’re a Fireteam. The four of us,” he added, looking at Braco. “It doesn’t matter who goes into the field and who stays behind. We’re a Fireteam. And we need you.”

The last few thread’s of Magpie’s resolve gave way as Nav hauled her into a bone-crushing hug, and she wept against his shoulder. Someone’s hand was in her hair, someone else was rubbing her shoulder, and she clutched desperately at them as she shook with sobs until her chest ached and her head began to pound.

"Listen," Kerryn said, pressing her forehead against Magpie's. "You've done so well. You've come so far, from that scrappy little thing we found in the City. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You've _always_ been one of us."  
  
Magpie nodded, wiping her eyes with a trembling hand.   
  
"Here," Braco said suddenly. He pulled off his Titan Mark and held it out to her. "Use that. And take it with you. I know I'm pretty useless, but - "

"Braco - "

"Don't argue with me," he said, and Magpie felt the tear stains on her cheeks crack as she smiled; he sounded just like Kerryn. "I want you to take it with you. Because I'm with you. I always have been."

Nav suddenly reached behind his neck and pulled off his cape, draping it around her shoulders and attaching it to her armour. Kerryn tugged off her Warlock bond and gestured for her to hold her arm out. Once it was in place, Braco pressed the Mark into her hand.

"Go get him," he whispered, trying and failing to smile.

She peered over her shoulder as she opened the door and took one last look at the three of them as she stepped into the Plaza. They were still holding onto each other.

* * *

 The Hangar was almost completely deserted. Even Amanda Holliday was nowhere to be seen.

To Magpie’s astonishment, the only person who _could_ be seen was Zavala. And he was standing right next to the ship she’d been assigned.

“Guardian,” he greeted her.

She immediately released the lock on her helmet and pulled it off. He was damn well going to look her in the eyes before he condemned her.

“Shaxx tells me that you overheard our…discussion last night,” he continued when she didn’t respond. “I wanted to apologise before you left.”

“For what?” Magpie said coldly. “For sending me, or for saying it where I could hear it?”

Zavala’s face was impassive, but a muscle in his cheek twitched.

“It brings me no joy, Magpie.” He said. “All I can do is ask you to trust – “

Magpie burst out laughing.

“No thanks,” she said scathingly. “I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I want you to know that I don’t buy it. I’m going onto that Dreadnaught knowing that you’ve never believed in me from the start, and I’m going to die knowing that I’m nothing to any of you.”

For the first time since she'd arrived in the Tower, the Commander looked rattled. He looked at the ground, with an expression that suggested a deep internal struggle, but Magpie suddenly found she didn't care.

“Transmat,” she said before Zavala could speak again, and Ghost obliged.

* * *

The moment her feet hit the floor she turned towards the controls, as she'd seen Kerryn do. The engines roared. Everything vibrated.

A lead weight dropped into her stomach.

“Ready?” Ghost asked at her shoulder.

“No,” Magpie said grimly, and pulled back on the control column.


	28. XXVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry it's been so long since I updated. Real life started...happening, and unfortunately I had to re-prioritise a lot of things. We're back now though! When we left her last time, Magpie was about to set off for the Dreadnaught...

The Dreadnaught was eerily quiet, the ambient hum of the engines the only sound in the dark. There were no Cabal, no Taken. No other Guardians.

Magpie took a deep breath and tried to stop her hands from shaking.

“I’m here,” Ghost said gently. “I’ll be here all the way.”

It didn’t say _until the end_ , but Magpie heard the unspoken meaning nonetheless.

With one last, long look at the sky through the breach in the hull, stars spiralling out endlessly into space, she jumped to the ground.

* * *

 

The thick, slimy water that pooled around the bottom of the ship didn’t smell any better than it had the first time. Even though the air filter on her helmet Magpie could discern the smell of death.

“I’m picking up something,” Ghost said. “It must be the ‘high level of Taken activity’ Zavala mentioned.”

“Show me.”

Ghost zipped in front of her and started down one of the labyrinthine tunnels. She followed warily, one hand hovering over the auto rifle and one gripping the handle of her knife.

They’d barely turned the first corner before the shrill cry of Thralls echoed across the walls.

Instinctively, Magpie dropped back onto one knee. Sight locked. The rifle blast rattled through her arms, cutting through the crowd of Thralls as if they were butter. When the last one had dissolved into the shadows, she holstered the gun again with a smug expression.

If Shaxx could see her now…

 _But he can’t_ , she reminded herself, and closed her eyes against the raw, tearing pain in her chest. _He can’t, and he’ll never see you again._

“Magpie?”

She shook herself, and blinked into the darkness. Ghost was concerned.

“Where now?” She said, voice sharp as it ricocheted off the damp walls.

“Mausoleum.”

"I can't see a damn thing in these tunnels -"

She promptly flinched as Ghost lit up like a tiny sun, bouncing in front of her to illuminate the path.

“I spoke to Zavala's Ghost before we left," it went on "I think there’s likely going to be some...doorway, or portal, we need to access to get to Oryx. It's probably not going to be too pleased that you're trying to get through it. We'll need to trick it into thinking you're an Ascendant Hive, somehow."

“Is that all?" Magpie said drily. "How are we going to do that?"

“I’m not sure.” Ghost mused. “We’ll need to do some investigating. I know one thing for certain, though: it’s going to be heavily guarded. Be prepared for a fight.”

Magpie bit back a sarcastic response as she followed.

* * *

 

The Mausoleum was even less pleasant than the broken hull of the Dreadnaught, if only because it was entirely enclosed. The cavernous hall was bathed in eerie green light, and decay resonated from every surface. Magpie could hear the uneven, guttural breathing of Hive from below her, but there was no sign of the Taken.

“Now what?” She muttered to Ghost out of the corner of her mouth. “Am I supposed to go around tapping on walls until I get too close and they swarm me?”

“I don’t think that’s going to be necessary,” it said, glowing eye fixed on a point over her shoulder. She turned to follow it and saw two rocks coming out of the ground like jagged teeth with a vast black space between, flecked with shooting white. It looked almost like starfire.

"That'll be it, I suppose," Magpie said grimly.

“Are you ready?” Ghost asked her softly.

“It’s a bit late if I’m not, isn’t it?”

“Good point. Let’s go.”

Magpie was half-expecting the hall to explode in light and noise as she made to step out, but all she heard was the low snarling of the Hive. Her instincts from the Wilds came flooding back to her as she moved soundlessly, low to the ground.

“What should I do?” She muttered to Ghost. “If I try and take out the Hive then I’ll make a hell of a noise and wake up whatever’s guarding that portal. But if I run for it, I’ll have the Hive _and_ the Taken on my back, and I can’t fight all of them.”

“I think we can use that to our advantage,” Ghost mused. “You’re faster than they are, for the most part. If we can get the Taken embroiled with the Hive we can slip through the portal before they realise what’s going on.”

“Do you really think that’ll work?”

“I think it's the best chance we've got," it said delicately.

"Right," Magpie said heavily. "I'll - "

She stopped suddenly. The rhythmic, croaking noises of the Hive had disappeared, leaving only the hum of the engines echoing off of the Mausoleum walls. The room was quiet.  
  
Too quiet.

"Uh oh," Ghost said.

The dull _thunk_ and the shrieking made Magpie jump even though she was expecting it. She took a couple of steps back into the stagnant puddles as the dark shapes morphed and took form.

If she’d been in any doubt that this was the path to Oryx, the numbers of Taken that manifested put that to rest.

There was a moment of brief and not unpleasant surprise as she swung the gun from her shoulder and turned to the incoming horde; it no longer felt ugly and alien in her hands. And, she had to admit, it _was_ more efficient than the bow.

The Taken were like stars and smoke made manifest, blurred around the edges, but their presence was oppressive and Magpie could almost feel the darkness sinking through her skin through the armour. She opened fire with a roar, finger plugged down on the trigger, recoil rattling her shoulders, stopping only to reload the weapon with an ease that surprised her. On and on and on and they still wouldn’t stop, spindly little figures blinking forward.

“What the hell - “ Magpie angrily yelled, and then her voice promptly caught.

Out of the shadows, looming above her head was a horror unlike any she’d met before.

She had a sudden, wild recollection of the stories about angels the Matriarchs would tell them in the Wilds, of light and salvation and kind words. But this was nothing like the image she’d been given as a child. It was enormous and malevolent, with pulsing light where its hands should be and robes that fluttered in an invisible wind.

It let out a scream that seemed to reverberate in Magpie’s bones and send streams of crackling light towards her. She staggered backwards, striking out with her elbow and catching one of the shadowy Taken Thralls, and rolled onto the ground as the light soared overhead. She could almost taste the energy of it on her tongue.

“They’ve taken a Wizard,” Ghost said, voice somewhere between horror and reverence.

“Do I want to know what a Wizard is?”

“Hive. Probably from the Moon.”

“And how do I kill it?” She said, wincing as it shrieked again.

“It’s managed to shield itself, but I don’t think it’s got infinite capacity to hold it,” Ghost said urgently. “You should be able to wear it down if you shoot at it."

Magpie flexed her hand around the gun. She was quite suddenly filled with a determination that hummed through her muscles right to her fingers.

If she was going to die, she was going to last as long as possible. She was going to get to Oryx.

If they found her, they’d know she’d gotten there.

She rolled into a kneel so quickly she nearly knocked Ghost out of the air. Bracind herself against the stone floor she slammed her finger onto the trigger, teeth rattling as the gun screamed.

When it stopped, she reloaded. Stop, reload. Stop, reload. Over and over until her arms lost all feeling and she could have sworn her eyeballs were vibrating in her head. The Wizards screamed in fury, trying and failing to conjure light from its fists in the face of her assault, but she could see even through the shaking from the gunfire that it was faltering, weakening as the barrage took its toll.

Eventually it shattered, wisps of dark tendrils exploding as its scream of fury melted into the ambient hum of the Dreadnaught.

“Nicely done,” Ghost said.

“Thanks,” she panted. The tang of the gunsmoke was heavy on her tongue. “I – what is it?”

Ghost was looking at her strangely.

“This shouldn’t work,” it said slowly.

“What do you - “

“I was about to say we were probably going to have to find something of the Hive's to trick it,” Ghost said. “It’s not just going to open for anyone. We need to convince it that you’re allowed.”

“Allowed?”

“It’s been set up for the Ascendant Hive to pass through, and nobody else,” Ghost said urgently. “Zavala patched me through all the data he had from Eris Morn - “

“ _Who?”_

“Only Ascendant Hive can pass through the portal,” Ghost said. “We shouldn’t even be as close to it as we are right now.”

Magpie blinked and realised in the carnage of the fight she'd inched nearer and nearer to the portal until she was almost leaning on one of its enormous stone pillars. It felt cold, with a thick energy emanating that made the hair on her arms stand on end.

"Will I be able to get through it?" She said. The twinkling darkness was hypnotic.

"I don't understand how - "

_"Ghost."_

"Yes, I don't see why not, based on what I know about Ascendant Hive, but I don't _understand_ , Magpie, you're not - "  
  
Gianna's smug face flickered through her mind.

"Don't try to understand," she said numbly. "It doesn't matter any more."

Ghost turned and made to dive through the portal, but Magpie grabbed it suddenly. It buzzed in protest.

“Wait,” she said softly. “If I’m walking to my execution I...I want a minute.”

“Of course,” Ghost said softly. “I follow your lead.”

Magpie nodded absently. Her head wasn’t in the Mausoleum anymore, it was back in the Tower. If she closed her eyes and tuned out she could almost feel the warm weight of Nav’s arm around her shoulders, Braco’s palpable nervous energy, the way they all stood a little taller any time Kerryn was at their side.

And then she thought of Shaxx, and it was like an invisible fist had clenched around her. _I think he already knows,_ Ghost had said, but how could he? She could still remember the edge to his voice as he'd snapped at her. In his eyes she was nothing more than the inconvenience who'd stumbled into him in the Wilds.

She opened her eyes and blinked away the tears that threatened, flushing even though Ghost couldn't see her face.

“Alright,” she said hoarsely. “Let’s go.”


	29. XXVII

For a moment, Magpie thought she’d died.

Endless, sheer blackness consumed everything. She was drowning in it. She tried to scream, tried to reach out for Ghost

 

_Mama, I'm lost_

she fell against the wall with a grunt as her feet hit solid ground again. Disoriented, she blinked as the world swam.

“Ghost?” She croaked, feeling around the air above her shoulder with a sudden panic. It had been so dark, so empty -

“I’m here,” Ghost said through her comms. “I’m here.”

Shecould have wept with relief.

“I thought - “

She took a deep, shaky breath and blinked as her eyes adjusted to the tunnel. It was lit by a single burst of white fire that made their shadows dance menacingly on the walls, tall and grotesque. Despite the size of the flame, the cold seeped into her muscles through her armour.

There was no sign of Oryx, but this was where he lay. She was as sure of that as she was sure of the bow.

There were a droopiness, a weariness about her Ghost that troubled her. She held out her hand and let it settle on her open palm.

“We’ve gone beyond the reach of the Traveler,” It said. “Magpie...if you die here, I’m not sure I can bring you back.”

Magpie sighed, stretching her fingers out and rolling her shoulders back. She inhaled hard until the muscles in her chest and back twinged, suddenly completely aware of her own mortality in a way she'd never been.

“I always thought I’d die under the sun, in the dust,” she said heavily. “The Wilds gave me everything, and I gave everything back. I wanted to give them my bones, and they’d give me a place to find peace at last.”

Suddenly she didn’t trust herself to speak of it without weeping. She stepped forward and reached out towards the flame, but as soon as her fingers grazed it it moved, shooting forward along the floor and leaving a thin white line in its wake. Magpie watched as it hit the end of the tunnel and spread upwards into a crudely-formed symbol, before it blazed through the middle and split apart with a grinding noise.

_Are you waiting for me, Mama?_

“What will you do?” She said suddenly. “If I die here. Will you find someone else?”

There was a long, long silence.

“I don’t know,” Ghost said finally. “I’m not sure it’s ever happened. I know Ghosts have perished and their Guardians followed soon after, but for a Guardian to leave a Ghost behind...”

Magpie swallowed hard.

“We had something special, you and I,” Ghost said finally. “The Traveler might pull me to someone else, or it might not. I might end up adrift and looking for as long as the Light gives me. But I’ll never forget you. And I was lucky to have you as my Guardian.”

She grinned wryly. “But I’m not - “

“To me, you always have been.” It said, in a tone that brokered no argument.

* * *

There was nothing but darkness through the door, with smoky tendrils of light that could have been within arm’s reach or miles away. Magpie stepped forward blindly, one foot in front of another. There was a menace in the air that made her skin prickle under her armour. Her insides twisted and her mouth was dry.

Before she could speak to Ghost, one of the wisps of light intensified into a blinding force. Then another, and another. The darkness shrank back to a single point, opening up into a cavern not unlike the Mausoleum, with a monstrous figure manifesting in the centre.

_Oryx._

Magpie quailed as he raised his arm, terrible wretched blade in hand, and snarled.

“At last, I will have my vengeance!” He roared.

Automatically, she pulled the gun from her shoulder and readied it.

“This is what the Guardians have sent to face me? This is what has been deemed _worthy_?”

“I am worthy,” she snapped back without thinking.

Oryx barked out a laugh, but Magpie felt her heart begin to beat faster, a fire burning in her arms and legs. Being told she wasn’t worthy by Gianna, by Zavala, had hurt. Being told by someone who was about to kill her was worse.

She’d had enough.

With an animal noise dragged from her soul, she opened fire.

* * *

 

Above the rattle of the gun she heard Oryx’s noise of fury, and watched as he conjured up Taken bodies from the ground. She reloaded the gun and advanced, ignoring them other than to deal the occasional blow to a skull with her elbow. They skittered around the bullets, seemingly unsure how to get to her.

As swiftly as he’d materialised, Oryx vanished, leaving a seething mass of Taken in his wake. They leapt towards her with a scream, and

_Magpie was suddenly back in the Cosmodrome with Kerryn and Nav, wrenching her foot out of the soil as the bodies consumed her_

she barely had time to holster the gun on her back and draw the sword before they were almost upon her. Spinning in a wide arc, they melted like butter as the sword passed through them with almost no resistance, disintegrating them before her eyes.

Her Nightcrawler instincts were still with her as she ducked between the stagnant puddles and flailing hands, destroying figure after figure. Sweat ran down her forehead and stung her eyes as she ran round and round, slashing furiously at the Taken footsoldiers, one by one by one -  


\- and then, just as suddenly as Oryx had disappeared, the body of the Thrall in front of her melted away. The room shifted around her, shrinking down to a circle enclosed by stone and smoke.

A prison.

“Where is he?” She whispered to Ghost, who was looking around as frantically as she was. “I -”

With a shriek that frightened her so much she forgot how to breath, Oryx loomed out of the mist. She nearly dropped the gun as her arms went numb, eventually readying it and grasping the trigger with shaking fingers.

The gun spat a couple of times and then clicked uselessly.

Cursing, she fumbled at her belt. Her hand slid over her waist and grasped nothing.

She was out of bullets.

She wanted to laugh. Of all the things that could have undone her, she’d _run out of_ _bullets_ _._

Oryx roared above her. He’d sensed her predicament.

“Your Traveller’s light cannot reach you here!”

Magpie grimaced at the irony.

She’d barely made a dent in him with the gun, and she didn’t dare get close enough to him to swing the sword. Her hand went to the bow unconsciously, the wood in her hands familiar, and if she closed her eyes she could see the rolling Wilds in front of her, river and hawk, the warm summer lifting on the breeze and the grass between her fingers, Back when she was _alive._

Her life now was forfeit, the Tower had proven that time and time again. Her heart broke and burned in equal measure.

She wanted Shaxx with her with a ferocity that frightened her.

“You don’t frighten me, you know” she shouted into the room.

“Then you are a fool!” Oryx snarled. “What you call Darkness is the end of your evolution. You will die here.”

“I know,” Magpie said. “But you know what? I don’t care. I came into this world with nothing and I’ll leave it with nothing.” She whipped an arrow into the bow in a fluid movement. “But I’m damn sure I’m taking you out of it as well.”

The enormous sword cleaved down before she’d had a chance to take the shot, knocking her sideways, but she felt no pain.

“I can’t heal you,” Ghost said frantically. “Oh, Magpie…”

“I don’t care,” she grunted, and it was true.

“The Darkness is a gift.” Oryx roared. “Let my will set you free.”

Magpie got up onto unsteady feet, hands slippery with blood, and set an arrow into the bow, taking aim at Oryx’s eyes. But something unfurled inside her with a ferocity that nearly knocked her sideways, more than her fury for the Vanguard or the… _whatever_ it was she had for Shaxx.

Her fingers shook and her vision blurred and she was afraid.

_Was this death? Real death?_

Oryx flapped his wings and readied the sword; Magpie swung the bow up to meet him.

Everything exploded.

The room was ablaze, but there was no heat. She could hear Oryx bellowing from somewhere amidst the light and fury, and there was something new in his voice.

_Pain? Fear?_

She shot again and again, the arrows never ending, her hand fused to the bow.

She was unstoppable, and she was terrified.

Each thrash of the bow string burned her muscles and rattled in her head.

She screamed and wrenched her hand away from the wood with an effort that sent her sprawling onto the floor, bow clattering somewhere beside her. Pain ripped through her from the inside out; she was sweating, screaming into the Darkness, her vision fuzzing around the edges.

Ghost.

Shaxx.

Ghost.

_Shaxx._

* * *

And then, there was nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This cliffhanger might be the meanest thing I've ever done. I'm so sorry.


	30. XXVIII

_The Gathering Circle was dry and dusty._ _Above her head, there was a soft roar, a blink of orange light. Another tiny ship leaving the world behind and disappearing into the clouds. She rolled onto her back, without a mind for the dirt tangling her hair or staining her clothes._

“ _What’s on your mind, Mag-pag?” Mama said, settling onto the ground beside her._

“ _Why don’t the Guardians like us, Mama?”_

_Mama looked sharply at her._

“ _What makes you say that?”_

“ _Heard one of the boys saying the Matriarchs caught him too close to the wall,” she said. “She said if he was caught skulking around by the Guardians they’d shoot him.”_

“ _Don’t think on it, my little Magali,” Mama said gently. “They have their lives, and we have ours. We are blessed that they want to preserve this planet, for it affords us protection.”_

“ _But why would they want to kill him?”_

_Mag-”_

_Her bottom lip trembled, and it cut Mama short._ _For this was a fear Magali harboured, a fear that she had never spoken out loud, but one that haunted her dreams. Nobody paid mind to a child wandering past, engrossed in a game or a childish conversation, but Magali had no friends and too much perception._

_She picked things up from careless chatter, and it haunted her._

_"What are the Guardians, Mama?" Magali almost whispered. Mama sighed, but it wasn’t the sigh that she did when she caught her misbehaving. It was a sigh of sadness. "Why can't we go near them?"_

“ _A Guardian’s sole purpose is to fight, Mag-Pag. They are drawn back from the spirit realm after they pass, forced back into their bodies to fight and die, over and over again. They’ll never know love, or mortality, or life the way we do. Life tied to the soil and the sky. To us, life is a fragile thing to cultivate and celebrate. The Guardians no nothing of that."_

“ _Why?” She whispered, chilled to the bone._

_"Because, my little love, they fight for this living planet, but the they are from a dead world."_

_Magali looked back to the sky and shivered._

_She never asked_ _about the Guardians_ _again._

* * *

“Magpie?”

_A whisper, from long ago._

“Magpie!”

_They are drawn back from the spirit realm after they pass._

“Mama,” she mumbled. “Mama it’s me, it’s Magali - “

“Eyes up, Guardian!”

 _Ghost_.

She vomited acid into the darkness, tasting blood. Pain cleaved through her head. The little blue light of Ghost swam double in her vision.

“You're alive!” It said, sounding strangled. “Thank god, Magpie, I tried – “

She whimpered as another wave of agony rattled through her.

“Easy! Take it easy,” Ghost commanded, and – wait.

That wasn’t Ghost.

With a great effort she opened her eyes. Orange and white.

Suddenly there was water at her lips and she drank so greedily it ran out of the side of her mouth, mixing with blood on the ground.

“Don’t drown yourself,” Shaxx said, sounding half amused and half alarmed. “There’s plenty of time.”

“Where – “ She coughed. “ - Oryx?”

“Gone,” Shaxx said simply.

“I don’t…”

He shifted and she shifted with him, and she realised he was cradling her in his arms, one hand behind her head.

“Where…Oryx?” She choked out again. The effort made her retch.

“Oryx systematically drained your light,” Shaxx said once she'd relaxed in his arms. “He ripped the heart from the heart of your power. It's little wonder you're weak.”

She felt boneless, sliding in and out of what felt real. The world was contracting to Shaxx’s hand around the back of her head, solid and warm. He shouldn’t be here.

Why was he here?

She groaned as another spasm of pain rolled over her.

The hand disappeared and Magpie mumbled in protest, panic bubbling in her chest. She yelped as she felt herself being scooped up, one of Shaxx's arms supporting her shoulders, one hooked under her knees.

“I’m so proud of you,” She thought she heard him murmur as her limbs grew heavier and the world fluttered closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: this was one of the first bits I wrote of this story. I read DistantStorm's comment about hurt/comfort and felt a little bit smug, because I knew what was coming next!


	31. XXIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all didn't really think I'd let my girl die, did you? We stan an icon.
> 
> I MIGHT be playing a little fast and loose here with Nightstalker lore (I main a Warlock) but call it artistic license. It works with the story. ;)

For a brief second, as her eyes fluttered, Magpie thought she was back in the Wilds, snow-coated in the dead of winter. Everything was white and sharp, and she was at peace.

She took a deep breath, but instead of frozen air the tang of sterile spray filled her nose and throat. She spluttered and blinked stupidly, trying to focus in the light.

“She’s awake!”

She jumped and groaned as her head thumped in tandem.

“Shut _up_ Nav, you great fool.” Someone hissed.

_Kerryn._

With a great effort, she forced her eyes to focus. Kerryn, Nav and Braco were by her bed, blinking owlishly at her.

“Sorry,” Nav whispered. “How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve been cut up, soaked in Hive water and stuck back together.” Magpie croaked.

_Hive._

_The Dreadnaught._

_Oryx._

“I’m alive,” she whispered.

Her throat was raw, her head was pounding, and she felt as though she’d aged a hundred years, but she was _alive_.

“Braco, pass her the water,” Kerryn said quickly. The Titan slipped from his seat and nearly fell over his feet as he grabbed a glass and pushed it into her hand.

“Only just, from what we heard,” He said, sounding awed as she drank. “What a time to find your Light.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You don’t remember?” Nav said gleefully. “It’s all anyone’s been talking about in the Tower since you got back.”

“Remember what?”

The three of them looked at each other.

“Whenever you’re ready,” she said, irritated. “I’ve had just about enough of people knowing things about me that I don’t for this lifetime, thanks.”

“You - you used the Light, Magpie.” Braco said finally. "You destroyed Oryx."

The room fell into silence. Magpie looked between all three of them for any sign that they were joking, but even Nav looked uncharacteristically serious. Almost awed.

“What do you mean, I used the Light?” She said finally. “How?”

“I don’t know,” Kerryn said. “Nobody was there. By the time Shaxx got to you Oryx was gone and you were unconscious.”

Magpie’s heart, which had leapt into her throat at the mention of Shaxx, disappeared somewhere into her abdomen.

“So nobody saw me do it, and I can’t remember?”

“Oh, Shaxx said the residue of it was everywhere,” Nav reassured her. “He said it was like nothing he’d ever felt before. I've never heard anything like it. _Cayde’s_ never heard anything like it. A Hunter, touching the void like that...

“He hasn’t,” said a voice from the doorway. “None of us seen it before. But we’ve heard the stories.”

Commander Zalava looked smaller, somehow, out of the surroundings of the Hall of Guardians. He looked at her with his usual unwavering calmness, and she stared back coolly.

“What stories?” Kerryn asked, after it became painfully obvious that nobody else was going to.

“The Nightstalkers,” Zavala said, stepping forward to lean on the back of Braco’s chair. Braco promptly looked as though he wanted to disappear under the bed. “The Hunters who walk in the shadows, who commune with the Void, long since lost to the City.”

Magpie was pleased to see everyone else looked as blank as she did.

“So that’s what Magpie is?” Nav said finally. “But how?”

“There was an old legend among the Hunters, a poem,” Zavala said. “We dismissed it, particularly when they turned it into drinking songs. But there’s always truth in the tales of old, even if it runs deep.”

He looked sidelong at Nav, as though he was expecting the Hunter to pick up the mantle, but Nav looked just as nonplussed as Magpie felt. With an uncomfortable sigh, the Commander cleared his throat.

“The Hunter from the hunted lands  
With nothing but her heart and hands,  
A power fragile, like a bird  
Awoke alone as evil stirred,  
She alone will save them all,  
The night will bring the darkness fall...”

He trailed off to stunned silence.

"There's more to it, that's merely a fragment, but you get the idea," He added when nobody spoke.

“So she’s what, some sort of mythical 'chosen one'?” Nav said sceptically.

“Who knows?” Zavala almost shrugged. “She is, like we’ve said all along, a curiosity. The Hunters sang of her existence, not her legacy.”

“Hang on, though.” Magpie interrupted. “ _’The night will bring the darkness fall._ ’ That’s what you meant when you said you had a theory, isn’t it?”

Zavala’s jaw was set in a hard line.

“You sent me to the Dreadnaught on my own based on something in a _Hunter’s drinking song_?”

Zavala gave Kerryn a pointed look. She nodded and elbowed Nav, who shot to his feet.

“Crucible?” He asked, pulling his cloak on. Braco visibly blanched as they left.

At the mention of the Crucible, Magpie felt her insides tie themselves into painful knots.

“How long have I been here for?” She asked Zavala.

“Two days,” he said, with a flicker of a smile. “Lord Shaxx will be delighted that you’ve come around. Perhaps he’ll stop accosting me every time I walk past demanding to know if you’re awake.”

She fought hard to keep her face straight.

“I wanted to apologise, Magpie,” Zavala said, a purplish tinge to his cheeks. “You were right in what you said. We were… _I_ was so blinded by the threat of Oryx I let my judgement be clouded. I should never have authorised you to go onto that Dreadnaught, and I’m deeply, deeply sorry.”

Magpie knotted her fingers and stared at them.

“So now that I’ve used the Light – which, by the way, I have no idea how to use in the future – I count for something?”

“Magpie, you’ve always counted for something.” Zavala said sharply. “It was our failing to make you feel otherwise, not yours. You were something unorthodox and we responded poorly.” He looked at the ground. “I regret it. We all do. Cayde was the only one who acted as we should have. We brought shame on the Vanguard with our actions, and I take responsibility as Commander for that. I can only ask that you forgive our – _my_ – blinkered judgement”

Magpie wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting from the Commander, but it wasn’t that. She considered his words for a moment.

“I still don’t know what I am,” she said finally. “I don’t remember it. For all I know it could have been a fluke.”

“I doubt that, very much,” Zavala said. “Not many Guardians, even our most seasoned, could walk in to face Oryx on their own and come back to talk about it, let alone destroy him entirely."

Magpie grinned wryly. "So you're saying I've gone from being an outsider because I can't do anything to an outsider who does too much?"

"You have proven that you're one of us, Guardian," Zavala said. "It is time for us to convince you that you are welcome here. All of us."

Magpie had a flash of Gianna's face as he stood and turned to leave.

"Wait," she said suddenly. "I don't understand...am I a Hunter after all? I don't know anything about the Light. I don't _feel_ any different -"

"Cayde will speak with you once you've recovered your strength," Zavala reassured her. "I doubt we can deny him any longer. Don't worry about that now."

"Easier said that done," Magpie muttered. To her surprise, Zavala chuckled in the back of his throat.

"Quite," he mused.  "I will say this, though: whatever doubts we might have had about you when we first met, you have proven we were wrong. I know it isn't easy to persevere in the face of people trying to convince you that you don't belong, but you've shown a strength of character. You're a credit to yourself and your Fireteam, and a credit to Lord Shaxx.

Magpie looked up quickly, but the Commander's face was inscrutable. 

"Thank you," she muttered, colour rising in her cheeks.

"No," Zavala said gently. "Thank _you_ , Guardian." 

 


	32. XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it! One chapter and an epilogue left. (Of BWABW anyway. Magpie's story isn't done yet.)

Magpie drifted in and out of sleep, enjoying the sensation of not quite being present. Her skin both fit her and felt alien now. It was an uncomfortable sensation.

During one of her waking moments, she was pondering how long she could get away with staying in the sanatorium when there was a soft knock at the door.

“Braco, you can't keep hiding in here every time Nav gets restless.” She said without opening her eyes.

“It isn't Braco,” said a familiar voice, amused. “But I'll pass the message on.”

Magpie cracked an eye open and found a stranger in the doorway, looking at her with a half smile. It was only when she saw the way he had to stoop under the doorway, the furred shoulders, the horned helmet in his hand, that she realised.

Her heart did something magnificent in her chest.

“I heard you were awake,” Shaxx said, manoeuvring himself into the room and settling with some difficulty into the seat next to her bed. Magpie realised she was staring, but she couldn't help it. His eyes were dark and weathered, there was a deep scar splashed across his neck and his nose looked like it had been broken more than once. There were dimples ridged into his cheeks and the stubble around his jaw was flecked with silver hair.

He was _gorgeous._

She, on the other hand, probably looked dreadful. She hoped feverishly someone had had the decency to wipe the blood off her face.

“How are you?” Shaxx asked once he'd made himself comfortable.

“Fine,” Magpie croaked. Her mouth felt as though it had been stuffed full of cotton, and she was starting to sweat. This was ridiculous. She couldn’t remember ever feeling shy in her life, and suddenly she was undone because someone had taken off a _helmet._

“You came to the Dreadnaught,” she blurted eventually, and nearly rolled her eyes at herself. Shaxx gave her a crooked smile, and she briefly forgot how to breathe.

“I paced around the Vanguard Hall until Ikora threatened to drag me back into the Crucible and beat sense into me. She’s the only person who’s bested me in the arena, you know. But I realised after that I couldn’t leave you on that damned ship, and even if it was only to get your – “ He swallowed hard. “your body and bring it out.”

"Oh," Magpie said stupidly.

Shaxx let out a shuddering breath. “You can’t imagine how pleased I was to find you alive, Nightcrawler. Chewed up and wrung out, but _alive._ ”

"I suppose you've heard how I did it?"

"I doubt there's anyone in the Tower who _hasn't_ heard about it. Especially because your Fireteam insist on telling everyone they meet."

Magpie snorted with laughter and promptly dissolved into a fit of coughing. Shaxx hastily passed her the glass of water on her bedside table.

"I wish I knew how I did it," she said hoarsely. "I can't remember a thing."

“If you put enough pressure on coal, diamonds form.”

“I’m not sure I like being called _coal.”_

“It was a metaphor. Nothing more.”

They slipped into an uncomfortable silence. Shaxx stared out of the window, throat working as he swallowed hard. Magpie watched with some interest.

Was he _nervous?_

"Do you think you can you teach me how to do it again?" She asked finally. "Preferably without the near-death experience this time."

Shaxx looked even more uncomfortable. “Yes. Well. That’s what I came to talk to you about.”

“There’s me thinking you were checking on my wellbeing.”

“You’ve killed a Hive King. There are few Guardians who can lay claim to regicide.”

She gave him a weak smile, but her heart was starting to bang uncomfortably in her chest. She knew exactly what he was about to say.

“I don’t think there’s anything else I can teach you. Not directly, anyway. The Crucible has plenty of lessons of its own.” His face was filled with self-assured pride that would have been comical had she felt at all like laughing. She felt like someone had poured stones into her insides.

“What happens to me now then?” She said, more aggressively than she’d intended. He looked taken aback.

“I -”

“You just throw me into the Crucible? I become just another Guardian, just another piece of cannon fodder for you to hurl abuse at -”

"I thought you'd be pleased, after what you said before," he snapped. Magpie reeled, cold shame trickling through her veins and making her hairs stand on end.

The tears burned in her eyes almost before she realised what was happening, and she stared intently at the machine monitoring her heart rate, willing them to recede.

She jumped when Shaxx suddenly took her hand.

“Forgive me, Magpie.” He said gruffly. “I am not a man of words. Cayde will likely tell you it's a Titan flaw, and…well, he may well be right.” Shaxx pulled a face, as though admitting this pained him. Magpie grinned in spite of herself.

“What I said, before Oryx…”

He blanched at the memory, She looked at her tiny hand, engulfed in his, vision swimming.

“A memory,” he reassured her. “We all say things in anger. I’d be a hypocrite if I tried to claim otherwise.”

“All I could think about on that ship was that I was going to die, and that would be how you’d remember me."

“Magpie,” Shaxx said, in a voice so gentle it made her want to howl. “You are the most beautiful, tenacious, improbable, magnificent creature I have ever come across. None of us are the sum of one evening’s anger. You are a supernova, the sun on the water, the draw of the sword. That’s how I see you.”

Magpie closed her eyes, overwhelmed, and felt two fat tears spill. Shaxx trailed his thumb over her cheeks, wiping them away.

“Sleep, now.” He murmured. “You’ve earned it.”

“Can I see you when I’m out?” She said thickly.

“Nothing would honour me more, Guardian.” He murmured in her ear, breath warm. She felt him press a kiss to her forehead, quick and hard, and she was so taken aback that the sensation had already started to fade by the time she’d realised what had happened. She raised a heavy hand to graze fingertips over the spot his lips had been on.

And then, she slept dreamlessly.


	33. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much to everyone who's read BWABW, given me kudos, left comments and generally been lovely. When I started redoing this after about two years of languishing on my PC I had no idea people would enjoy it so much. I'm genuinely absolutely thrilled every time I get an email telling me there's a new comment, and I'm blown away by the response. I've had so much fun.
> 
> Magpie's story isn't over, by any stretch of the imagination - she's got way too much fun still to have. ;) I'll be back soon!
> 
> Finally, I have a Tumblr I'm trying to get more use out of. I don't post about Destiny as often as I used to, but it's @radiofyre if anyone wants to follow me - I'll probably post links to further fic stuff on there as well.
> 
> Thanks again you wonderful people, and I'll see you soon!

The Tower air was so cold Magpie could almost taste the changing seasons. Clumsily, She attempted to pull the edges of her new Hunter cloak round herself. It was thick and warm, but surprisingly lightweight. And she’d just about managed to stop falling over the end of it every time she stood up, much to Nav’s disappointment.

The City sprawled out below her as she leaned on the barrier. It was almost a perfect reflection of the night sky, dark streets flecked and streaked with tiny, winking lights. Had it really been such a short time since she’d found herself dumped in the middle if it, frightened and confused?

She’d lived a whole life inside the walls. Now, the Last City didn’t quite feel like home, but it no longer felt like her enemy.

The sound of footsteps jolted her out of her thoughts. Her heart flipped, as though it couldn’t decide if it wanted to go up or down.

He’d come to her.

“Can you believe these neophytes?” He grumbled when he reached the fence. “You never talked to me like that.”

“Didn’t I?” Magpie said with a smirk.

“You at least had a modicum of respect.”

“Only cause you’re bigger than me, and I know how to pick my battles.”

He chuckled. “Maybe I should let you loose with these rookies. If they will not respect the Kingslayer, what chance do I have?”

Magpie felt her grin falter at the nickname. She’d heard them all by now, Slayer of Oryx, Hive-Bane, but they prickled uncomfortably on her skin.

“I wish people would stop saying that,” she miserably. “I did it by accident. They’re making me sound like a hero.”

“You are a hero.” Shaxx said bluntly. “You singlehandedly removed one of the bleakest threats this system has seen.”

“I did it by accident. I wasn’t brave, or skilled. I lay down and died -”

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” Shaxx interrupted.

“Did you just make that up?”

“It’s an ancient quote. The Praxic Order used to come out with it. Origin unknown. Warlocks spend too much time thinking of intelligent ways to say simple concepts, but that one seems appropriate.”

_Not the absence of fear, The triumph over it._

Hesitantly, Magpie reached out and linked her fingers through his. He started slightly, but made no move to remove his hand.

_Courage._

And then, slowly, he rubbed his thumb over hers, making circles around the knuckle. She was so thrilled she had to fight to keep the beatific grin from her face.

“You said ‘Magali,’ when I found you," . “What does that mean?”

Magpie looked over the Wilds.

“It’s my name,” she said. “My true name, the one my mother gave me. I’d forgotten. I’ve been Magpie for so long...”

She trailed off.

"Back in the Wilds, when a child was born, the mother would take it into the mountains and wait for them to speak the name to her," she said in a rush. "It  could take hours, or it could take months. I never found out what it meant, or what happened when my mother heard it." 

"And then they called you Magpie," Shaxx mused. "You told me it was because seeing you on your own was bad luck. I think I rather disagree."

She flushed, looking back out over the City as the back of her neck burned.

“I feel…different.” She murmured.

“The Light – “

“It’s not that. It's...I can’t explain it.”

Shaxx was silent for a time.

"I think I can," he said finally. Magpie raised an eyebrow.

"Do tell."

 

“You’ve spent all your life fighting,” Shaxx said. “Fighting your people, fighting the darkness. Fighting yourself. Now nobody will deny what you are, and neither can you. You’re free.”

_Free. For the first time, you're free._

The Last City didn’t feel like home, not yet. But. she thought as she breathed in the dusk air and felt Shaxx's hand around hers, this did.


End file.
